


Finding North

by nite0wl29



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Actually there's a LOT of pining, Angst galore, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author has absolutely no regrets, Awkward First Times, BATB Pirates Edition, Beauty and the Beast Elements, Cunnilingus, Devoted Reylo, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hux is such an asshole, I promise!, I'm really not sure if that tag is needed, Kylo Ren is Davy Jones, Loss of Virginity, Mentions of past self-harm, Mutual Pining, Not with Reylo though!, Pirates of the Caribbean References, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Tentacle Kink, Tentacle Sex, The pain train is approaching the station, Touch-Starved Reylo, Virgin Rey, but I’m putting it to be safe, but it’s only a quick jog down the track, depictions of torture, with the use of face tentacles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2020-04-24 10:50:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 50,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19171768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nite0wl29/pseuds/nite0wl29
Summary: Rey longs for nothing more than to find the family who abandoned her on an island in the Caribbean. So when she discovers a compass that supposedly will help her do just that, she poses as a man on a pirate ship and embarks on a perilous journey across the sea. But little does she know, it is the compass that leads her directly to the cursed pirate captain Kylo Ren.OR in which Beauty and the Beast meets Pirates of the Caribbean.





	1. A compass that doesn't point north

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was inspired by this fic prompt by @Cajunspice714: Rey poses as a man on a ship to get to her home in America, the crew members find out and throw her overboard. Kylo Ren (Davy Jones) rescues her and lets her work aboard his ship to earn passage to America. Over the course, they fall in love.
> 
> Your comments and kudos are the butter to my jam! I'd love to hear your thoughts as we go on this wild journey. :)
> 
> Thank you to my awesome beta for giving this chapter a quick read through! More thanks to come after anonymous is off at the end of June.

Dawn was breaking the horizon when Rey saw the first ship entering Jakku’s placid harbor, which is a primary route for trading in the south between the old world and the new. The small merchant ship was but one of the countless vessels that journeyed through the island’s waters. Waters so clear and pure one easily perceive colorful forests of coral flourishing under its surface.

Though however many ships she witnessed passing by each day, none was ever the one Rey had spent a decade waiting to return.

At the age of nine, Rey had only been a child when she first set foot on the island. Having spent nearly a month on her parents’ merchantman voyaging across the Atlantic Ocean toward the panhandle of the new world, she still remembered what it had felt like burying her toes in the sand for the very first time. How her eyes had gone round after discovering palm trees the size of single-story buildings. How eager she had been to show her parents a large conch shell she’d found among shells in various forms and sizes further down the shore, while they mingled with fellow tradesmen at a nearby town.

Now, had she known that afternoon of fun and adventure in paradise would lead to her present state of distress, she may not have ever left that boat.

Helplessly, Rey had watched her parents sail off into the horizon until the ship was merely a speck. Had they even realized she was missing? Were they aware of having left their child alone on an isle that was frequently inhabited by pirates?

There were dozens, maybe hundreds, of excuses why they had forgotten her. But surely they’d come back for her once they noticed she wasn’t on board with them. She just needed to  _wait_.

She’d found a vacant shanty not far from the main coast. Should her parents come back for her, she knew it’d offer them the best chance at finding her, quickly, while also providing her suitable shelter. Even though as minutes moved into hours, days into months, months into years, the possibility of them returning grew slimmer in the margin.

What if something terrible had happened to them? What if their ship had capsized during a storm? It  _was_ peak hurricane season in this area of the globe, after all.

Or worse - what if they were attacked by pirates?

No, she refused to believe either of those thoughts. Her parents loved her. They wouldn’t have abandoned her there on purpose; neither were they dead in a pauper’s grave somewhere at the bottom of the sea. It just wasn’t logical in her book, not even the slightest bit.

 _Just wait_. _They’ll come back_ , she’d remind herself whenever a sliver of doubt crossed her mind, gazing at one of nature’s glorious sunsets. If she could withstand living on a ship for weeks on end, anxious to see the new world and if it was anything akin to the tales she’d heard, she could endure waiting just a little longer.  _Tomorrow. Just wait ‘til tomorrow_ , she’d said.

And yet...

Ten years.

3,650 days.

86,400 hours later, Rey was still waiting.

Not that she was keeping track of how long she’d been stranded there or anything. On a tropical isle where the seasons never evolved past wretched, humid summers, those days had merely bled together. Although, scavenging the shore for lost trinkets and objects while the tide remained at sea had also kept her busy.

She’d bring the items then to her shanty and rid of any barnacles or ocean grime. Anything broken was repaired if she considered it worth salvaging. Rey had come to realize she actually enjoyed fixing things. Mastering a trade like craftsmanship had given her a sense of control when everything else was falling to pieces.

Generally, mid-afternoon, she would make the short trek into the village to a pawn shop and barter her findings for a few essential necessities. By the day’s end, fatigue was rapping at her consciousness, only to render the same routine on a completely different day. And this morning was frankly no exception.

She’d woken before sunrise to pillage the shore of discarded objects, including a pair of blue crabs for dinner, till the tide arrived. The rest of the morning was spent scouring each and every object clean of barnacles and muck from her front door stoop, watching as the sun climbed higher into a clouded sky. Rey welcomed the rain. It was a reprieve from the relentless sun rays as she later strolled into town.

No matter the weather conditions, rain or shine, the usual throng of commoners was seen hustling among aristocrats on Jakku’s mud-paved roads. Whores paraded themselves on street corners or tavern posts. And pirates, they were an entirely separate class of their own; however, most often than not, they blended well with the average folk, save for a select number who occasionally haled authorities.

Veering the corner of Maz Kanata’s pawn shack, Rey rolled her eyes at the few she spotted sleeping away their booze-induced hangovers in the pig pens. _Hm. Pigs with pigs. Maybe they weren’t such a different sort of class, after all?_

Except the livestock served a greater purpose in life.

A small bell chimed overhead when Rey pushed open the door to Maz’s, the aroma of age and mold a remarkable breath of fresh air in opposition to the stench of manure and mud. Silence swallowed the banter of civilians passing by as she carefully closed the door. There was no Maz, just heaps of unsold knick-knacks sitting on shelves and the floor.

“Maz?” Rey called out, still clasping the door handle. There was a harsh clatter in the background, followed by a muffled slur that made her chortle. Moments later, the sound of feet scuffing along wooden floorboards accompanied the emergence of a petite, elderly woman from behind a tall shelving unit of books.

“Oh, Rey!” Maz greeted elatedly, adjusting the absurdly large frames on her nose. “Hello, my dear.”

Rey beamed at the little old woman, whose height barely reached her bust even when wearing boots. “I hope I’m not interrupting you?”

Maz snorted. “Heaven sakes, no,” she huffed. “You may be the only other person in this town whom I enjoy talking to.” Turning on a heel, the elder motioned a hand for Rey to follow her to a counter, partially bare of clutter. “What have you got for me today?”

Deciding it was best that she simply show Maz rather than speak, Rey drew up the satchel hanging at her side and proceeded to spill its contents onto the counter. Maz’s eyes widened at the assortment of keys, locks, and pewter flatware. “My, my,” she hummed. “You were busy this morning.”

Rey bit her bottom lip. “Do you think it’s worth anything?”

“Well, I’ll have to take a look and see,” the old woman sighed. Gauging by the hesitancy in Maz’s tone, Rey figured she may as well have told her  _no_ right then. “Unfortunately, there’s just no demand for these sorts of things, I’m afraid.”

Rey had wondered earlier if that would be the case. Household items weren’t exactly scarce on Jakku, or rare sort of delicacies. Scavenging had gotten her through the tough times since she’d been on the island. What would she do if there was nothing of value left to get her by? Be a whore at the tavern alongside the inn? Definitely  _not_ how she planned to lose her virginity.

 _No_ , Rey scowled, the thought alone was bad enough to elicit dry heaves. She’d rather shrivel to nothing and starve than hand herself over to some miserable bastard at a bar, or be another notch on a public headboard.

“You know,” Maz began pensively, causing Rey to blink from her daze. “I was chatting with Governor Organa—yesterday, in fact.” She smiled knowingly. “She _did_ mention she was wanting to hire an extra maid at the plantation outside of town.”

Rey’s eyebrows quirked. “You mean a job?”

“Mmhm,” Maz replied assertively. “Leia is a lovely woman. You’d have freshly cooked meals, laundered clothes, and a soft bed with fresh linens every night. Most importantly, she would be kind to you, too.”

Nibbling her bottom lip, Rey folded her arms over the ivory-colored fabric concealing her chest. Maz’s offer was indeed tempting, despite being hard to visualize herself amongst those of noble class. However, by working for Governor Organa, she would be required to stay at the plantation, and staying there meant leaving her shanty on the beach.

What if her parents came looking for her when she was gone?

“I do appreciate the suggestion,” Rey murmured, grimacing. “But—.”

“You can’t leave,” Maz interrupted benevolently. Rey nodded, grateful she understood. “I understand,” she assured, studying the pile of gizmos on the counter. “I’ll tell you what, give me a moment while I look through these, okay? I’ll see what I can do for you.”

Releasing air that she hadn’t realized her lungs had been holding, Rey uttered a soft _thanks_ as she stepped aside to browse the assortment of merchandise inside a cedar crate on an end table. An Aegean blue box, palm-sized, and geometrically-shaped with an elevated dome centered on its lid initially grabbed her attention. She discovered inside the inverted arch, upon opening it, was an inscription of the lustrous, star-filled heavens, and the device it retained she recognized was a compass. A navigational instrument so no one ever lost their way whether on land or sea, as its needle  _always_ pointed north.

Except for this particular compass, apparently…

Her brows knitted at the compass, confused, it appeared to be, by its own ferromagnetic force, twitching and pulling itself from south to north to west, before finally landing on east. “I think your compass is broken, Maz,” declared Rey, within her timbre was an edge of uncertainty.

“Oh! Goodness, that wasn’t supposed to be out there,” Maz exclaimed, leaving her position and soon joining Rey. “There’s no telling what would happen if it ended up in the wrong hands.”

Closing its lid, Rey scoffed as she surrendered the compass to Maz’s extended hand. “How’s a compass that doesn’t point north a bad thing?”

“Because, my dear child, in this case,” Maz’s gaze flickered to the box nestled safely in her palm, “you’re not trying to find north.”

Head cocked to the side, Rey crossed her arms again. “I—don’t understand?”

Silence hung briefly in the shop as Maz seemed to be contemplating her next line of words. “This compass,” she began to explain more quietly, “it is not ordinary. It will guide whoever carries it toward their heart’s deepest, utmost desires.”

It was asinine, really. Any person who was remotely sane would have laughed at how crazy the old woman sounded then. But in her heart, Rey knew the truth, this compass was the ticket she needed in order to find everything she’d been waiting all these years for. Love. Belonging. A family. Yet in Maz’s hand, it was so close but still so far out of reach.

Blinking, Rey felt something miniature, cool and smooth-surfaced, touching her palm. Maz, eyeing her intently, was holding the back of Rey’s hand, which now possessed the compass. Rey was confused. Completely and utterly confused. “Maz? What are y—.”

“There’s something special about you, Rey,” interrupted Maz, eyes warm and bright behind her specs. “Call it a hunch that’s telling me this compass belongs with you.” Her voice fell to a more serious octave, “Promise me, though, promise me you will _never_ let it leave your sight.”

Rey nodded in earnest. “Yes...Yes, of course,” she assured, clenching the compass in her fist. “I promise.”

“Good,” Maz said, letting go of her hand. “I hope you find what you’re looking for, Rey of Jakku.”

**

Rey beelined straight to the pier. Her heart was racing, like a battering ram slamming her ribs, and her lungs ached tremendously. But being solely fixated on gaining passage to a ship -  _any_ ship, so long as it was going east - she hardly noticed the pain.

There were several ships, maybe a dozen or less, lining the harbor. She heard the men on board them barking orders. Seagulls wailed as they flew overhead by the flocks, some perching on planks atop sails; some dove beneath waves, catching food.

It was peaceful, she had to admit. Beautiful. Serene. At the same time, however, it was absolutely terrifying. Because for the last ten years, Jakku had been home.  

Rey took a breath, a sudden gust of wind lapping the beads of sweat dotting her temples and neck, jarring the three buns scaling on the backside of her head, beginning at her nape and rising to her crest. Glancing at the compass in her hand alleviated the nervousness coiling in her gut. It reminded her that somewhere, beyond a vast ocean of blue, her parents were waiting for her. Perhaps out there on the sea, or on the mainland of the new world.

 _I’ll find them_ , she swore,  _no matter what it takes._

“You doin’ alright there, ma’am?”

The stranger’s voice caught her off-guard. Gasping, she whirled around to see a young man staring at her, seemingly concerned about her standing there looking foolishly lost. His arms crossed over his cream and linen-colored, striped shirt, a plunging neckline leaving the dark skin of his chest slightly exposed, sleeves rolled half-way to his elbows, its bottom hem tucked inside a pair of khaki trousers. Had her eyes dipped any lower she may have noticed the silver hilt of a sword holstered at his waist.

“Yeah, sorry,” she nervously laughed, crossing her arms too. “Actually, um...Maybe you could help me?”

He shrugged lazily. “Depends on the assistance, I guess.”

“I need a boat,” she demanded nicely.

“You mean a ship?”

“Boat, ship, does it really make a difference?” She scoffed.

“There’s a huge difference, actually,” he chuckled. Allowing his hands to hang loose at his sides, he directed a finger towards a smaller vessel garnishing twin sails. " _That_ is a boat,” he corrected, then motioned his hand to a ship of larger size with more sails. “ _That_ is a ship.”

“Whatever,” sighed Rey, rolling her eyes hard in her skull. “So long as it floats, I don’t care about technicalities.”

“No need to get your bloomers in a bunch there, peanut,” he chided lightly. “I’m just messing with ya.”

“Can you help me or not?” She grumbled, making it apparent to him she was losing patience quickly. “I have no money, otherwise I’d offer to pay you.”

“Aye.” His eyes swept down then back up her attire. “But you’re gonna need a change in wardrobe,” he suggested with an eyebrow raised.

Frowning, Rey gave her ivory blouse and rust-tinted skirt a once over. “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“The captain doesn’t take too kindly to women on board, I’m afraid,” he sullenly explained. “Unless your family jewels are hidden underneath that skirt of yours, I strongly suggest you find yourself a disguise.”

_Whatever it takes. Right, Rey?_

“Alright, I’ll take care of it,” she assured. “Where is your ship?”

His chin jutted to the east. “Got her anchored at the other side of the island. Meet me here at sunset, if you’re serious about going through with this.”

Rey nodded in response, assuring him she was serious without declaring it out loud. She lingered a few seconds after he left, uncertain as to whether or not he was simply tooling with her, or if his offer was genuine. For now, though, desperation had called for desperate measures. Wounding her pride was a risk that Rey was absolutely willing to take.

Grudgingly, heeding to his advice, she borrowed a permanent pair of khaki breeches and a mahogany overcoat from a close line outside a housing complex neighboring the pier. Thankfully, her own blouse wasn’t so feminine and made a decent tunic for a man. Saying a prayer, she silently thanked whoever was watching over the universe for blessing her with small breasts. For them, specifically, she tore a wide strip of fabric from her skirt and tied it around her chest, as tight as she could possibly stand it without depriving herself of oxygen. It also made the perfect hiding place for her compass.

Lastly, she cut her auburn locks to a length that barely made it possible to pull her hair back into a low ponytail at her nape. _This better work,_ she muttered, tugging boots on over her feet. She grabbed the dagger she had hidden underneath her pillow, just in case, before exiting her shanty for the final time.

As promised, the young man she’d met earlier was waiting for her at the docks, a hat on his head greatly resembling those she’d seen the local pirates wear. She immediately dismissed the thought the moment he smiled at her. Because pirates were selfish, their smiles usually sinister with missing teeth, and only cared about themselves and gold.

“And here I didn’t think you were capable of pulling it off,” he teased, regarding her new appearance. She supposed she could take it as a compliment. Whichever way he had meant it, regardless, it made her preen. “Now you just need this and you’ll be set with the captain.”

Rey happily accepted the hat he gave her. It had definitely fit him better than it did her, but having it to hide under made her feel slightly less exposed and more discreet. He led her then to a two-seater row boat stationed at the end of the dock. She immediately claimed a rower upon entering the boat, sparing him the need to ask for help.

Darkness descended rapidly across the water, no thanks to the sun’s absence and rolling nimbus clouds. Aside from the occasional glimpse of the moon, there was nothing but total blackness shrouding their surroundings. She could barely see the outline of a ship with dark sails as they rowed closer. That was when the butterflies started sinking into her stomach.

“I hope this works,” she swallowed thickly, narrowing her hazel orbs in hopes of getting a better look at their destination ahead.

“It will,” he assured. “Just do as I say and the captain, Hux, is his name, will never suspect you’re a woman. You can work with me, scrubbing the decks and shit. Sanitation is where it’s at when you want to remain invisible most of the time.”

Rey curled her upper lip. “Wonderful,” she snarked.

She heard him snort, but he kept quiet as he steered them to a rope ladder dangling from the ship’s bow. That’s when she saw it. A flash of moonlight revealed the black flag with the insignia of a skull-and-crossbones. Her heart began pounding like a war drum and her stomach turned sour.

“I almost forgot, I’m Finn by the way,” he nonchalantly said. “You got a name?”

“You’re a pirate!” She spat, venom blatantly lacing her tone. “And you didn’t feel it was necessary to tell me?”

“With all due respect, you didn’t ask,” Finn replied as if it were nothing. “Now either you tell me your name or I’m gonna have to make up one for you.”

Rey glared pointedly at his shadow, cursing him along with herself for not knowing how to swim. It was the only thing preventing her from jumping in the water.

“Well?” The boat swayed under his movement as Finn grabbed a ladder prong and pulled himself up.

For a split second, she considered biting the bullet and telling him her name. Her  _real_ name, first and last. No sooner than the thought appeared it was quickly swept under the rug and she pondered something else. Something that represented her situation prior to meeting this man on the docks. How she had lived alone for all these years. Alone and totally solo.

“Solo,” she stated calmly. “Rey Solo.”

She couldn’t say what his reaction had been. There was nothing but dead, awkward silence that followed. She began to wonder if she had said something wrong when Finn still hadn’t uttered a response to her name as they ascended the ladder. It wasn’t until he hauled himself over the ship’s ledge and offered her a helping hand when he finally spoke.

“Well, Rey Solo,” he smirked. “Welcome aboard the Supremacy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speculations as to what will happen next?? We shall see...;)


	2. The Silencer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even begin to describe how grateful I am for the feedback that the first chapter received!! I was so excited to begin working on the next chapter. Be sure to let me know what you think in the comments below. ;) Anon will be lifted at the end of June and you guys will finally get to see who your author is here!
> 
> Lots and lots of _thank yous_ to those who let me babble on about the ideas for the chapter and this fic! You guys know who you are. <3

The Supremacy was out on the open sea when the storm had begun rolling in. The ship groaned and creaked from waves pummeling its outer hull. Lightning crackled across a sky draped in dark, ominous clouds, followed by the low rumble of thunder in the distance. Onboard, crew members hurriedly scrambled about, preparing for the worst.

However, inside the captain’s quarters, bathed in the soft glow of candlelight and lanterns, Armitage Hux paid no heed to the warning outdoors. For hours, he had barred himself away in the miniscule chamber, obsessing over points on a map he had spread out earlier in the day on his desk, with a one-track frame of thought instilled in his brain.   

_The compass. Where in the hell is that bloody compass?_

His eyes burned from staring at the same string of islands all afternoon; specifically, at the little **X** ’s in black ink marking those he had previously conducted searches from dawn until dusk. Islands where his men had unfortunately returned to the Supremacy at all hours through the night empty-handed. The most recent failure being Jakku.

One island now remained unexplored - Tatooine, a tiny dustball isle saturated with sand, to be exact - before a decade of trailing breadcrumbs around the Caribbean would come to a halt. Rumors and tales, that’s all he had been chasing. Like a dog tracking the scent of stale rations on the street.

One island. One chance. Years and years of searching for it had dwindled down to this. Should Hux succeed in his quest and discover the compass that doesn’t point north, at last, he will have found the very tool he needed to locate the heart of Kylo Ren.

Then, for his nemesis, it was game over.

Raindrops pelting the window pane silenced the tap-tapping of knuckles on his door. Seconds came and went before the rapping sounded again. This time, the captain peered through his fingers, massaging his temples, towards the door.

“You may enter,” he responded blandly in a quiet tone, but loud enough for whoever lurked outside his chambers to hear. The door handle rattled and shook, and then the pekid appearance of Dopheld Mitaka emerged—Hux’s exorbitantly anxious first mate.

“S-Sorry to bother you, sir,” Mitaka stammered, remembering to close the door behind him as he reluctantly took four steps inside.

“What is it, Mitaka?” sighed Hux, clenching his eyes and pressing harder above his brows.

“T-The storm, sir. Perhaps it’d be best that we turn around ‘til it passes?”

Hux’s objection was prompt. “Absolutely  _not_ ,” he clipped sharply. Standing from his seat, the captain strolled over to a bureau opposite of his desk for a tumbler glass of rum, higher quality than what barrels of the beverage held on the bottom deck. “Stay on course unless I give the order stating otherwise.”

Mitaka swallowed and nodded briskly. “Yes, sir,” he assured, fiddling with the pleated sides of his trousers. “It was just a suggestion, anyway.”

Sensing there was more his first mate wanted to add to the discussion, Hux swiftly gulped down the shot in his glass and warily met Mitaka’s gaze. Seeing the worry on his face confirmed those nagging suspicions had been correct. “Go on,” growled Hux, unabashedly helping himself to another drink. “Spit it out before you combust, already.”

Flinching at the captain’s acerbity, Mitaka nodded and shifted nervously on his soles. “T-The crew,” he squeaked, arms folded in a vain attempt at making himself appear smaller. “They’ve been talking of the ghost ship again, sir.”

 _Ghost ship._ Hearing his subordinate mention the Silencer brought music to Hux’s ears. The sort of heavenly composition a soldier heard when informed that he was finally coming home after a decade-long war. “What of it?” he questioned coolly, raising the half-full tumbler of rum to his lips to hide a sly grin tugging their corners.

Mitaka’s voice fell to a whisper as if disclosing the details would summon the vessel directly on the spot. “T-That it was last seen within these waters, sir. That ships who have traveled this area are coming up missing. No prisoners or survivors have ever been recovered.”

 _Poor bastards,_ Hux mused internally.

But if there was any ship capable of matching the Silencer in speed, even when fully submerged as he reckoned it would be while in pursuit, it was the Supremacy. Luckily, his experience regarding the Silencer offered him quite the advantage, as opposed to other ships who had happened upon the vessel that was crewed by the undead.

However, what he had neglected to share with his men, was the fact they were dangerously meddling in the undead’s affairs—particularly, their captain’s.

“Return to your post, Mitaka,” Hux mumbled serenely, downing the last of his liquor in a single gulp. “That’s an order.”

Confused by the sudden change in subject, Mitaka could only blink as he sought to regain normal use of his voice. “Y-Yes, of course, sir,” he croaked out eventually. Backing up in two large steps, he moved to make his exit quietly, fingers touching the door handle as he turned to softly say, “I apologize for troubling you.”

Aside from his icy glare in the direction of the map, not a word was spoken by the captain as Mitaka took his leave. “You’ll never beat me, Ren,” warned Hux through gritted teeth, his voice at a low and menacing volume. “I’m gonna strike you in the heart as you did mine.”

A hard crack of thunder pulled him from his murderous haze. The shadow of a smirk on his lips rapidly faded when he looked down at the now empty glass in his hand. _Fuck._ He needed fresh air to loosen his nerves; otherwise, Kylo Ren will have won, not knowing he was the sole reason for Hux’s bodily decline. And he’d rather be damned than let his rival withhold that satisfaction!

Discarding the tumbler glass onto the desk, the captain retired from his quarters and strolled outside to the platform overlooking the main deck. Powerful wind gusts and heavy rain forced him to retain a solid grasp on the stern’s banister rail. Those who were scurrying below stumbled over ropes and barrels, no thanks to the occasional high surges of saltwater converting the deck into a temporary shallow pool.

Despite being total chaos onboard the Supremacy, Hux’s keen eye for detecting new faces in a familiar crowd settled on the pirate emerging from a doorway at the bow. _Huh,_ he pondered, squinting. Though try as he might, he couldn’t recall how or when they acquired the newcomer in question.

Momentarily, curiously, Hux simply observed from afar as the pirate lifted a hand, securing the tawny tricorn-style hat on his head in place, the tails of his mahogany overcoat thrashing wildly in the winds.

**

Moments earlier, while Hux was busy engaging with Mitaka inside his cabin, the crew was entertaining themselves on the third deck.

“ _Bullshit!_ ”

“Laddie, there ain’t  _no_ bullshit ‘bout it. I saw it happen with my own bloody eye!”

A fit of laughter resounded then.

“Alright, alright, let me get this straight,” a gravelly timbre rasped this time, pausing shortly. “You’re expecting us to believe there’s a ship out there, with a crew s _o evil_ , that Hell itself spat them back out?”

“Nah, shunned at Hell’s gates is more like it.”

“Aye! Matter of fact, the devil saw to it _personally_ that their squid-face of a captain was turned away.”

Banter regarding old sailor myths and lore had been droning on for nearly an hour now among a fraction of the Supremacy’s crew, and Rey couldn’t help but roll her eyes and groan. The absurdity in each and every new tale even greater than the ones she’d previously overheard, lounging in her hammock, swaying side to side incessantly, as she examined the compass Maz had given her just five days earlier.

Over the duration onboard, she found life on the Supremacy insufferable sometimes, and yet surrounded by humble pirates was also fairly entertaining—in the most unpleasant ways, save for the idiotic stories.

Heeding to Finn’s advice she kept to the bottom decks. He’d assured her the first night onboard that it was her best chance to avoid Hux as the captain seldom ventured past the upper deck’s flight of stairs. There she tended to sweeping and mopping floors. Wordlessly judging those who seemingly possessed the IQ of a flounder from afar.

And Christ almighty—Rey had seen more of the male anatomy in five days than she had in nineteen years of existence on Earth! But that was to be expected, unfortunately, when one had to share such confined space with well over a couple dozen other bodies at sea.

Fresh water was distributed sparsely; the food was absolutely deplorable. Biscuits baked with flour, water, and a pinch of salt was a constant on the menu for nutrition when the vegetables and beef were gone, two days into the journey. One could only overlook the weevils and maggots living inside them for so long before the prominent urge to regurgitate their food settled in.  

Though aside from mopping up urine to seeing more dicks than she possibly cared to admit, Rey obeyed everything Finn had told her—lips clammed unless spoken to included. To anyone else, besides Finn, she’d grunt in response or mutter her manliest  _aye_ , never once a suspected member of the opposite sex.

She truly felt invisible. Irrelevant. Isolated to her own private cranny on the good ship Supremacy. However, pirates or no, being surrounded by society whilst unable to be herself was the worst kind of loneliness one could ever experience.

Although the compass reminded her in these moments that the emotion itself was only fleeting. That she would one day have her family again. Would remember what it was like to be loved, and to love in return.

“Finn!” A voice boomed at the same instant thunder clapped outside the ship, jerking her attention toward the left to perceive Finn passing the stairway threshold and pacing towards her. “Just in time for the good parts of the story!”

Panicked, yet also not wanting to be too obvious she was hiding something, Rey shoved the compass underneath her breast-band while Finn was busy talking to whoever had greeted him. Mere seconds after she had the compass situated and her expression schooled to normal, Finn stopped between her and the empty hammock hanging across from hers.

“Enjoying yourself?” Asked Finn, brow furrowed, as he proceeded to immediately claim the vacant hammock for himself. Because if not now he’d be sleeping on a filthy floor later.

“You know it,” she grunted, lifting a hand to her hat brim and giving a quick two-finger salute.

Finn nodded approvingly. “I figured,” he snorted. A moment of amicable silence followed as he made himself comfortable inside his hammock. “What story is it this time?” he sighed contentedly.

“Something, something about squid people and ghost boats.”

“Ah,” he chortled. “The Silencer at it again, I‘m assuming?”

Rey scoffed at the cross-section of wooden beams above. “You don’t actually believe that garbage, do you?”

“To an extent, yeah,” he confirmed nonchalantly. “Legends do often carry some truth—unlike myths.”

Scrunching her nose, Rey cut him an incredulous look through the canvas lining her hammock. “And here I thought you to be so much wiser than the rest,” she teased. Despite having Finn blocked from her peripheral, she suspected he had a grin stretching ear to ear.

Never had she pictured herself becoming friends with a _pirate_ , but Finn was different. Finn was... _Finn_. Sarcastic. Funny. Considerate of his fellow crewmates.

“My pops was a sailor,” he stated out of the blue. “I was...maybe five when my mum died, I think. So, I basically grew up with ocean tales as bedtime stories.”

Biting her bottom lip, her initial instinct was to ask what happened to his father. But seeing as to how he wasn’t jumping the gun to enlighten her on the details of his father’s fate, she decided that a different approach was best. “Tell me more about the Silencer,” she politely asserted, hugging her torso. “What makes this story about a monster ship that can navigate underwater more a legend than a myth?”

Finn  _tsked_ several times - thinking, she presumed - before he answered. “Years ago, a Jakku native was caught and held prisoner on a ship, which matched descriptions of the Silencer. The structure of its bow resembling a sailfish. Its hull made of organic plant matter than timber. Some people think a curse was put on it by a sea witch, punishing those onboard for their sins. So, I guess the term _monsters_ is open for interpretation.”

“Sure, makes sense,” she reasoned, frowning. “And the prisoner? Did he escape?”

“Well, rumors say it was like a soul for a soul kinda deal. That the prisoner’s son bargained his own life to save his father’s.”

Her grimace deepened. “That’s awful…”

“Yeah,” Finn conceded. “Kinda strange you didn’t know the tale of Han Solo, _Solo_.”

Still engrossed by the essence of Finn’s story, it took a bit longer for Rey to thoroughly absorb the significance of his remark. Laying there, complete and utterly frozen, she blinked, realizing he’d caught onto her fib.

“Relax,” he chuckled. “I’m not offended. If it's any consolation, I wasn’t expecting you to —.”

“EVERYBODY ON DECK!” A crew member shouted from the stairway near Finn and Rey. Both almost tumbling to the ground as they shot upright inside their hammocks. Fear lodged in her windpipe upon noticing that the crew quarters was now inches under water. “I NEED EVERY ABLED BODY ON DECK, NOW!”

**

Chaos erupted on the Supremacy’s main deck. Pirates scrambled bow to stern and vice versa like mad ants at a feeding frenzy on a carcass. Each body present onboard flocked to their assigned station, helping the vessel stay afloat and maintain control during the wrath of the storm. Some drew in masts; others tended to supplies. Everyone seemingly had a job to do.

Everyone, except for Rey.

 _Breathe. Just breathe_ , she assured, trying to center herself and find something she could do to help the crew. Something to deviate focus from the battering gusts and the dagger-like raindrops pelting her slender figure. Something to take her mind off the fact she couldn’t swim and was standing in ankle-deep water from the Atlantic on a ship. _Something_ besides standing there, guarding a fucking hat on her head as if it were her only lifeline.

Why in the hell did she think this was a good idea, to begin with? She should’ve stayed on Jakku. At least on the sand, she couldn’t drown.

A burst of electricity splitting the eastern sky caused the air to catch in her throat. Erratically, the light flickered and flashed, granting her the faintest glimpse of what Rey could have sworn was a ship, approximately 1200 meters from the Supremacy. Its composition similar to the nose-end of a sailfish at the bow. And her compass, safely hidden, suddenly felt tremendously heavier, as did her heart beating furiously against it.

 _Am I the only one seeing this?_ She thought, blinking, as the tiny hairs bristled on her neck.

No one seemed to be too concerned with its presence. Or perhaps it was her mind playing tricks on her? A figment of her imagination, maybe, of all the stories she’d heard recently regarding the nefarious ghost ship the Silencer. Because when she blinked her eyes again, the ship appeared to have magically vanished, a vast ocean in its place.

“Ay! You there!”

With the mixture of smashing waves, thunder, and men barking around her Rey had barely distinguished the man’s voice calling out to her, who she then noticed was approaching to her left. His face was pallid and rigid, framed by layers of sopping, reddish hair, eyes cold and severe. And he was singly fixated on her.

There was no doubt in her mind, that  _this_ was the man she’d spent the entirety of her days on the Supremacy trying to evade.

“Captain Hux,” sputtered Rey, using the manliest voice that her vocal cords could muster, chin tucked to avoid scrutiny of the captain’s frigid gaze.

“Impressive,” Hux praised caustically. Clearly preening, she supposed, how aware she was of his name and face without receiving a prior formal introduction. Apparently, he’d declared beforehand that now would be a proper time for that. No, Hux wasn’t simply stupid like the rest onboard—he was just stupidly arrogant. “Though I must confess that I don’t recall having met you?” he continued to say.

Rey opened her mouth to respond but discovered it wasn’t her voice answering.

“Rey,” Finn provided from his position alongside her. “His name is Rey. We ran into each other whe—.”

“Forgive me for being rude, Finnegan,” Hux snapped, cutting a warning glare at Finn. “But I certainly don’t remember requesting your input. Unless your friend here is without a tongue, I suggest that you continue biting yours.”

Rey bit her cheeks to stop herself from firing back at Hux. She spared a lingering glance at Finn while the captain wasn’t looking, meaning to tell him  _thanks_ but he paid her no attention.

“My name is Rey,” she added as if it weren’t already obvious to the captain. “I was seeking passage to the New World and Finn was kind enough to have offered me assistance after we met on Jakku.”

“I see,” Hux pondered. “So for five days, you failed to seek me out because...?” He scoffed. “Wait, how old are you? Are you even old enough to be sailing on your own?”

“I thought a person’s age was irrelevant to you pirates,” she challenged. “But for what it’s worth, I’m nineteen.”

The captain grunted at that. “Nineteen going on nine, I presume,” he sneered, bringing himself two steps closer. “You have spunk, Rey. The spirit of a true pirate is awfully hard to come by these days. And you’d make an excellent addition to my crew.”

Apprehensive, Rey peered up at him through the brim of her hat. “I would be honored to assist you on your voyage, Captain. However long it takes to prove myself.”

Hux chuckled again. “That won’t be necessary,” he ensured, smug.

Rey should have seen it coming. Her accelerating heartbeat. The crimson banners before her eyes asserting that something was definitely wrong when Hux touched her face with an ice-cold hand, slowly tracing the curvature of her bottom lip with his thumb. The voices inside her head screaming she needed to  _run_. Far away and fast.

“Such a waste of spirit, too,” Hux snarled as if the very sight of her disgusted him. Loosening his grip, harshly, the captain turned to address another pirate who had come up beside him. “Throw her overboard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Hux is a bit of an asshole, but an asshole that I had a blast writing! However, I'm fairly certain Rey saw a certain someone's ship in the area. Or maybe it was her imagination? Hmmm...Anywho, I'd love to hear your thoughts and speculations on how he knows Kylo, their history, and so on...But I promise all questions to the mysteries will be coming in future chapters! 
> 
> As always, your comments are the butter to my jam and continue to fuel my love and need to write more! Please do comment and kudo. I appreciate both!


	3. Within Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys again for being so incredibly amazing response wise with this fic!! This is just a little bit shorter than I'd initially planned it to be, but the way it ends and with what's coming I thought it best that the captain deserves his own chapter. <3 Also, I just wanted to clarify while some of you are subscribed to me on anon may not be receiving your email notifications, once the anonymous is lifted after June you'll be receiving your updates whenever I post a new chapter! Which I am anticipating to update every week or bi-weekly from here forward. 
> 
> As always, your comments mean the world to me and are the butter to my jam. I'd love to hear your thoughts at the end of this. Also, many thanks to come for those who helped with this chapter!

While the Supremacy’s crew was distracted by the storm, an immortal band of pirates onboard the Silencer was closely following behind. An invasion was imminent as the immortals were seeking one artifact on the Supremacy for their captain, Kylo Ren. 

Formerly known as Ben Solo, son of Governor Leia Organa and legendary naval Admiral Han Solo, Kylo was given control over the Silencer early at the age of nineteen. Unbeknownst to him, long ago, a powerful curse had been placed on the Silencer’s former captain, and whoever killed its bearer would also hold an equal share in his torment. 

Whether the act was committed heroically or not, sequentially, Ben’s fate was sealed.

Like a disease running rampant through a third world country, the curse had spread to each and every newcomer onboard the Silencer. As of result, Ben’s outward appearance progressively succumbed to the curse‘s effects. The few comrades who had stayed and sworn allegiance to him were also affected; similar as to what happened to the Silencer’s original crew, now under Ben’s command. Slowly, the curse transformed their bodies to resemble an array of ocean-dwelling creatures. 

Within weeks of the curse’s initial enactment, Ben’s handsome features were dominated by a cephalopod’s. Day by day and little by little, Ben had helplessly watched himself become more monster than man. Creamy, pale skin turned sage, his layered raven hair disappeared completely as bristles of a four o’clock shadow on his face shaped into squid-like tentacles. Lastly, a crustacean’s claw had developed for his left hand. 

Truly, he was a monster in every way, shape and form. 

However...

A compass was made by the witch who’d created the spell and was meant to guide the cursed towards his only cure. Finding a compass that never pointed north was one thing, but to find someone who would love him like  _this_? A man who literally qualified as a new species from the ocean’s midnight zone? 

It was impossible. Because the notion Ben discovered next unfortunately furnished the tip on the iceberg. 

For an entire decade, Ben and his crew were banished from setting foot on land, save for one day where he was permitted to leave the ocean and walk on soil. If there was ever any chance in favor of him acquiring the compass, it had suddenly plunged into the negatives. To make matters worse, as if his soul shared a pulse with the damned gadget, Ben eventually pegged the compass’ location on land; specifically, somewhere in his hometown, Jakku. 

For years, its allure beckoned him to come and claim what he desperately desired most: his longing to be free of the monster that should have been destroyed when he saved his father from Snoke. To be Ben Solo again, and not the creature who’d adopted the name, Kylo Ren. 

As time progressed, the compass was seemingly glued to that bloody island. The longer he waited to be free, the deeper he felt himself falling into despair. Convinced he was forever doomed, his heart became cold and his temper grew unsteady. Consequently, Kylo caved to his inner darkness. 

Ren’s failure to cope led to him cutting out his own heart; which was then secured inside a small chest and sent someplace safe. Safe yet so apparently obvious, a new enemy was constantly overlooking its whereabouts. And the key to unlocking his heart was safely tucked away. Anger and a heavy lust for violence filled the hollowness left inside his sternum. Completely and utterly numb of feeling emotional pain, he began terrorizing vessels along the Atlantic Coast before returning to Caribbean waters nearly ten years later.  

Now, precisely two months prior to the day Kylo was due to walk on land again, that gleam of hope returned as the compass had finally crossed the division between land and sea. To his pleasure, the compass was onboard the Supremacy, a ship belonging to his sworn enemy Armitage Hux. 

“Canons are being loaded, sir!” Kylo Ren’s first mate, Poe Dameron, hollered. Despite the angry waves rolling across the deck below, Poe ascended the quarterdeck stairwell with ease and met his captain. Being so acclimated to the sea surely had its perks at times. 

Unlike the majority onboard the Silencer, Poe hadn’t been as dramatically affected by the curse. A fiery-shaded starfish hugged his right temple and underneath his cheekbone. Barnacles the size of gold shillings covered remnants of skin there and descended to his collarbone, the rest of his profile completely unscathed. His monkey companion Bee-Bee - perching on Poe’s left shoulder, screeching excitedly - looked more like an oversized, leafy seadragon than a spidery primate. 

 _What I wouldn’t give to have kept that sliver of humanity,_ Kylo thought. There were moments he hated Poe for it too.

Although, sometimes, he wondered if his first mate would have a better chance at breaking the curse instead. Compared to the captain’s deformities, Poe wasn’t so horribly bad looking. No woman would ever consider a monster like Ren worthy of attention—or love, for that matter. 

Regardless, he’d endure the suffering solely to prevent Hux from acquiring the compass.

“Hold the artillery,” said Kylo, considering the importance his timbre elicited little emotion. “ _Nothing_ is to be fired until I have the compass.” 

“Yes, sir,” Poe scoffed. “But what if he fires first? Without defense, we’re kinda sitting ducks here.”

Ren frowned at a thunderbolt cracking ahead. If there was nothing he wanted more than to free himself and his men of this prison, it was to unload the Silencer’s 46 canons on Hux and send him straight to those specially reserved places in Hell for traitors and mutineers. But getting the compass came first and foremost, before delivering sweet revenge. 

“By all means use your melee weaponry and kill whoever you come across onboard. _No canons_. I’ll personally throw anyone who disobeys overboard to the sharks.” Granted they probably wouldn’t die, but it was punishment nonetheless. “But I imagine he’s a bit occupied at the moment. You’ll have no problem getting onboard without canon interference.”

“Aye,” nodded Poe in accord. His brow furrowed thoughtfully then as he folded his arms. “A bit strange though for the compass to be leading him towards Tatooine. There’s nothing but sand there?”

Above the elongated appendages on his face, Kylo’s smirk was fleeting. “It’s not leading him anywhere,” he corrected. “He’s looking for it.” 

Poe’s eyebrows lifted skyward, vanishing under a black bandana covering his dark curly hair. “You mean Hux doesn’t know it’s there?” 

Ren nodded. Poe grinned. “Can’t say why it surprises me. The son of a bitch _always_ had his head up his ass.”

Grimacing at his first mate, Kylo stepped past Poe towards the quarterdeck stairwell. “Don’t confuse arrogance with intelligence, Dameron. His pride often clouds his judgment, yes, but it doesn’t necessarily mean Hux is incompetent.”

Poe grunted. “How much you wanna bet he’ll suddenly play smart this time,” he mumbled, trailing a few paces after Kylo down the stairs. 

Fixated on another crew member approaching, Kylo ignored the snark as he stopped at the stairwell base and courteously offered Chewie a nod. Now a more colossal slab of driftwood than a 7-foot man lacking regular use of his larynx, a low moan slipped through Chewie’s lips in response to his superior. His captain. His lifelong family friend. 

Charles Edward Teach was his name. Pre-curse, he’d had a thick, bushy beard on his face. Outlandishly tall at a hulking 7 foot 2 inches in height, and fiercely loyal to friends and family and the six pistols holstered at his side. And he regularly had a tobacco wad packed inside his bottom lip—hence how he’d earned the nickname Chewie. 

Keenly aware of the consequences for remaining onboard the Silencer, Chewie had been more steadfast and stubborn in terms of wanting to stay when Kylo sent his father home. The man’s parting words with Han was him promising he’d look after his and Leia’s son—through the good times and the bad. 

Truth be told, Chewie was the only individual there allowed to address Kylo as Ben. Apparently, old habits died hard for the old man. And Kylo was also the only person there who understood Chewie’s unusual curse-infused dialect. 

Ren glowered at the information Chewie proceeded to advise him of then. “From where?”

Shrugging the broad stumps he bore for shoulders, Chewie murmured a brief sequence of groans. 

“Nobody just appears out of nowhere in the ocean,” the captain snarled. “He had to have come from the Supremacy.” Ren’s comment and expressing his order to dispose of the individual was a hairbreadth apart before Chewie suggested he better go see the newcomer for himself. 

“What’s he saying?” asked Poe, both feet still planted on the third step behind Kylo. 

Again snubbing the first mate, Kylo’s head cocked quizzically at Chewie. “And what makes you think one of Hux’s men warrants my attention over the compass?”

Wordlessly, Chewie moved aside, offering Ren a clear view of the crowd huddling in a crescent towards the bow. Water was gushing around a prone figure lying motionless on his side, back facing Kylo as an unseen force brought him closer. The rapid flowing current sweeping the figure’s mahogany coattails upward revealed perfectly-toned thighs and buttocks beneath sopping wet trousers. A subtle dip at the waistline below a lean torso confirming the ‘he’ was actually a  _she_. 

_Oh, shit…_

“Found ‘im thrashing in the water like a damned fish outta water,” a man they called Snap explained when Kylo stopped alongside him. Snap was a veteran crew member whose features imitated a mighty hammerhead’s. Spending a lifetime cursed at sea had surely made it possible for him to forget the exquisite curvatures on a woman’s body. It had been a decade since Kylo was with a woman last, however, given his present state, it felt like centuries ago than just a mere fragment in time. “Got the water outta his lungs the best we could. The lad woke up for a second then went back out,” added Snap. 

Paying no mind to the man’s rambling, Kylo carefully stepped over her and knelt beside the woman for a better look at her face. She was beautiful, he perceived, fascinated by the dozens of tiny freckles powdering sun-kissed skin along her nose and prominently-defined cheekbones. Wet, stray chunks of auburn hair clung to her face, ends touching a partially open pair of pretty pink lips he so badly wanted to taste.   

 _Dumbass, you’d scar her for life,_ Kylo chided himself for even considering the thought. Though it was difficult not to think as she was everything Ben Solo wanted in a woman. _But why in the hell had she been with Hux’s crew?_ he couldn’t help but wonder. 

Reaching his hand out to brush the hair from her face, Poe’s leafy companion Bee-Bee’s wild screeches ceased him of the gesture. Ren recoiled his hand with a snarl as the orange and white creature sprang from its master’s shoulder, snatching a small object peeking beyond the front hem of the woman’s tunic. What Bee-Bee showed him rid the captain’s bronchial siphon - a short hollow tentacle which served in place of lungs - of its normal functions. 

As the creature gave Kylo the compass, the winds howling in the background faded to a buzz. It was half the size of his fist but in his palm, its weight was remarkably heavy. Weighing in the tons rather than ounces. The answer to his problems now resting in front of him. Curiously, opening the compass, its needle immediately began to spin, finding north.

If his eyes were to look up, he’d find the needle pointing directly to the young woman lying unconscious.  

“Captain Ren.” Poe’s voice was loud and clipped as if he’d already tried multiple times to grab Ren’s attention. Clenching the compass, Kylo rose to his feet and looked at Poe standing to his right. The creature Bee-Bee was scrambling up Poe’s arm to its usual perch. “What of the girl?” he asked Ren quietly. 

Ren’s conscience was saying he should leave her on the nearest island they stumbled upon next. There she could at least build herself a raft and sail to whichever God-forsaken scrap of land she was originally from. Away from the infernal Silencer and its crew. Away from  _him._

“Give her a hammock below deck,” Ren lowly advised. “Find some proper attire onboard for her to change into.” 

Poe nodded. “Aye, sir.” 

“And the Supremacy,” inquired Snap, “we just gonna let them get away?”

Sparing a glance at the Supremacy, Ren noted the large surges flinging the vessel to and fro. “Maybe if we’re lucky, the ocean will do us a favor and swallow them whole,” he sneered. Closing the compass, Kylo tucked it away within a back row of his tentacles; beside the appendage holding the key to his heart. “Forget the Supremacy. We have what we need.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I wasn't kidding when I said Kylo was literally Davy Jones. But fear not! There's a curse that's to be broken. ;) We shall see how Rey will react once she wakes up...
> 
> Fun fact for you guys: Edward Teach is actually Blackbeard's real name. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated!


	4. Who is the monster and who is the man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you all enough for being so incredibly amazing!! The comments so far have been so amazing and you have no clue how happy it makes me!! Without further ado, here's the very first Reylo chapter. ;) It'll probably go just about as well as you think. 
> 
> As always, your comments fuel my desire and are the butter to my jam!! A special thanks to [winglessone](https://winglessone.tumblr.com) for being a gem and giving this chapter a beta read for me while in transit to see Burn This! <3 And a special thanks to my other incredible beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) for looking over the previous chapters! If you're on Tumblr, come say HI! :) [nite0wl29](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com)  
> or follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29).

Waking to find herself in a hammock inside dusky quarters, Rey assumed she was back on the Supremacy. Everything she’d experienced the night before had to have been just a terrifying dream—a dream which happened to also be incredibly vivid in memory. Her clothes and hair, as of result from this dream, were even dripping saltwater still on the floor beneath her.

Hux had ordered her to be thrown overboard. But then, to humor himself and the crew, he had requested that she walk the plank. The effort Rey had put in to avoid drowning after she’d jumped was fruitless, pushing muscles in her arms and legs to their limits as she kicked and kicked. Like running a marathon and having no end to the race in sight. 

She’d been forced to hold her breath while the current pulled her deeper underwater. After a few minutes or so had passed, she was certain they would explode. Her parents were the last thought to have crossed her mind before her eyes finally closed and the ocean went black. 

 _None of it was real,_ sighed Rey. Seeing it was the only plausible excuse as to how she’d cheated death. _It was just a bad dream_. _A horrible nightmare._

Until she looked - _really,_ really looked - at her surroundings, and she found that ideology certainly wasn’t the case. Perception a bit disoriented, she squinted, discerning the vague details of this new vessel she was on. 

Narrow gaps and holes in its framework gave daylight access to the dark chamber. Above her in the rafters dangled seaweed by the bundles with skeletal remains of small fish tangled in their snare. _Interesting._

Amid the barnacle colonies up there were white tubes with scarlet, worm-like creatures protruding from their hollow ends. Some no bigger than Rey’s hand, fingertip to wrist; others fairly longer. _That’s interesting, too._ Those things didn’t normally live on a ship or land, but at the bottom of the ocean around the hydrothermal vents. 

Inhaling through her nose, she noticed the air had a distinct smell to it: fishy and salty and a trace of sulfur. It was so potent she could almost taste it on her tongue. 

 _Where in the hell am I?_ she wondered, unable to pinpoint how or when she’d come aboard this particular vessel. There hadn’t been any ships in the area when she jumped—none that she was aware of, at least. 

Unless…

“No.” Rey snorted, then palmed her eyes. Clearly, all the saltwater she’d consumed earlier was making her crazy. “Totally, absolutely, no—.”

“Ay, you’re awake,” the voice belonging to a man softly rasped. Rey felt her heart was going to burst out of its cage. Craning her neck, she saw the young man sitting beside her hammock on a stool, his back hunched over, a dark pine Henley with rolled-up sleeves covering his bronze skin. Half of his handsome face below a black bandana was doused in sunlight, wet curly hair glistening under its luminosity. And what remained hidden from her view was shrouded in darkness. 

With the light side, he gave her a tight-lipped, lopsided smile. “Was beginning to think you were gonna sleep for the entire day.”

 _Who are you? How did I get here?_ Her mouth was failing to keep up with the questions her brain wanted it to ask. It didn’t help that her chest felt like she had an elephant’s ass planted on it. “Where am I?” she breathed. 

“Someplace—.” He paused and bit his bottom lip, forming a frown between his brows. _Did he not know either?_ Rey was about to ask but he beat her to the finish line. “Someplace safe.” 

 _Oh._ Rey scoffed. She’d expected him to say he was a prisoner here, or suggest that she run away whenever they reached the next island chain. However, the sadness in his tone spoke for those unspoken words. Whatever the impending thoughts were in his mind, he didn’t say. 

Regardless, he seemed nice - _very,_ very nice, actually - if she were to be perfectly honest. All good looks cast aside, though, not wanting to deem herself a shallow person, he looked like somebody she could trust. In a way, he reminded her of Finn. 

“Do you remember anything?” he asked, quirking an inquisitive brow. “Your name? Where you’re from?”

One thing which surprised Rey was his apparent disregard of the fact that she was a woman. Realizing this made her feel less on edge. The faint grin she was wearing grew a smidge wider as she carefully positioned herself further upright in the hammock. “Rey. I’m Rey.”

“Rey,” he parroted. Appearing satisfied, he nodded. “Nice to meet you, Rey. I’m Poe. I must admit—finding a damsel in distress doesn’t happen that often here at sea.”

“I don’t normally make a habit of it,” she scowled.  

“Yeah. Well, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, right?” he winked. Rey felt her cheeks blush crimson. “I wish I could say I’m surprised. But since this is Armitage we’re talking about—can’t say that I am.”

“You know him?”

“Everyone knows Armitage Hux.”

Frowning, Rey stared at the worn, leather boots on her feet and folded her arms. “I wasn’t working for Hux, per se. I needed passage to the new world and someone from the crew solicited his help.” At the mentioning of Finn, she wondered if her friend was okay. She recalled noticing the sheer terror in his eyes before stepping off the plank. 

Would she ever see Finn again? _Probably not._

“America, huh?” remarked Poe. “What sort of business does America have to offer a young British girl like yourself?”

Freedom and wealth were excluded directly off the bat. The riches she sought were far more precious than anything found inside a gold mine. “My parents...We were traveling there, but I was left behind by accident on Jakku.” An idea suddenly occurred to her. Tilting her chin, she glanced expectantly at Poe. “Could you help me?”

The disappointment on his profile had Rey thinking if she had asked him to sacrifice his firstborn for some hokey religious offering than for transportation to America. “Unfortunately that’s not a decision I can make,” he said. “I’d have to take it up with the captain first.” 

 _Of course._ “Don’t tell me he hates women too,” she groaned, eliciting a derisive snort from Poe. 

“On the contrary,” he smirked. Leaning forward in the seat as Poe propped his elbows on his knees, clad in muddied brown slacks. “Though I’m not so sure it would change your opinion of him if he did offer his help.” 

A slew of questions in her head regarding Poe’s comment was silenced by an orange and white creature dropping from an above rafter, onto Rey’s midriff. Initially startled by the lean and leafy creature gaping at her for a minute, the scream lodged in her throat gradually worked its way out.

“Bee-Bee!”

“What _is_ that thing!” Rey shrieked, toppling to the ground and onto her feet after the creature lept to safety on Poe’s shoulder. She felt for the dagger she’d placed within the top hem of her trousers but discovered it was missing. _Damn it!_

“No! No no! It’s okay, he’s with me,” Poe frantically assured, his ten fingers splayed in front of him. Standing, begging her to stay calm, the deformities half-masking his complexion now bathed in golden sunlight. Noticing this, mouth open, eyes wide as a lemur’s, Rey was physically incapable of utilizing words to express her shock. 

“Rey,” he swallowed thickly. “Please, don’t freak out. I just-I was going to tell you. You had a rough night and I didn’t want to throw everything at you all at once.”

Try as she might Rey was unable to tear her eyes from the starfish and barnacles lining Poe’s face. His words were a static noise inside her eardrums. Her pulse accelerated as the implications sunk in. _Monsters. A ship composed of ocean matter. Its crew cursed and undead._ “Y-Yo-You’re—.” 

“Cursed?” Poe finished. Nodding, tentatively, his hands lowered. “It’s okay. You can say it.”

Rey blinked and slowly started to pace. In her head, she had ‘ _this can’t be real this can’t be real’_ swiftly set on repeat. “Thi-This,” she pointed a finger to the wood floor on the move, “ _this_ is the Silencer?”

Poe nodded. The tension brewing behind her temples worsened. Not only was she on another pirate ship, but she was also on a  _cursed_ pirate ship. The Silencer wasn’t a legend nor a myth - it was  _real_. Her body shuddered as a cool draft swept through the room. 

“I uh—I brought you some fresh clothes earlier.” Poe’s confession was apprehensive, as if unsure of how she’d react. Hugging herself and pressing a hand flat to her chest where the compass usually was, Rey scoffed at the clothes wadded-up in a hammock beside the one she’d been resting in. “They’re uh—They’re a tad on the damp side. But they’ll serve you well at least ‘til yours are dry.”

“My compass!” Rey stopped instantly in her tracks when she realized it was missing and glared at Poe. “I had it on me last night. Where is it?”

Poe shared a look with the creature perched on his shoulder and it—smiled? Nervously? “It’s…safe.”

“It’s  _mine_ ,” Rey hissed as she sauntered closer to him, clenching her fists and hugging herself tighter. “I need it. Where is it?”

His mouth opened but then closed right away, carting his lips into a hard frown.

“Where is it?” she repeated in a sharper tone. 

Biting his lip, Poe looked at the ground as he folded his arms. Drawing in a breath, he whispered, “The captain. The compass is with the captain.” 

Forgetting where she was for a second, Rey took a few steps closer to the pirate so when Poe lifted his eyes, they met her piercing hazels. “Take me to him.”

**

Poe wasn’t so easily swayed by Rey’s request. If Kylo Ren was anything similar to the stories she’d heard about him on the Supremacy, she was prepared to face whatever reality had to throw at her. She had a decade alone on Jakku to thank for gifting her a thick head and skin. 

How bad could the squid face be to talk to? Besides...

“I’m talking to  _you_ just fine, aren’t I?” challenged Rey, crossing her arms and jutting her chin high. Poe flinching had her thinking the phrase had come out harsher than she’d intended it to sound. As if the man were as much of a creature as the gnarly critter roosting on his shoulder. Her mouth opened to apologize but was quelled by the pirate’s retort. 

“Ren is nothing like me, Rey,” Poe solemnly explained. “Or the majority onboard here for that matter. The curse affected us all differently. And he’s...”

“So he’s moody.” Rey shrugged. 

“You have no fucking idea,” he grumbled. 

The pirate finally caved to her demand after some coaxing on Rey’s behalf, advising her to stay close while they strolled across the main deck to Kylo Ren’s cabin. She asked Poe why, and his response was a simple  _you’ll see_. A smirk following the ominous terms. 

It wasn’t until they set foot on deck when she understood what Poe had meant. 

Stories hadn’t done the magnitude of its size justice. No ship she’d ever seen at the docks could ever come close to scraping the surface if she was to compare the Silencer to another. Reaching high into a bright, cloudless sky were magnificent large sails made of seagrass than the usual white canvas. Fraying hems billowing in a gentle breeze. 

The crew, however, wasn’t as enchanting. Like the entire ship had sunk and brought an assortment of creatures up with it to the surface, albeit grotesque and mutated to the extreme. Some members favored a single aquatic species; others grafted of different features. A sea turtle head and flipper here; human limbs there. Another’s head completely detached itself at the neck and turned to face her as Rey walked past. 

No, not just any noggin, but the  _entire body_ \- legs, shell, and all - of a hermit crab formulated the pirate’s head! It took every ounce of self-control for her to not vomit what food was left inside her stomach. 

And all of them were muttering the same exact phrases amongst themselves. _It’s a girl! Is she the one?_

Too focused on escaping as her pace quickened, Rey crashed into a crew member blocking her path to the captain’s quarters. She began to say  _sorry_ , believing him to be Poe till the figure spun on a bare heel. He was undeniably the worst pirate she could have run into there. 

Blistering the pirate’s naked torso at random were engorged sacs filled with a jelly-like substance, a larger abscess significantly compromising half his face with long, slender vines draping a severely decomposed body. “Oooooooh,” he crooned. “Pretty!”

“Poe!” Rey screeched at the top of her lungs, desperately wishing she had stayed close to him than ogling at the scenery. While swiftly taking a few steps backward she nearly lost her footing on an elevated floorboard and fell before a strong hand firmly seized her arm. And those who lingered nearby went deathly quiet. 

“Capeetan,” the pirate Rey could only refer to as a horrifying jelly man mumbled slowly. 

“Since you’re apparently not busy, I have a few tasks in mind that would keep you entertained for awhile,” advised the deep baritone timbre of her savior’s voice. Aside from the fact she had heard him speak, the first detail she noticed about the pirate who had helped her was the soft sage in his hand’s pigmentation. 

She had  _not_ expected him to be the notorious Kylo Ren. 

Tales regarding Ren’s appearance hadn’t deviated far from the truth. Except he was definitely taller -  _much_ taller, in fact - bigger and broader than she’d anticipated as she steadily rose to full height beside him. The sooty tricorne hat on his head adding inches atop his towering height. Despite carrying the semblance of a squid, his voice was astonishingly rich and swoon-worthy. It awakened things inside her she immediately wanted to bury six-feet under dirt. 

The jelly man apologized incessantly and excused himself without further word from the captain. Only then did Ren loosen his hold on Rey’s arm and let her go. For some mysterious reason, beneath her layered coat and tunic, her skin tingled and burned as if he was still touching her. 

It bothered her more than she cared to admit. 

“You’ll have to forgive their crudeness. It’s been years since they’ve needed to use decent manners.” 

Ren citing the affirmative drew Rey’s attention to the captain. _How_ she saw him staring at her was baffling. Above the wriggling cephalopod appendages for a beard and plush lips were bourbon eyes with a shade of honey dappling their irises. For a pirate bearing such an abhorrent reputation, she found there was no malevolence in them as she looked closer but instead saw pools of immense anguish and despair. 

It made him look less of a monster and more human; which was a miracle of its own. She should have been appalled by him. _Should_ have been. 

So why in the fuck wasn’t she?

“Captain Ren! Captain, I uh—Oh!” Approaching at the captain’s left, seeing Rey, Poe laughed nervously. “I uh—Never mind. I see you already found her.”

Positioning his back toward Rey, all tenderness in Ren’s voice vanished as it fell menacingly low. Snarling. “I thought I had made my orders quite clear for you last night, Dameron.”

“Well, they were but—.”

“It’s not his fault!” Rey blurted out, her fingers just barely grazing the navy, barnacle-embellished fabric on Ren’s sleeve. Snapping his head from Poe to her she saw that his eyes were now black. Lifeless and predatorial. _That_ was the Kylo Ren she’d been waiting to see and yet she stood unafraid. “It’s not his fault. I gave him no choice and demanded to speak with you.”

The declaration puzzled the captain. Initially wordless he then cut Poe a sneer. “She  _gave_ you no choice? Since when do the orders of a subordinate trump a captain’s?”

Blood simmering, Rey had to bite her cheeks to refrain from spewing slurs at the captain. Sunlight catching the silvery blade of a sword holstered at Ren’s hip reminded her she preferred her head attached to her shoulders. Or his massive claw that could easily sever her neck’s vertebrae, whichever tickled his fancy most when killing. He was undead. Immortal. And she wasn’t.

Irritated, he growled. “Very well then.” 

Rey tilted her chin up and met the captain’s softening gaze. His head briskly motioned her to follow him to his cabin. Even if she was still fuming she obeyed him without quarrel. This time, she stuck close to her escort, legs working twice their normal speed in order to match his long strides. 

Envisioning bones and skulls of sea creatures littering the floor she dreaded going inside as Kylo chivalrously gestured his hand for Rey to enter first. It wasn’t too far off from the pictures her imagination had shown her, though it wasn’t necessarily unbearable either. 

Taking small steps inside Ren’s chamber, her eyes swept over its morose interior. Candles were lit by the dozens on shelves, trunks, and tall free-standing pillars alongside a desk. Seaweed was caked on the walls and draped in wet chunks. The air reeked of musk, fish and grimy ocean residue. At the rear, stationed in front of a steeple-framed window, was a pipe organ, additional pipes of gargantuan size flanking the musical instrument in tiers.

 _Did he play that?_ she mused. 

“What do they call you?” asked Kylo, passing by to her right and casting a fleeting glimpse at Rey. 

Rey blinked, his voice reminding her that she wasn’t alone. “Excuse me?”

Ren halted a few paces in front of her. “Your name,” he stated, matter of fact. 

“Oh, um—Rey.” She nodded. 

“Just Rey?”

Rey considered him. Not even the first real friend she’d had in her life had known her true identity. 

And yet…

“Turner,” she said, folding her arms. Ren’s mouth twitched.

“Well, Miss Turner,” Kylo’s stance reflected Rey’s then, his right knee cocked. “You said you’d wished to speak with me. I’m listening.”

Rey took a breath, fearing his answer. “Am I your prisoner?”

Ren’s head shook  _no_. “I’d prefer the term _guest,_ but no.” He frowned. “No, you are not a prisoner here. And you are free to come and go as you wish.” 

His response sounded sincere. Rey shut her eyes and sighed in relief. “Okay, thank you.”

“Is that all?”

Her head shook then swallowed thickly. “No, I was—I was hoping you’d help me.”

Ren quirked a hairless browline, intrigued. “Go on.”

 _Here goes nothing._ “I was on the Supremacy because I needed transport to America. My parents,” she winced, “last I knew they were headed there. That they _were_ there and I wanna find them.”

He regarded her pensively. “And now you need my help.”

Rey nodded, her expression hopeful. Ren just seemed amused. “You are aware that the Supremacy was traveling East?”

Rey scoffed. What did that have to do with her proposition? “Uh—yes?”

“So you know going East would have brought you to the European settlements then.”

Her spine bristled, scowling. “That’s impossible.”

“I’ve covered every square mile of ocean from here to the panhandle for the past ten years. I can assure you it is _not_.”

“ _Liar_ ,” she seethed. He was certainly going to have her head for lashing out, though it was hard telling considering his tone and expression never went beyond impassive. “The compass that  _you_ stole from me led me this way! Why else would it lead me East, while who I want to find is somewhere else?”

Ren grimaced, his tone breaking its callousness as he quietly said, “And did it ever occur to you that perhaps what _you_ want and what the compass knows you truly desire are two very different things?”

Her fingernails drew blood from her palms. She needed to get what she had come for and be gone. To forever be done with the Silencer and its crew and its confounding captain Kylo Ren. “Just give me the compass. It was given to me and I want it back.”

This piqued Ren’s curiosity. “By whom, may I ask?”

“That’s none of your business,” Rey hissed.

Finally, the apparition of a smirk appeared on his lips. “In that case, I’m afraid we are done here, Miss Turner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two idiots are getting along so well already, aren't they? *smirks*


	5. Seeking Common Ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I seriously can't tell you all enough how much your support and feedback on this fic means to me!! Thank you thank you thank you! I had some artwork commissioned for the story by the lovely @boomdafunk. You can check it out [HERE](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com/post/186234974225/finding-north-i-commissioned-the-amazing), but needless to say, we have a LONG way to go until they reach this point. ❤️
> 
> A huge HUGE number of thanks to my beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) and to [winglessone](https://winglessone.tumblr.com) for always being an open hear and listening to my babbles and ideas. 
> 
> Come bug me on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or here on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29). :)

Rey stormed onto the quarter deck outside of Ren’s cabin, firmly pulling the door shut behind her. Ever since she fell into the company of those onboard the Supremacy and the Silencer, she had fought to keep all of her prejudiced views regarding pirates at bay. But now, those thoughts had boiled over. 

First and foremost, her encounters with the crews increased her loathing of pirates tenfold. Save for Finn, of course. And  _maybe_ Poe.

Secondly, she absolutely  _hated_ Kylo Ren. 

Hated the incredible sex-appeal that his voice carried; hated those dark eyes that appeared to have somehow seen right through her. As if he had known something about her that she didn’t. And nothing - oh, _nothing_ \- would make her happier than slapping one of those self-righteous smirks from the captain’s face should the opportunity ever present itself again. 

_Bastard._

Reflecting on that smirk he had earlier as Ren declared their conversation over made her molars grind. It made her equally determined to get her compass back too. And one way or another, she swore she would. If she could just figure out where the captain was hiding it...

“Rey, wait up!” 

Peering over a shoulder, she saw Poe hustling toward her. Bee-Bee in tow, on his master’s shoulder _._

“I’ve had enough of you bloody pirates for one day!” she snapped. Sadly, though, she had nowhere else to go but further below deck.

“What happened?”

“Your captain is a perfidious bastard, that’s what,” she snarled, her quickening pace exhibiting no signs of slowing as the pirate hurried alongside her. 

“Alright, calm down,” assured Poe, the hand he put on her shoulder forcing her to stop and turn before reaching the stairwell. “C’mon, talk to me.”

Begrudgingly, glaring daggers, she flexed her jaw. “There’s nothing to talk about,” she huffed, slinging a hand toward the captain’s cabin. “He’s a liar and an asshole. And—.”

“Whoa whoa! Okay, hold up for a second.” Brows furrowed, Poe canted his head back like it was he she had just insulted. “The latter I can attest to there. But...a liar? Ren?”

“So, what? You’re defending him now?” she accused, planting her hands on her hips while gauging him through narrow eyes. 

 “No, I’m  _not_ defending him,” he affirmed. “Ren is a great deal of many things. Granted, he’s brutally honest to a fault and a dick sometimes, yes.”

“Honestly, even if you said he was Poseidon or Prince Charming underneath that garb, I wouldn’t care.” She sighed exasperatedly and crossed her arms. “I just want to go home!” 

They stared at one another in silence for a beat. Rey, gathering her wits, turned and ambled towards the banister, overlooking the tranquil Caribbean Sea; which dazzled like a thousand diamonds in a rock quarry under the blazing sun. 

“I’m sorry.” Rey sighed as her arms settled over the railing, a note of reserve underlining her tone. Joining her, arms drawn and folded over his chest, Poe kept quiet as she continued to speak softly. “I just want my family, and I can’t find them without the compass.” 

Poe wet his lips. “Did you try asking for his help?”

“Yes,” she replied dryly. 

“And?”

Rey snorted at that. “He didn’t give me a direct answer.” She slid a look of resignation in Poe’s direction, shrugging. “He just mocked me and insisted I didn’t know where the hell I was going. That I  _was_ going the wrong way. So then I asked for the compass to prove him wrong and he refused to give it back.”

Poe chewed on his bottom lip. “Well, I mean...He wasn’t wrong.”

Rey wrinkled her nose. “About?”

He took a sharp breath and began to explain, carefully. “When we found you last night, you were going roughly 500 miles out of your way. America is Northwest from here, Rey. Not East.” 

Blinking, she gave him a suspicious look. Noting the genuineness in his gaze, the apparent frown creasing her forehead deepened. Not because what he had said was starting to sink in, but because she realized what Kylo had told her was the truth after all. Her head started spinning with questions and she shook it in dismay. 

If the compass wasn’t leading her to America, then where was it taking her? It  _had_ to be wrong. 

“Look, I don’t know your whole story,” sighed Poe. “And you don’t have to tell me, your business isn’t mine. But maybe what you’re looking for isn’t exactly what you were meant to find.”

“It makes zero sense, though,” she scoffed. “I—I _don’t_ understand.”

“You don’t have to take my word for it,” he professed. “I’m not a philosopher or an expert in shit like that. But the universe has a way of playing things out for us. Sometimes we gotta zig-zag to get to where destiny wants us to be.” 

She quirked a small smile and lifted an eyebrow at him. “Not bad advice for a pirate.”

“I guess,” he chuckled, propping his forearms on the railing alongside Rey’s. Bee-Bee leapt down from his perch onto the empty space between the pair, parking its rear haunches there with his long, mangy tail dangling over. The creature looked from its master to Rey, centering its round primate eyes on her. _God, he really was a strange-looking thing, that Bee-Bee._ She found it hard to believe that underneath the leaves and hairless hide, was supposedly a monkey who had also fallen victim to the curse. 

“How did you get here?” asked Rey, raising her narrowed eyes to Poe. “You’re not like him - the captain, or the others.” Compared to them he was so—normal. And kind.

Poe didn’t answer right away. Lips thinly pressed, he spent a solid minute or two scrutinizing waves, lost in a painful, distant memory. “I had a choice to make,” he grimaced. “And I chose to follow my best friend to this Hell.”

Waves lapping against the hull punctuated a stone silence that fell afterward. Realizing  _who_ it was that Poe had referred to, Rey’s initial reply was a blink in disbelief. “You-You’re actually serious?”

Poe nodded. “I shit you not.”

“But he’s…”

“Ren wasn’t always a monster.” The explicit hurt in his voice made it clear that Poe and Kylo Ren were indeed friends, and withheld more history together than she could ever presume. “Be- _Kylo_.” Wincing, he cleared his throat so to hide the accidental blip before continuing. “Kylo would have given you the shirt off his back had you asked for it. Hell, you wouldn’t have needed to even ask; he would have just _done_ it.”

Learning this spurred on an entirely new line of questions for her about the captain. Pieces to an enormous puzzle that Rey had yet to comprehend. Why Poe had been so quick to avoid stating the captain’s former name. Why Kylo Ren had become so fierce when he had clearly once been a decent man. 

_Why why why?_

“Let me talk to him,” he said before Rey was able to express either query out loud. “About the compass. About you.”

Again, the pirate had her stumped for words. “I...No.” She snorted wryly. “I’ve put you through enough trouble with him this morning already.” 

However, Poe was keenly undeterred by Rey’s objection. Whether she wanted him to confront Kylo Ren on the issue or not, she was left with no other option but to accept. She spared him the tiniest of grins and whispered a heartfelt  _thanks_.

Poe clapped her lightly on the shoulder with his hand. “In the meantime, just make yourself at home.” With his chin, he gestured to his leafy compadre who was still seated on the banister rail while the pirate took a step back. “Bee-Bee here can keep you company. But as for everyone else, I can guarantee they won’t bother you. Otherwise, Ren will have himself a skeleton crew.”

Rey wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. “Should I be worried or flattered?”

He pondered the notion briefly then cracked a knowing smirk. “Let’s put it this way, _nobody_ has ever mouthed off to Kylo Ren and survived. But for you, he made an exception.”

**

Inside the captain’s chamber, seated on the bench at his grand organ, Kylo Ren was facing his own dilemma concerning Rey. Not a single note was played since her dismissal minutes earlier. A rarity of its own as music had been his sole means of comfort during most trying days onboard the Silencer. 

It wasn’t a secret that the compass would one day lead him to the cure for breaking his curse; he just hadn’t expected  _her_ to be the one. Discovering both the compass and the cure the same night on his ship was something he never expected would happen. Although it wasn’t until he made the connection earlier that morning when he thought it was all too good to be true. 

He didn’t deserve to have it so easily - didn’t deserve  _her_. He didn’t deserve to be shown such mercy by whichever god or goddess had granted it to him then. Some of the things he had done in the past were unspeakable. Unforgivable. Who could have possibly found him worthy of forgiveness and sent this girl to him?  

To be frank, his reaction had been close to Rey’s. It  _had_ to be a mistake. 

He’d been on the forecastle deck shortly after dawn, a longer front tentacle holding the compass up before him to see. Where its needle had immediately settled on North the previous night, it was instead erratic. Not one direction favored. 

Then, it froze the second North emerged below, on the top deck, frazzled by the crew. 

North was a woman with auburn hair and freckles peppering suntanned, rosey cheeks, and the most beautiful hazel eyes Ren had ever seen. The girl named Rey had an English accent he could have listened to for hours when she spoke to him. And she looked at him in a way that nobody else had, without repugnance or fear. He hadn’t deserved that either. 

But damn it, if it didn’t make him want her even more! 

Not because she was the answer to ending a decade of suffering, her kindness had reminded him there was good in humanity. That perhaps he did have a soul worth saving. Cause in that split second when she looked at him that way, she had made him feel things Ren shouldn’t have felt with the emptiness inside him. Things that normally would have made his heart go pitter-patter and flutter inside his rib cage; he was almost certain he had felt the illusion of a heartbeat skipping once or twice. 

However, wooing her without Ben Solo’s heart and charm - his charm more than anything - was him performing the impossible. He had to work with what Kylo Ren was capable of achieving, which, to no avail, had also pissed her off. He’d ordered her around as he did members of his crew than treating her as his potential lover. As his  _equal_ than his subordinate. 

Christ, he was doomed…

Knuckles rapping abruptly at his cabin door pulled Ren from his reverie. For a moment, his hopes had him thinking it was Rey returning to scold him again. Was that such a bad thing to wish for, so long as it meant she wasn’t completely ignoring him? 

God damn it, this girl was making him pathetic without her even knowing it!

His expression sobered when it was his first mate who revealed himself as Ren’s visitor. That budding heat of desire to see her again, if only for a second, dissipated to a hard mass of bitter disappointment. “What is it, Dameron?” he sneered.

Wordless as his boots scuffled across the wood floorboards, Poe didn’t utter a word till he was next to a floor sconce supporting a lit candle, a few paces from where the captain was seated. Within candlelight, the vibrant reds and oranges on his starfish sparkled as embers would of a freshly kindled flame in the stark shadows. “It’s about Rey,” rasped Poe.

“There’s nothing to discuss,” Ren retorted icily. 

“Not according to her,” Poe quipped, unfazed by the captain’s foul mood. “Why didn’t you let her have the compass?”

“Bold of you to assume that I need to explain what happened between myself and the girl.”

“Last I remember my best friend told me everything before he was captain of this hell ship.”

Ren had no immediate comeback for Poe. True, they had been best friends on Jakku. They’d experienced just about everything a boy typically underwent during adolescence together, including the ups and downs of courting women plus some. Brothers of different parentage, they’d called themselves. 

And then, such as the way of all good things in life, all of it had changed throughout their decade of service on the Silencer, as corruption began corroding the space where Ren’s heart had been. Before he became cold and detached himself from anything and everything he’d ever cared about. 

Then, along came Rey, and his world was irrevocably turned right-side-up after years of dangling upside down.

“Why does it matter?” Ren murmured coolly. “She’ll never find who she’s looking for. Best not give her hope when there is none.”

Poe grunted. “Don’t you think it’s only fair you let her discover the truth herself? Rather than - say - holding her hostage?”

Ren sneered at him and rose from the organ bench. “I told her she was free to leave, she’s under no obligation to stay here.” In actuality, it was complete and utter horseshit and a total power play on Ren’s behalf when he’d said that to Rey. Had his claw ground any harder as his fist tightly balled, its exterior shell would have cracked. “If she believes she’s a prisoner here, then that’s of her own doing.” 

Tenacious in his task, Poe followed him closely as Ren stomped away. “You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?” he scolded. “You think by withholding the compass she’ll have no choice but to stay here with you.”

Ren spun in his tracks, causing a near collision with Poe. “Ten years,” he hissed. “I’ve waited  _ten years_ to find this girl and you’re foolish to think I should encourage her to pursue hopeless aspirations on land? There’s a significant chance that she may never come back after she sets foot on that soil and _both_ of us are fully aware that I can’t follow her.” 

Poe softened his approach. “The compass brought her to you,” he reasoned, not once buckling under the captain’s intense scrutiny. “She’ll figure that out eventually. But in the meantime, you have 500-miles to prove why Ben Solo is worth her staying at sea. And the Ben I know would never back down from a challenge.”

Ren scowled. “Ben Solo was killed when I ripped his heart out.”

“And yet you still feel something for her, don’t you? All you accomplished after removing your heart was lessening the impact that emotions have over you. But that light - it’s always been in you. It’s never gone away, and so long it’s there you _still_ have hope.”

Ren curled his upper lip and snarled at Poe. His first mate was right and the irritant was wholly aware that Ren knew it. Of all the petty reasons why the captain hated him through the years, nothing made him seeth more than accepting his first mate had his conscience securely fastened by the balls. 

And he hated Poe for actually wanting to listen to what he had to say next. “Fine. What do you suggest I should do then?”

Poe grinned at him slyly. “What you’d normally do when you wish to win a fair lady’s heart. You ask her to dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think she'll say yes?? I mean, canonically, Rey is a _very_ forgiving person. So, maybe... *toothy grin* And for those who have followed my other stories, ya'll need to give me a pat on the back for not making Poe an asshole for once!


	6. Food for Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys were anxious for this chapter. I couldn't keep you all waiting! You guys continue astonishing me with the amount of love and support you've given me for this story. It's gonna be a rollercoaster and I'm certain we'll all be needing the support. <3
> 
>  **Note:** I had mentioned in a previous chapter that Han was a pirate, this has been ratified and I don't know what I was thinking when I originally wrote him that way. 
> 
> I wanna thank my wonderful beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) for being so awesome as always. And another thanks for my friend [winglessone](https://winglessone.tumblr.com) for always putting up with me and helping me with ideas for the story. 
> 
> Come bug me on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29)!

Daylight passed quickly into early nightfall. Hues of reds and oranges tinted blue skies as the sun settled in the west. Rey hadn’t seen such a breathtaking sunset since before her time on the Supremacy. Here, though, onboard the Silencer, she had the liberty to roam about freely. 

She had missed watching the sunset. Missed watching the water turn to liquid fire as the sun sank lower and lower into the horizon. Even if those minutes were spent onboard a ship that was crewed by the damned. 

Poe had been true to his word when he’d said that the crew wouldn’t pester her. But it didn’t prevent them from sliding those curious looks at her when she’d strolled past them earlier, with Bee-Bee claiming her left shoulder as his new perch. Such inquiring minds reminded her that beneath the beastly garb, they were men. Human. Bearing the very same flesh and blood as her. 

Thankfully, their gawking was as far as her engagement with the crew had gone as Rey worked her way back down to the crew quarters, waiting for Poe there instead. 

 _Waiting. Always waiting for someone,_ she’d surmised. She’d spent five days on the Supremacy hiding out on the bottom decks. As a _man,_  nonetheless. So what was a few minutes more? At least Poe hadn’t kept her waiting for as long as her parents had. 

When the pirate returned moments later, Kylo Ren was the last person she’d expected to see tagging along with him. Poe took his leave quietly, giving the pair some privacy. That was when the bull was freed of its enclosure, hell-bent on skewering whoever was waving the crimson rag at center field. And she began hurling every insult known to the history of man-kind then at the captain. A ‘pinheaded, anarchistic asshole’ being one of the few choice phrases she’d let slip. 

Not a word was spoken by the captain when the barrage ended. His impassiveness veiling all evidence of anger or humility. Plotting her death, perhaps. A merciful beheading or something more excruciating, like keelhauling. _Or_ maybe, he had been contemplating her words.

Either way, she never did find out what had been going through his mind. _Somehow_ she’d underestimated the captain’s reply. Again, by a long-shot. There was no order for her execution. No reprimand for her unbridled behavior. There was only him asking her if she’d have dinner with him that evening. 

Briefly, she’d forgotten she was even pissed at him. It could have been the softness in his tone that rendered her speechless for a moment, or how his voice strained when he’d proceeded to say  _please._ His tender brown eyes begging that she spare him more minutes of her precious time. To offer him a second chance to redeem himself.

God, she hated him. Hated him down to the very last grain of fiber her body harbored inside. Hated it was  _she_ who should have apologized to him first since he’d been right about America. In fact, she couldn’t say who was more stunned by her answering  _yes._

The word had come out unbidden. So effortlessly. As if she had actually meant for it to happen. _Traitor_. She felt like a god damned traitor to her own person. She had almost been too ashamed to follow through. So much she’d spent the afternoon chastising herself for having crumbled so easily. Had it not been for her stomach pangs reminding her that she hadn’t eaten since the previous morning, she would have sought him out and declined his offer. 

_Traitor..._

As dinner time approached, crew members gradually trickled downstairs to the barracks on the Silencer’s third deck, a man lingering in the crow’s nest to hold watch for enemy ships. Rey, however, made the short yet seemingly mile-long trek, bow to stern, toward Kylo Ren’s cabin as promised.

She’d changed her attire to the clothing Poe had supplied her with that morning: an off-shaded white shirt with long sleeves, a V-neck collar, and frilled around the wrists; fitted umber brown slacks with three gold fasteners running up the front; a vest that practically reached her knees in darker rust. Foregoing the make-do breast-band so to show she was a woman beneath the masculine garb. Her shoulder-length, almond hair hanging loose in soft waves. 

She’d never been so relieved to feel feminine again. 

Thrice, she knocked on Ren’s cabin door. As she waited, she caught the sound of a blowhole belonging to one of few gray whales traveling alongside the Silencer, releasing stale oxygen and inhaling new. It was comforting when her nerves were relentlessly churning. The temptation to turn around and dine with the crew below grew substantially the longer she was made to wait outside. 

Just as she was about to cave in, the door opened. 

Rey hadn’t been the only one who’d undergone a wardrobe change. Ren’s undershirt was a mere replica of hers, but bigger, puffier in the sleeves. A wide, leather belt furnishing a ridiculously large buckle fastened around his waist, over a navy mid-thigh length vest, and brown slacks. Less stuffy and regal, more relaxed. Not quite a captain but more of a commoner she would’ve run into on Jakku, minus the tentacle beard and claw obviously. 

If she had to be honest, he looked...nice. 

“Miss Turner,” Ren greeted, low and amicably. Amused, even. She wondered then if her gaping had been that explicit for him to notice. 

Although it was  _how_ he’d said her name that bothered Rey, more than his awareness of her staring. He never ceased to make her body react so shamefully. She hated how easily he made her feel that way. Hated how sleekly his voice moved inside her, through her belly, before nestling itself cozily between her legs. It was driving her mad. 

God, it’s  _just dinner, Rey. Eat his damn food, then go!_

“Captain,” she breathed, her reply resonated airily. Blaming her parched mouth and lips on having not consumed anything liquid in a day. 

Then, she swore she saw him smile. Not the cocky kind of smile she’d witnessed that morning, but one she couldn’t quite place her finger on its meaning. No sooner than she saw it, it was gone in an instant.  

 _It could’ve been nothing_ , she supposed. She certainly wasn’t going to study his mouth any longer than she already had; which was merely a pouty bottom lip below a long tentacle that served for a mustache above his top lip. 

Ren stepped aside, providing a passage wide enough for Rey to enter the cabin, her shoulder narrowly grazing his vest. Little had improved within the interior since she was there last. There was, however, a lovely table, prepared for two, in the middle of the chamber. She tried focusing more on the assortment of food than dwelling on how intimate the setting looked. 

Neatly arranged at the center of the table was a trio of candles: a small candle beside one of moderate height, the tallest candle behind them. Bread loaves were alongside large, cherry wood serving bowls filled with an array of colorful fruits and vegetables. On a silver platter, was a freshly broiled fowl, steam still rising from its golden skin. And twin, pewter goblets sat directly across from each other, in front of two dinner plates and high-backed wooden chairs. 

Just eyeballing the food made her dry mouth salivate. 

Rey couldn’t remember ever seeing such fine dining like this in her life. And for once there were no biscuits, housing larvae, on the menu. “No hardtacks,” she sighed. Try as she might, she couldn’t resist beaming at that, claiming the closest chair as Ren took the seat opposite hers.

“Pardon?” Ren grimaced. 

“Oh, it’s just not what I was expecting from a mon—.” She cut herself off as she realized what she had almost called him, her round eyes, tentatively, perceiving his. The term _monster_ had always been commonly used for Ren and his immortal crew. Right now, he looked like a monster who had just been stabbed in the heart, before his expression steeled. “I mean, what I meant was from someone who’s de—.”

“I’ve been called worse things in my life, Miss Turner,” Ren sneered. “I know what I am. What I don’t need is your pity.”

Rey pursed her lips. “I  _don’t_ pity you,” she countered sharply, hazels locked on brown. Here they were, fighting, and it was barely two minutes into the damn meal. “I’ve not been here for a full day yet and I’m still trying to process all of this. You’re definitely not making it easier for me!”

Ren fell silent; the tension in the air so thick a knife was required to slice it while one intently studied the other. He’d proven to her on multiple occasions throughout the course of an entire afternoon that he was capable of granting her clemency. This time, she was pretty sure she had pushed her luck with the Silencer’s captain. 

Because nobody could ever be  _that_ patient, right? Not even Rey could be so kind as to tolerate that many insults. 

Nope. Again, she was dead wrong. 

Ren broke from her gaze, stretching a long, front tentacle for his goblet on the table and brought it to his mouth, tasting its content. She stared at him, baffled beyond speaking terms. Her words received as if she were a toddler and had simply smacked him in the face with mud pies she’d created in her backyard. She yearned for him to respond to her as a normal man should. Furious. Annoyed. But asking for either of those emotions from the captain was like extracting teeth.  

Defeated, she sighed, blindly snatching an apple out of the fruit bowl before helping herself to a chicken leg and a sizeable portion of raw vegetables. Ren waited till she was finished, then served himself. Eating in the company of silence was nothing new to her. A decade of living alone had her used to having nobody to casually chit-chat with. So long as her belly was being filled she really didn’t care, and the present shouldn’t have deterred that mind frame of hers. 

The chicken meat was so moist it practically peeled right off the bone. The fruit wasn’t rotten or moldy or remotely close to expiring; the vegetables were crisp and seemed to have been freshly dug up from the garden and washed. Her brain should have been focusing on the fact she was eating all this delectable food on a cursed ship rather than pondering what made the pirate captain sitting across from her tick. 

But one couldn’t just simply  _talk_ with Kylo Ren. 

She figured it was the perfect time to give the dark red beverage inside her own goblet a try to alleviate the urge. Keeping her mouth busy in other ways was better than igniting the spark of another skirmish. Her brain ascended to a whole different level of bliss the second her tastebuds were lathered in its fruity tartness.

It was absolutely delightful. 

“Is the wine to your liking?” asked Ren. If it hadn’t been for the alcohol putting her body at ease, her shoulders flinching in response to hearing him speak may have been fairly more noticeable. 

Nodding, Rey hummed a _yes_ into the goblet as she acquired a second taste. “It’s delicious,” she confessed, timidly. “I’ve never tried it before.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“Yeah, well, Jakku doesn’t offer those who are underprivileged a lot of time to indulge when you’re barely getting by,” she frowned, resting her elbow on the table, glass in hand.

“I see,” he mused. With his human hand, Ren reached for a grape from his plate and popped it into his mouth. “I take it you didn’t work at a brothel, then?” 

She scoffed at him. “I wasn’t going to sell myself to get by, only to get saddled with a child like so many of the women I’ve seen. And the way men often treat them? Far better off to make due elsewhere. I always liked to think my self-preservation was worth much more than that.”

Ren hesitated in his chewing, tentacles stilling, and he looked at her as if she’d confessed to committing treason. Swallowing, his mouth quirked slyly. “In all fairness, we all have our means for survival, Miss Turner,” he drawled, his voice coming off polished and smooth as he leaned back in his chair, his clawed appendage lounging on the table while propping the other’s elbow on the chair arm. “Whatever helps keep food on the table and clothing on our backs.”

“Nothing is worth losing your dignity,” Rey pridefully retorted, scowling. “But I suppose prostitution is a better alternative to piracy.”

Ren grunted. “Ironically, there was a time I would have agreed with you.”

Rey eyed him skeptically. “You?” She snorted, lifting a brow. “Captain of the Silencer against piracy?”

He nodded. Noting his browline puckering, she realized he was actually serious. “My father was an admiral in the Jakku navy,” he affirmed softly, tapping his claw tip on the tabletop pensively. “And my mother—,” he paused, “my mother had spent her entire life immersed in politics. Their priority clearing the Caribbean of pirates, and for a while it was peaceful. Not perfect, but—better than now.” 

Curiosity piqued, Rey set her goblet down and folded her arms in front of her on the table, leaning in closer, her eagerness to learn of the captain’s background soaring. “So what happened?”

Ren worked his mouth. He looked at her again with the same emotion in his eyes as he’d had that morning. Grief - _so_ much grief she may as well have been swimming in their anguish. And ultimately, laden with regret. “I had just been promoted to captain,” solemnly he began to explain. “We celebrated late that morning before the Silencer came. Before  _he_ came - Snoke - the previous captain here. Long story short, he captured my father. Imprisoned him.” His expression darkened. “Wanting to set an example that pirates, even if forbidden to come on land, can still hold control over the islands. I went after Snoke. I killed him. And here I fucking am.”

Rey blinked, her mind reassessing the details from Finn’s story about a man who’d been held captive by the Silencer’s former captain, and was rescued by his son. Kylo Ren was the son who had sacrificed himself to save his father. How had she not connected the dots sooner? 

“You,” she gasped, an index directed at Ren, “ _You’re_ Han Solo’s son?”

Ren sneered. “I _used_ to be.” 

She frowned. “But why Kylo Ren if your real last name is Solo?”

“Being a pirate is one thing, but a captain here?” he snarled. “It’s a disgrace and I respected my father enough to not tarnish his image.” 

“But you also saved your father,” assured Rey. “Wouldn’t that make you a hero too?”

“A hero.” He smirked. “Is that what they’re calling me nowadays?”

Rey tucked her bottom lip beneath an incisor. “Well, no…?”

“Then I’m afraid your point is moot, isn’t it.” Ren shrugged.

Sighing, Rey reclined back in her seat. There  _had_ to be a way to reach him, a way to make him understand that all hope wasn’t lost for him. That his honor was still worth salvaging. Maybe - just maybe - in the midst of sorrow, there was a method to end this wretched curse. “It’s a curse, right? An ailment inflicted by magic, which means there has to be a counteractant. A cure.”

Ren nodded. “Yes,” he rasped, his timbre abysmal. “There is one.”

Learning this brightened her spirit. “There is? What is it then?”

“That’s none of your concern.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “There’s a bloody way to end this curse out there and you’d rather close yourself off and sulk?” Without thinking twice, she rolled forward on her seat and laid her hand on the bottom ledge of Ren’s pincher, knowing he could very easily shatter her bones should his claw snap shut. Ren, however, was taken off-guard by the gesture and seemed too bewildered to move. “I  _want_ to help you,” she whispered.

They remained in that position for some odd minutes. Her thumb pad stroking the blunt ridges lining Ren’s claw absent-mindedly. His blown pupils similar to a feral tomcat experiencing touch for the first time. 

“It is not your burden,” said Ren assertively, shaking his head and retrieving his claw from her grasp. “Forget it. End of discussion.”

Rey groaned. “Look, this is stupid.” Drawing her arms to her chest, she sat back again in her chair. “If you’re not willing to accept my help, or help _me_ for that matter, then just give me my compass and I’ll be gone.”

“And who do you suppose will come to save you?” he snapped.

Her mouth dropped open, his words puncturing her heart like a thousand barbs had been fired from a canon all at once. It shouldn’t have hurt and she tried telling herself he was wrong. Admitting that though was no different than Ren refusing to see he was still the hero who had saved his father. 

She was alone, on a ship, with a man as equally lost in the same cruel world as she. 

“Rey…”

Sniffing, she blinked away the unshed, hot tears prickling behind her eyes, meeting his. Within their darkness, she saw remorse for what he had done. She should’ve been angry with him. Hating him. And yet, she found herself pitying him. 

“Rey,” he winced. “I’m so—.”

She raised her palm, amazed that his lips froze mid-apology. “You know,” she murmured after a beat, “changing your name doesn’t change who you are inside. You’re still your father’s son. And I think your father would be heartbroken if he knew how much of a heartless bastard his son has become.”

Ren kept quiet. She knew by the way he stared her down that she’d struck a chord somewhere inside him. Had it been earlier in the night, she might have cared to ask him why before excusing herself quietly from the table. The instant she was outdoors, breathing in the salty summer breeze, the dam she’d built up behind her eyes finally broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!! *cries* I promise Kylo is trying and being heartless isn't making this necessarily easy on him. But it had to happen and it will start getting better here real soon. <3 Promise!! And no, Rey does _not_ know that Kylo is actually missing his heart.
> 
> I may be a little bit slower with the next update. I have a busy week ahead of me but I'm gonna try to keep it within my 2-week update period. :)


	7. A Game of Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does contain depictions of torture in the first section. Please do mind the newly updated tags or kindly skim over the last few paragraphs in the first scene!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shew, this chapter was...rough. But I managed to write it all within my 2-week goal! **Warning:** As I stated in the summary, please be mindful of the story's newly updated tags if violence makes you uncomfortable. These are pirates so...Anywho, as always, your comments mean the world to me and there's things in this chapter I would love to hear your thoughts on!! 
> 
> A massive thank you again to my wonderful beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) and to [winglessone](https://winglessone.tumblr.com) for being my cheerleader through this chapter. <3 
> 
> Come bug me here on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29).

It was late evening when the Supremacy came into the harbor in Jakku. At this hour, the port was empty. Nearby lodges and shops were dark inside, their occupants either sleeping or relishing a cold brew at the pub. Time-wise, it was perfect for the pirates to slip in and out quietly if they desired to. 

And that was precisely what Captain Armitage Hux intended to do.   

“Sh-Should I inform the crew of an overnight stay, sir?” Mitaka wearily asked. Having returned empty-handed to Jakku after spending the last several months combing every island in the Caribbean for the compass, he hoped that the captain would give them one night on land to rest. 

But alas, the captain considered differently. 

To Hux, when the ocean was permanently rid of Kylo Ren, there would be plenty of time for rest. By slaying the Silencer’s current captain, Hux would be given full authority over the ship that he had been second in command of before its rightful commander - Snoke - was killed. _Before_ Kylo Ren came aboard and stole everything from him. 

His aspirations, gone. The power, gone. _Everything_ he had ever worked towards was gone. 

It was a secret that not even Mitaka was aware of. None of his crew members knew, in fact. He figured it was best that way. The fewer questions he was made to answer about his affiliations with Kylo Ren and the Silencer, the better off he would be. 

Regarding the shadowy bags beneath Mitaka’s eyes, Hux fluttered his wrist and rejected the query without additional thought. “Nonsense, this won’t take long,” the captain stated haughtily, his lips cracking a sinister grin. “We’re just paying an old friend a quick visit.”

Mitaka nodded, his shoulders slumping. Clearly disappointed, the first mate knew better than to protest his captain’s orders. He’d dutifully accompany Hux to the end of the world if it were flat and jump should the captain tell him to. Actually, _all_ of them onboard the Supremacy would if he’d ever ask. 

With their unshakable loyalty, surely he’d be unstoppable once they procured that sweet taste of immortality. How it felt to live without ever fearing death. But there was still one particular crew member that the captain was a little uncertain of.

Striding out onto the quarterdeck from his cabin, Hux immediately spotted the crew member in question, hauling a barrel across the main deck below on his shoulder toward the rear stairwell entrance. “Finnegan!” he shouted, crisply. 

Finn stopped short and spun on his heel, perceiving Hux while the captain descended the quarterdeck stairs. Seeing it was indeed the captain who had addressed him, the pirate sat the barrel down on the floor and hastily met his superior midway. “Yes, sir?” 

“You are relieved of your duties for the evening,” the captain affirmed, smirking. “You will be coming ashore with us.”

Finn and Mitaka blinked at him, puzzled. It was definitely unlike the captain to request anyone who wasn’t the first mate to attend such an important meeting with him. But Hux had his reasons, for which he wasn’t about to disclose to either of them. 

Besides, it was time that he gave the rookie a proper induction to piracy. To introduce him to a world beyond sailing around the ocean, seeking a treasure of particular interest. Or building friendships, as Finn had previously displayed with the girl. That simply wouldn’t do for those wanting to stay aboard  _his_ ship. Pirates were a class of men that were meant to be feared. Outlaws who answered to no government or law but to the will of their captain. Qualified to take anything from anyone—no matter the cost. 

And Hux was fully aware that there was  _always_ a price.

The trio departed from the Supremacy, Finn dawdling a few paces behind the captain and Mitaka as they walked the deserted streets of Jakku. Illuminating the blackness with their golden light were the lanterns hanging outside doorways. A dog barking occasionally broke the stillness of a fairly cool evening.

Hux escorted the two men to a corner building not far from the port, a weathered sign that read _Pawn Shop_ in bold, red letters hung from its awning overhead. Touching a hand to its doorknob, Hux pivoted at the waist and aimed a stern finger at Finn. “Not a word of what you might hear tonight is to be repeated to anyone,” the captain warned in a hushed voice. “Do I make myself clear?”

Finn swallowed dryly, nodding. “Yes, sir,” he whispered.

The captain held his gaze for another minute. Seeing that he had no reason not to trust this man, Hux peeled his eyes away and gave the doorknob an experimental twist. Unlocked. _Ah, brilliant,_ he crooned, a wolfish grin playing on his lips. And here he had expected Maz to be more cautious. 

A bell chimed above as the captain nudged the door open and stepped inside, leaving it ajar for Mitaka and Finn to follow. What bit of light there was from the outdoors revealed a narrow pathway, clear of clutter, leading to a beaded curtain at the far back where a light had flickered on. A faint pair of footsteps scuffing along the wood floorboards resounded over their boots, then the petite figure of Maz Kanata appeared; one hand clutching the front of her knitted shawl, covering the shoulders of her peasant gown, a candle in her other hand. 

“What in God’s name I’m clo—.” Her rant ended there upon meeting Hux’s glare. Pinching her lips, the old woman’s bowed posture straightened. “ _Armitage_ ,” she hissed.

Hux chuckled. “Don’t look so surprised to see me, Maz,” he preened, hands clasped behind him as he moved a couple of steps closer to her. “Though I must confess, it has been a long time.” 

Maz tilted her chin, cutting to the point. “What do you want?” 

Hux considered her. “You know what I’ve come for,” he answered furtively.

The old woman’s gaze flitted to the two men standing quietly behind him, observing them momentarily. “We had an accord,” said Maz, her attention veering to Hux. “And I upheld my end of the bargain, as promised. If it is the compass you are looking for, you will not find it here.”

“Well if it isn’t here, then perhaps you could be so kind as to tell me  _where_ it is,” he implored flatly.

“I am all out of favors for you, Armitage,” countered Maz, her tone absent of remorse. “I freed you of the curse, and my services will _not_ be extended.”

His patience with the old woman was draining rapidly. No thanks to Maz, there were now two sets of eyes drilling into the back of his skull. Deciding he would deal with the repercussions of that later, he began to pace toward Maz, circling her as a predator would while gauging its prey. “Need I remind you, you too would still be a prisoner to the sea had I not offered you freedom,  _witch_ ,” he seethed. “You and I, we have a lot more in common than you think.”

Maz peered out of her peripheral at him as the captain strolled passed. “You may be human, but you will  _always_ be a monster,” she grimaced, a gentle breeze from his movement causing her candle’s flame to waver. “I am nothing like you.”

Smug, Hux chuckled. “Ah, except that is where you are wrong,” he taunted, pausing a few paces shy of Maz’s right side peripheral. “You wanted this, too— _freedom_. So much you forgot it was the young Solo boy that you left wallowing in your spell’s aftereffects, did you not?” Tsking, his head shook disapprovingly. “How incredibly selfish of you.”

Despite her small size, Maz stood tall, refusing to repent. “Ben Solo wasn’t born into darkness, unlike that wretched captain of yours. It was love that drove him into Snoke’s snare. It is because of love that his heart remains pure. He has every ingredient he needs to save himself.”

Hux sneered at the curved blade of a dagger he had drawn from his belt. “That’s touching and all, but you’re forgetting that his heart is also his greatest weakness.” 

Maz whirled on her toes to face him. He caught that fleeting glint of fear within her brown orbs before it vanished behind a neutral mask. A wicked grin spawned on his lips then. “Yes, I’m afraid that Ren’s heart on land leaves him quite vulnerable when he has no means of protecting it himself.”

Her upper lip curled ferally. “Nothing makes a person more vulnerable in this world than simply being human,” she supplied, an ominous cast to her voice. “And you - Armitage - you have many enemies nowadays. It seems fitting that mortal death is the price you will pay for your atrocious sins.”

His hand shot up without warning, grabbing Maz by the neck and driving her against the closest wall, sending the gadgets hanging there crashing to the ground. Her breath hitched in her throat as a startled cry escaped the old woman’s lungs. She dropped the candle to force him off but his grip stayed strong.

“I can be a reasonable man, Maz,” he purred, lowering his face so it was mere inches in line with hers. “The way I see it, this can end in either two different ways. One, you tell me where the compass is and I’ll spare your life. Two—.” Raising his dagger, he pressed its razor-sharp edge to her cheek, its pointed tip directly beneath her left eye. “Or two, I kill you. And when I find the compass, I’ll kill Ben Solo too. Either way, I win. But it would be so much easier for me in the long run if you would cooperate.”

“I—,” Maz panted, her body trembling feverishly. “I...am _not..._ giving you anything.”

His fingers constricted around her throat; his dagger drawing blood as he pressed it harder to her skin; however, the torture didn’t end there. Down, down, slowly, he dragged the blade, the incision marking her cheek all the way to her jaw. Maz clenched her eyes, suppressing a sob as her top molars clamped down on her bottom lip. “Where is the compass?” he snarled.

Silence followed his query, save for the old woman’s labored breaths growing steady as Maz slipped into a deep, meditative trance in spite of the pain he had forced her to endure. Confused, he stared at her smile blooming in place of the frown on her disfigured face. 

When she opened her eyes, they burned embers of defiance. “The compass is precisely where it should be,” she calmly reported. “Now, it is only a matter of time. And Armitage, this will be a fight that _you_ cannot win.”

He released her instantly. As her frail body, helplessly, fell to the floor, Hux staggered on his soles, distancing himself from Maz as if being within minimal proximity of her would cause him to burst into flames. Had the warning derived from anyone else, he might have considered the woman crazy and ordered her beheading right then. 

However, Maz was no ordinary old woman. She had been a goddess of the sea. Gifted powers beyond any living sentient’s comprehension, foresight included. She had seen the compass; she had seen it was with Kylo Ren. 

“S-Sir?” Mitaka nervously chirped. “Is everything alright?”

Hux’s fingers curled around the dagger so tightly that the inscription on its handle was likely engraved now on his palm. “I know where the compass is,” muttered Hux. Turning, he bolted past Finn and Mitaka without providing a further explanation for his quick departure. 

Too set in his tunnel vision, the captain failed to notice it was Mitaka and himself who returned to the Supremacy. 

**

Across the ocean, onboard the Silencer, Rey was struggling in her hammock to find sleep. It had been a few evenings since the botched dinner with Kylo. She hated to admit, it affected her in so many ways she had actually lost count. Not because of his hurtful remark at the end, it was all she had learned of the captain beforehand that kept the gears inside her head spinning. 

During those seemingly infinite daytime hours, in a vain effort to avoid the captain when she wasn’t busy counting sheep, she made herself useful on lower decks, maintaining upkeep as she had done on the Supremacy. Although she couldn’t say who was trying their hardest to avoid the other. No matter when she visited the upper deck, Kylo’s cabin door was always locked. She knew this because Poe told her so. 

Rey wanted to make amends with the captain. She was on  _his_ ship, after all. Eating his food. Dining with his crew. Breathing the same fresh air as him. However, in the same note, what could she say that would begin to make things right with him?

She contemplated who the man was behind the tentacles. What the man who had once called himself the son of Han Solo looked like. Did he have dark skin or was it creamy as coconut milk? Was his hair short or long? And whether or not it would be possible for him to ever be that man again should she uncover the remedy to his curse. Ren had insisted that he didn’t want her help, but she was still torn. 

What if she could help them both? Could the compass help her find  _two_ thingsher heart desired instead of one? It sounded plausible. In order to do that, she needed the compass, which had been confiscated by the captain days ago... _Ugh! Damn him._

If it wasn’t her mind keeping her awake late at night, it was the haunting pipe organ music seeping through the rafters. Beautiful yet depressing. A piece she envisioned hearing at a funeral. Someone who was mourning. She dared not let herself think it was her that Ren was grieving over. It was utterly absurd and selfish. She was a nobody. A nothing. 

He’d reminded her of that during dinner, in so many words.

Cutting her losses with sleep, she rolled out of her hammock before the music drove her madder than it already had. It was pointless, the melody was louder above deck than it had been down below. Under the ledge of the quarterdeck’s overhang, a candle their lone source of light, crew members huddled around a small table were too busily engaged in their game of dice to notice the madness pouring out of the cabin above them. Or Rey.

Intrigued, leaning her shoulder against the wide base of a mast, she watched them. Studying their moves. Relying on her poor lip-reading skills to determine the game’s strategy.

“Fancy seeing you up here so late,” uttered Poe flippantly, standing with his arms crossed beside her. “Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

Rey spared him a weary smile. “Couldn’t sleep,” she replied, sighing, mimicking his pose. “What are they playing?”

“Liar’s Dice,” he affirmed. “Easy means of entertainment when nothing else can make the time here fly.”

Rey nodded. “I see,” she hummed, thinking. “So it’s a game of deception.” 

“Basically.”

She snickered, amused by the pirates’ source of entertainment, calling one another out on each other’s bullshit. 

“Except in Liar’s Dice, you’re playing  _all_ the dice,” Poe continued, cutting into her train of thought. “Not just your own.”

Rey nodded. “What do they wager?” she asked, glancing at Poe. 

His brows furrowed. “The only thing we do have.” Grimacing, Poe met her inquisitive gaze. “Our years of service.”

She worried her bottom lip. “Can anyone play?”

He nodded. “Yep.”

“And anything goes?”

Another nod. Rey grinned, her inner lightbulb upstairs finally clicking on. “Well, then,” she announced, bristling with newfound confidence, “I wish to challenge Kylo Ren.” 

Silence. Awkward, deafening. As if a bomb of epic size had been dropped on Earth and she was the planet’s sole survivor. Only it wasn’t Rey absorbing the crew’s attention. 

Not a peep was heard as Kylo Ren stepped off the stairwell’s bottom stoop, his dark bourbon eyes solely trained on Rey. His steps measured and precise as he lumbered towards her, presenting himself in a manner she deemed too regal for a pirate. 

Kylo stopped in front of her, cocking his head, his gaze swung to the crew then again to Rey. He was close, so close she could have reached out and touched his face, a tentacle, a bronze button on his barnacle-embellished jacket if she had wanted to. From this angle in the moonlight, his irises were a shade dimmer and glazed. He looked—exhausted. She couldn’t say why that alone made her heart sink.

“Name your terms, Miss Turner,” he commanded, his voice low yet surprisingly gentle.  

Rey inhaled through her nose. “One round,” she replied. “If I win, you give me the compass.”

Ren considered this, lifting a browline. “And if I win?”

Her perception fell to her hands, fidgeting with a loose thread on her vest. “Me,” she whispered. “You can have me.”

“You…” Ren parroted, scoffing. “You would bargain your soul for a compass?”

Rey peered up at him. “It’s all that I have.” 

Kylo winced, studying her reluctantly. Rey held her breath, convinced he was going to say no. His response, however, was remarkably the polar opposite. “Very well,” he muttered.  _How_ he had said it though she knew he was clearly not pleased. 

Those who had been playing the game surrendered their seats, which were bottoms of wooden crates they had flipped over in the absence of benches. They scurried out of the way, observing their captain and Rey from afar. Three cups, each containing five dice, sat on the table. Claiming a seat across from the other, Kylo and Rey grabbed their cups, shook them, and thud them down on the table. Another sounded, unexpectedly, pulling both Kylo and Rey’s attention to Poe as he plopped himself down in the third player’s seat.

Rey frowned at him. “What are you doing?” she scolded, heavily enunciating her syllables. 

“I’m in,” said Poe, rolling his shoulders and neck as he cast a knowing look to Kylo. His head bobbed an affirmative  _yes_ to the captain, then gesticulated a hand to Rey. “Ladies first.” 

Rey grit her teeth, rolling her eyes and stealing a quick peek under her cup. A pair of threes and three two’s displayed on the ivory dice. “I bet three two’s.” She looked to Kylo expectantly, whose sharp gaze was watching her like a hawk eyeballing a tiny field mouse. “Captain?”

Ren’s mouth worked, lifting his own cup with a front tentacle for him to quickly peer at the hidden contents underneath. “Four four’s.”

Poe followed in suit, raising the bid. “Four fives.”

“Six threes,” Rey declared. 

It was Kylo’s turn. “Seven fives.” 

Emboldened, perhaps a bit overconfident, Rey leveled her chin. “Liar.”

Ren met her gaze, his poker face making it increasingly hard for her to determine whether or not she had made a grave mistake. “Are you _sure_ , Miss Turner?”

_No,_ her instincts told her. Her bullheadedness, on the other hand, said otherwise. “Yes, I am calling you a liar.”

Kylo considered her, motionless. His sullenness indicating how horribly wrong she was. How stupidly quick she had just handed herself over to him. But his actions proceeded to prove how horribly wrong she had been about  _him._ His tentacles parted down the center, a rear appendage revealing the compass, unharmed and completely intact. “I guess this means you are free to go.”

Her fingertips barely skimmed the tentacle’s smooth skin as she accepted the compass from him. Feeling his bareness sent a cold shiver up through her spine, her heart missing a beat, and an overwhelming urge to assure him she wasn’t leaving welled inside her breast. 

Her lips opened to tell him she was sorry. That she had every intention to stay. “Kylo,” she breathed. “I—.”

“Next time we make port, Miss Turner,” he added, melancholy lacing his timbre. Once he was sure her fingers held a solid grip on the compass, Ren pulled away and rose from his seat. “No one will stop you, you have my word.”

Rey sighed, shaking her head. “Kylo, would you please just lis—.”

Ren turned and left before she could elaborate further. Puffing a frustrated breath, Rey looked down at the compass, her thumb brushing its lid, frowning. 

“Do you want me to talk to him?” asked Poe, sincerely concerned. 

Her brows slanted, regarding the object in her lap pensively. It occurred to her how quickly Kylo had surrendered the compass to her, not a single trace of resiliency elicited in his gaze. Shouldn’t he have been angry, at least? Raising her chin, she reached across the table for Ren’s cup, flipping it over to reveal the five black dice: _all_ of them fives. 

“Rey?”

Rey blinked, cocking her head, her vision glued to the dice as she scoffed at what should have declared Ren the winner. Instead, he had given the title to her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still with me?? Okay, excellent! Because there's some much needed Reylo goodness on the horizon. ;) This marks the beginning of our uphill climb. <3 Any guesses as to why Kylo allowed Rey to win? Thoughts on Maz and Hux? I was verrrrrry subtle on the hints there.


	8. The Voice of Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finding North has art!!!!! I commissioned this piece by the amazing [clara-gemm](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com/post/186964783000/finding-north-now-on-ao3-i-commissioned-the) and this amazing [manip](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com/post/186876334030/my-bestie-winglessone-made-me-this-frickin) is from my dear friend winglessone. Please do check them out if you get a chance! :)
> 
> Anywho, I promised ya'll we were at the beginning of our uphill climb for Reylo. I hope this doesn't disappoint. <3 Please do share your thoughts in the comments! 
> 
> A massive shout out to my wonderful beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) and to [winglessone](https://winglessone.tumblr.com) for always being my cheerleader. 
> 
> Come bug me on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29).

Sunrise painted the eastern skyline crimson the next morning. Among the few crew members who had risen early was Rey, shirking her morning duties on the lower decks for the warm, ocean breeze on top. A small pod of dolphins running alongside the Silencer as she propped her forearms on the ledge provided a welcoming distraction from her thoughts about Kylo and the compass; which she had tucked inside the pocket of her slacks the previous night. 

She hadn’t removed it since. 

It was easier to ignore the gadget burning a hole in her pocket than the captain. Maybe it was the hurt Rey had heard within Kylo’s voice as he surrendered the compass that made him impossibly harder to forget. How she had allowed herself to get in so deep when it was mere days ago that she couldn’t stand him, she didn’t know. But it was obvious to her now, somehow, she needed him as badly as he needed her. 

If only the captain would stop brooding in his chambers so she could talk to him...Ren was stubborn. So, so very stubborn. 

And yet, so was Rey. Being headstrong was what kept her alive for all those years living alone on Jakku. It was a quality of hers that counted as both her strong suit and her biggest weakness. She wasn’t going to give up so quickly on Han Solo’s son though. There were miles upon miles between them and the closest island, currently. She still had plenty of time. 

Heavy footsteps grasped her attention. Without looking to see who was approaching, at first, she thought it was Kylo joining her. But, no. Peering over her shoulder, she saw her company was definitely  _not_ the captain. 

The newcomer was literally a foot taller than Kylo Ren. With the number of pistols that the pirate had holstered over his black attire, crosswise, he resembled a tree ent marching into war. She had seen him mingling with the crew before at a distance, but never had she been  _this_  close to him. He was— _enormous_. Intimidating. 

And he was marching directly towards her. 

Rey had been on the Silencer for nearly a week now; ample time for her to have become well acquainted with the others besides Kylo and Poe. She worked alongside them daily. Dined with them. Slept in their quarters. Small talk occurred on occasion, however, the crew never went out of their way to purposely converse with her. She was utterly clueless as to what this particular pirate had to say to her. 

Of course, that was  _if_ the pirate had anything to say. 

For the longest period, he stood beside her, tranquilly, bearing every ounce of his upper body weight down on the ledge with his timbered fists. Pondering whatever thoughts were rolling through his head. Bridging the gap in their voiceless exchange as both continued gazing into the vast blue were the waves slapping against the Silencer’s hull, and a small flock of seagulls wailing as they passed overhead. 

It was awkward.  _Too_ awkward for her own comfort. 

Then, he mumbled something to her from out of nowhere. Unfortunately, the words had been too garbled for her brain to compute what it was that he had said. Her head practically reclined back to her shoulder blades just to look into the stormy eyes that were already gaping down at her. 

“Sorry?” she queried, feeling a little guilty for asking him to repeat himself. 

He exhaled noisily, frustrated, rapping his four right knuckles on the wooden ledge. Other than muttering another incoherent strand of words, the pirate said nothing afterward. It suddenly dawned on her that he might have trouble speaking. 

“You know what, never mind. It’s okay,” she affirmed, giving him a benevolent smile for reassurance. “I’m Rey, by the way.” 

Rey taking control of the conversation seemed to alleviate the pirate of his troubles, and a lax smile spread across his thin lips as he extended a large hand to Rey. She happily obliged and he bowed his head, thanking her. She was almost positive she heard him quietly mumble his name. 

“Chewie?” she squinted, uncertain. His vigorous nod widening her grin. “It’s a nice name,” Rey added, withdrawing her hand from his and folding her arms. “That’s a very impressive collection you have there, Chewie.” She jutted her chin to the several flintlock pistols he carried across his sternum and the couple at his waist. Informing the pirate of this lit his face up more than the rising sun.

He removed a pistol from its sheath on his chest and handed it to her. Rey spent a solid few minutes admiring the fine details in his weapon. The richness in the wood that the gunsmith had used to construct its butt-end to the barrel. The barely visible knicks in its steel, which made the hammer and mechanisms surrounding the mainspring and atop the barrel’s length. Noting it was surprisingly heavy to hold but also comfortable in her grip as she took aim at the horizon. 

Chewie groaned a phrase that sounded pleasant. Grinning, Rey slid her eyes in his direction and lowered the gun. Only then did she see it was Kylo that Chewie had addressed while her vision was wholly trained on the weapon. Her stomach started performing somersaults when the captain stopped in front of her, opposite of Chewie. She hadn’t expected to see him so fast after the prior evening’s incident. 

Now that he was here, she had absolutely _no_  idea what she wanted to say to him. 

“I—um.” Gulping down the dry lump in her throat, Rey tilted her chin up at Chewie, grimacing. “C-Could you give us a few minutes?”

Chewie hummed softly as he briefly regarded his captain. What it was that he told him, she hadn’t the slightest clue. Although, given the expression that developed on Kylo’s face, she assumed his words were meant to be rather encouraging. Presumably for both Rey  _and_ the captain. 

Attempting to hand the pistol back to its owner, her brows knitted at the palm that Chewie raised, insisting that he wanted her to keep it. Rey frowned at this. “Are you sure?” she pressed. Really she had no need for it even though Chewie seemed to think otherwise. 

But insulting him by denying his generosity was the last thing she wanted to do. Defeated, she sighed, graciously accepting his gift. While she carefully tucked the weapon into the backside of her belt, Chewie turned to Kylo, gesturing his hand over his face in a circular motion and finishing with a finger lazily directed at Rey.

_What was that about? she scoffed._

“I think Chewie likes you,” said Kylo, responding to her question as if he had just read her thoughts. His velvety timbre filling the pause that remained in Chewie’s absence. She found that ability oddly comforting about him. 

“What did he say?” she asked, her attention divided between the captain and Chewie as she folded her arms.

Ren hesitated, his eyes, seeming perplexed, were set on the empty space where the pirate had been standing moments sooner. “He said you’re beautiful,” he whispered.  

She hadn’t needed to look at him to know there was a double meaning in that sentence. Her eyes darted to the ground before he caught sight of the blush staining her cheeks a vibrant pink. Attempting yet failing miserably to deny there was an exorbitant amount of adoration in his words. A peculiar softness in his tone. And it was what she discovered when she finally did let herself meet his gaze that spiked every one of her utmost inner fears. She opted to not put forth the additional effort to wonder what emotion was simmering the most under the surface of his eyes. 

Too much, there was just too much that needed to be mended. Far too many poisonous words had been exchanged between them. She refused to admit that a huge part of her enjoyed he was looking at her like that before the air dividing them was cleansed of the toxicity. 

“Kylo,” she began, her lungs releasing a shuddered breath. “I owe you an apology.”

“For?”

Wetting her lips, she summoned the courage to face him again. “For everything,” she winced. “You’ve been nothing but honest with me since the day I arrived here. I shouldn’t have been so pushy about the compass but I had promised the person who gave it to me that I wouldn’t lose it and I panicked. And…” she paused in her rambling and took another breath. Ren waited patiently for her to finish. “And I thought it was the only thing that could help me find what I was looking for.”

Ren shook his head. “No,” he murmured contritely. “I gave you no reason to warrant such kindness from you. I should be the one apologizing.”

Rey bit her bottom lip. “Last night, I checked your dice,” she quickly countered. “You let me win.”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he quipped, bitterly, “eventually, you would have become a slave. A prisoner. Cursed like myself and the crew. I wasn’t about to let you suffer the same ways as I have for something inanimate.”

Rey scoffed. “I...don’t understand?” 

“No, I wasn’t expecting you to,” he grimaced. “What you asked of me last night, it was reckless and dangerous. I _had_ no choice, Rey.” He took two steps closer to her, forcing her neck to crane back as he now towered above her. “By submitting your soul to me you would have sentenced yourself to a lifetime of service on this ship. The Silencer would have owned you. Consumed you. Changed you in every worse physical, emotional aspect imaginable. And there’s not a damn thing you or I could have done to stop it.”

She was tempted to say it was his fault that she was driven this far. That he had given her no choice but to challenge him until it was those exact words that stuck out at her. And it was the precise moment she realized, somehow, she’d pressed her trembling hand flat to his muscular chest, under the wriggling curtain of appendages, grazing her sleeve-covered wrist. As if she’d tried pushing him away and lost every bit of strength her body retained to stop him. 

For some reason, she didn’t bother to remove it; neither did Ren. 

“You  _did_ have a choice,” Rey softly informed him. “You could have done what was fair and let me lose.” 

Ren’s expression turned grim. “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but you _are_ aware of what it’s like to lose someone you love?”

Rey blinked, taken aback. She retrieved her hand and took half a step back from him, folding her arms. “Excuse me?”

“My father lost more than just his son that day,” he explained. Slowly, he advanced toward the ledge, facing Rey as he rested his claw upon the flat wooden plane. “Chewie served with my father in the navy. He was his best friend. Practically a second father to me and a brother to him. I’ve known him my whole life.” Frowning, his vision veered off to the horizon. “Sometimes, I think if it would have been better had we died that day than live an eternity as monsters.”

Rey felt her heart split down the middle. “You don’t mean that,” she countered assertively. “ _All_ of you made sacrifices for a noble cause. You saved your father. Chewie  _chose_ to serve you because he loves you and that’s what family does. You make sacrifices for one another so nobody gets left behind.” Saying those words out loud struck a bit too close to home for her. Reminding her that her own parents had left her stranded on Jakku nearly a decade ago. Two people who should have done an immediate about-face and come back for her. 

 _Ten years._  

It hit her all of a sudden. A decade seemed like an awfully long time to just casually forget about someone...Especially when that person was your one and only child.

“Have—Have you considered going to them?” she sniffed, averting her eyes as she rid their bottom lashes of moisture with a knuckle. “Your parents, I mean.”

Ren nodded, attentive to every move she made. “Every day,” he rasped.

“So, why haven’t you?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to: I  _can’t_. When I say you’re a prisoner on this ship, I mean that in every way possible. For ten years, we are bound to the sea. _Ten years_. And for one day out of the 3,000 we spend at sea we’re allowed on land.” He paused, considering her, his head cocked. “Do you understand now why I chose to give you the compass back? You deserve that freedom.”

 _Freedom._  That was the moment she realized, for all these years, she had been as much of a prisoner on land as Kylo had been a prisoner at sea. She had been living in denial. Blinded by the aspirations that her family was coming back for her when it was obvious they were gone for good. The evidence had always been there and yet she’d consistently chosen to ignore them again and again. 

At that, Rey couldn’t stop herself from crying even if she had wanted to. She cried. 

And cried. 

And cried. 

She couldn’t say how long the captain stood by her in utter silence. However, it was, perhaps, the best sort of comfort she could’ve asked from him then. Knowing he was there, listening, was more than enough amenity she'd ever been shown in a decade from the civilians on Jakku. 

“You wanna know something?” She dried her eyes as best she could with her sleeve and sniffed. “Every day, for ten years, I was so sure that my parents were coming back. I was free to come and go, but I chose to stay at this little shack along the beach where they left me because I refused to believe anyone would ever be so cruel to leave their child stranded on an island alone. I was so afraid. So afraid to leave because if I did, I thought I might miss them.”

“We are our own worst enemy,” he assured, his voice was almost soothing to her soul. “And sometimes, being our own prison is worse than spending a decade locked behind bars. At least being inside a cell leaves you a better chance for escape.”

“Yeah…” she sighed, nodding. Jesus, they really were like two mashed peas in a pod. “I suppose you’re right.” 

“So, you’re free now.” His mouth began working in that funny way it always did whenever he was diving in deep to his thoughts. She had to admit, it was kind of—adorable. “What is it that you intend to do first?”

Chewing her bottom lip, her perception flitted to the horizon. She smiled weakly at the first notion that came to mind. “I think...we should work on reclaiming yours.” Turning back to him, Rey put her right hand on his claw. “Together?” 

Kylo hesitated and pursed his lips, frowning at the hand she had placed on his claw. She knew in her heart that freeing him of his curse was going to be hard. Ignorant as to what it all entailed. But she had never been so sure of the fact that they were brought together by the compass for a reason: she was meant to bring him home. 

Seeming to have found his resolve, Ren covered her hand with his. Despite being a captain of the undead, his touch felt so incredibly warm. His calloused fingers practically engulfing hers as he gave them a tender squeeze, his gaze as equally tender. “Alright,” he said, the shadow of a smile spreading on his lips. “Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's start cranking up that romance, shall we? ;) But first, we have some action coming up in the next chapter. Or if you're talking in terms of Beauty and the Beast, the wolves are descending...


	9. When Wolves Descend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cranking up the action. And the romance, as promised. ;) 
> 
> Also, I wanted to share [this](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com/post/187237607625/im-absolutely-floored-by-this-amazing-piece-that) beautiful piece of fanart that was gifted to me by @yowthatdinshipper. There's nothing like seeing a part of your story come to life. <3 And I also can't thank you all enough for your amazing comments! I'm looking forward to reading them. :)
> 
> A tremendous thank you to my beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) for making sure this chapter made sense and to my best friend [winglessone](https://winglessone.tumblr.com) for always being there to bounce ideas around for this. 
> 
> Come bug me on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29).

Dinner was no longer lonely for Kylo after his talk with Rey. Like clockwork, every night at twilight, as the sun reached its midway mark before it disappeared into the horizon, he’d hear the faintest knock on his cabin door. He  _knew_ , without opening it, that it was her waiting outside. 

_Rey._

God...He was hopelessly head over heels for her. He was like a marooned planet in the blackest cellars of outer space and she was his sun. The brightest star in his orbit. A constant light in this murky underworld he was trapped inside. Unjustly beautiful and so far out of his league. 

 _Life sure had a way of being cruel, sometimes,_ he thought. 

“Kylo,” Rey said softly, “are you alright?”

Ren raised his eyes from his plate. Whereas Rey had nothing but bones and bread crumbs dirtying hers, he had barely begun to put a dent in the small helpings of fruit and meat on his. Worry sprinkled her eyes as she peered across the table at him. A look so ordinary yet it was one that Ren wasn’t accustomed to seeing. 

Admittedly, it had been years since anyone had cared enough to ask how he was feeling. 

His knee-jerk reply was to tell her  _no_. No, he wasn’t alright. Because the inside of his brain was a mirror reflection of his outward appearance: it was a total fucking disaster. A train wreck in the making and it was him who was responsible for steering one of the two locomotives into the head-on collision. 

She deserved so much better than this. Better than  _him_. A man who was cursed. Broken. Unworthy of redemption. She deserved to have someone who hadn’t been so afraid to touch her. Kiss her. Or make love to her on every surface in the dwelling at all hours through the night. Someone who wasn’t elbows deep in the blood of innocent lives. 

But in that sense, Kylo Ren was selfish. 

He wanted to be that  _someone_ for her so much that it actually hurt. Wanted to be her first in _everything_ that a normal couple would share together. Even though she was still blind in terms of what it would take for him to be free of his curse, he’d made her a promise. Unlike her parents, he fully intended to keep it. He’d show her Ben Solo would return for her. Build a life for them. Free. Untethered. 

Of course, all of it sounded a lot simpler in his head…

Ren smiled at her unevenly. “I’m fine,” he assured, a fore-tentacle pushing his plate to the side. “Just not as hungry as I thought I was.”

Rey was utterly appalled by the admission. “You’re not gonna throw all of that away, are you?” she gasped, eyes round as her jaw dropped open. 

Ren cut her a baffled look. “It's half of a poultry breast and fruit, Rey. Hardly adequate enough to send the world into famine overnight.”

Snorting, she reached for the wine goblet beside her empty plate. “Maybe not the world,” she groused, “but it’s enough to make a difference for somebody who eats one meal a day.” She took a quick sip of her wine then added, “ _If_ they’re lucky.” 

Ren considered her bleak reply as she returned the goblet to its spot on the table. “You sound as if you know this from experience.”

Her brows puckered at that. “A little bit,” she quietly replied. Wetting her lips, she met his doleful gaze and folded her arms on the table. “Villagers - the upper class, especially - weren’t exactly kind to orphans. Or the poor,” she explained. “I learned fast that it did me no good to beg for shillings and whatnot. I survived off what I found on the beach. If it was my lucky day at the market, I’d bring home a fresh bread loaf or fruit.” 

Ren’s stomach tightened, as did his fist on the table. It’s what was unspoken of her past that had his blood boiling as Rey continued to talk. If her parents weren’t already dead, they sure as hell would be if he ever stumbled across them at sea. “I’m sorry,” he grimaced. “No one should ever be made to go without. Especially, children. And so long as I have a say in it, you will never have to again.”

Kylo didn’t realize the boldness behind his words until they had already been spoken. Hinting at a future he desperately wanted to share with her. If Rey was the least bit troubled by the aspect, she didn’t say. Nor did she exhibit any signs that it bothered her. She simply gave him a smile that crinkled the corners of her eyes.   

“Speaking of  _not_ going without...” she drawled, biting her bottom lip pensively. “How is it you always have an abundance of food here if you’re forbidden to go on land?”

Ren smirked. “You finally caught onto that,” he dryly remarked, though his annoyance wasn’t directed at Rey. “You could call it a  _gift_ , I suppose. Rendered by the curse to keep the Silencer’s crew sated at sea. The same goes for why the ship evolves per captain.” His eyes lowered to his hand then, sneering. “A pretty fucked up way to remind us that we’re still human, if I may add. That we can still feel the pain of hunger if we choose to ignore its offering.” 

Her head tilted askance, her voice and expression softening. “How’s feeling human a bad thing?”

Ren shrugged. “It’s a matter of perspective, I guess,” he winced. Now wasn’t the time for him to explain why his heart was absent. That being a monster was easier for him if his body were apart from his soul. Or how incredibly fucked up he was altogether. He couldn’t have been more grateful for Rey sensing the tension building in the room and grabbed hold of the reins to the conversation. 

“You said that the ship evolves?” she curiously asked. 

He nodded once. “Yes.”

“How so?”

The narrow breadth of Ren’s bronchial tube deflated as the captain drew in a sharp breath and turned to the enormous instrument occupying the rear sector inside the cabin. “Well, for example, the organ wasn’t here while the Silencer was under Snoke’s command. One day it was like a throne for a king, then an organ the next.” 

Rey bowed her head, assuring Ren she understood. “I hear you when you play at night,” she conceded in a feathery voice, casting a smile in his direction. “You’re very good.”

Ren was glad that she couldn’t see his face was flaming red. Yet pride was blooming inside his chest knowing she had also enjoyed his music. “Thank you,” he said. “My mother shoved me into piano lessons when I was a boy. Took them for several years, afterward. If I wasn’t engrossed in school with private tutors, there was music practice.” Pausing, his forehead creased. “There’s just something about it that puts you at ease whenever you feel a need to disconnect from reality.”

Rey mulled over this a few moments, her thumbs massaging her elbows as she surveyed the organ. “It is magnificent. Sometimes, while I was passing by the saloon on Jakku, I’d hear the piano playing but I never went inside to watch.” Biting her lips, her hazels reverted to the captain then. “May I?” she eagerly asked. 

He nodded approvingly. “Of course.”

Rey beamed at him. Scooting her chair away from the table, she rose to her feet and began pacing toward the instrument. But realizing she was alone, Rey stopped and threw a glance over her shoulder at Kylo. “You coming?” 

Wonders never ceased to amaze the captain how quickly their relationship had budded within such shortness in time. The stolen prolonged looks while one thought the other wasn’t watching. The staggering touches on the other’s hands, arms, or shoulders as a silent means to express their longing for companionship. She never blanched or shuddered at the deformities in his skin underneath her fingers and palm. 

She made him feel  _wanted_. A man rather than a creature. More Ben Solo than Kylo Ren.

As she claimed half of the organ bench, Ren occupied the available space beside her. Her left shoulder in line with his left bicep. His back facing the tiers of ivory keys. And he listened blithely while her slender fingers began scaling the octaves, note-by-note, one key at a time, echoed off his cabin walls, from the middle-range to the highest pitch. She looked happy. Carefree. He wondered if anything had ever given her as much pleasure on Jakku.

“What about you?” he lightly probed, memorized by her elegant digits floating over the keys. “Has anything ever piqued your interest?”

Her brows knitted, holding the sharp trill of a high key as she pondered a reply. “I like fixing things,” she admitted. Releasing the note, Rey clasped her hands loosely in her lap, focus centered on Kylo. “Every morning, on Jakku, I’d look for items on the beach to trade for the essentials. Sometimes I’d find stuff to tear apart and see how it worked, then fix it. A couple of things I indulged and kept for myself. But usually, everything went to Maz.”

Ren squinted pointedly. “Maz?”

“Yeah! She was actually the woman who gave me the compass.”

“Maz Kanata?”

Rey blinked. “ _Yes_ ,” she replied, treading with caution. “You know her?”

Ren grunted caustically. “You could say that.” His better half wanted to thank Maz for having literally delivered Rey to him; his darker persona was tempted to snap the old woman’s neck the next time he saw her. “She’s the witch responsible for cursing the Silencer.” 

Rey gasped. “W-Wait a second! _Maz?_ ” Unable to restrain her enthusiasm, Rey swiveled in her seat, facing him, a hand clutching his bicep. “Kylo, do you know what this means? If we can go back to Jakku, I could go to her and get her to lift the spell!”

Ren begged to differ. “As wonderful as it sounds, that’s unfortunately not how it works.”

Hearing those words slowly eradicated the grin on her face. “And I suppose you won’t ever tell me  _how_ it works, will you?” she grumbled. Tilting her chin, she leaned into him closer. “Even though _you_ agreed to let me help you.”

“You are helping.” His mouth teased a smirk. “It’s been a while since you last called me an asshole. So whatever it is you are doing, it must be somewhat effective.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “You’re still an asshole,” she deadpanned.

Ren snorted at her brazenness; however, he couldn’t deny that her fiery attitude was completely turning him on. Knowing the reason for the smoldering passion in her eyes was for him sent his blood rushing southward. “Has anyone ever told you you’re incredibly beautiful when you’re upset?”

Pink immediately colored her cheeks, put off by his compliment at first but she hastily recovered. “You’re deflecting,” she scoffed. “Buttering me up won’t help you get off the hook here.”

Ren regarded her with a look of mock disappointment. “So you’re saying I should try harder then?”

Rey made no effort to comment as she stared back at him, doe-eyed. Save for the dry swallow he’d perceived while his eyes panned down to her lips. Her nervousness bleeding outright yet she never attempted to resist him. He knew she wanted  _this_. Yearned for him as much as he had been yearning for her. It excited him as it also terrified him. 

The tentacle he coiled around her wrist anchored her palm to his arm, drawing out the smallest gasp from her lips as the oxygen caught in her throat. Her eyes fluttered shut as his hand cradled her cheek, wholly allowing herself to melt into him as Ren bridged the cleft between them. Warm air softly fanned over her lips as he breathed, “Rey…”

_BOOM!_

**

The impact of the cannon fire jolted the Silencer violently, rattling the cargo inside. However fleeting it was, a powerful tremor from the blast nearly sent Rey toppling from the bench. She would have fallen if it hadn’t been for Kylo quickly grabbing her hip. “Shit, Rey!” 

“Kylo!” Rey cried out fearfully, alarmed by the unforeseen turn in events. Her right hand fisted the captain’s coat sleeve, the other grasping its thick material on his chest. “What’s happening?”

“We’re under atta—.”

_BOOM!_

Again, the Silencer was struck by another round from the enemy cannon, striking somewhere close to the stern’s lower deck. _Too_ close for comfort. 

“Fucking hell,” Ren seethed. “We’re being attacked!” 

Rey’s heart was sprinting in her chest. Scrabbling to her feet, she turned to the captain. Gone was the tenderness in his gaze, a thunderous glare appearing now in its place. “By _who_?” 

Wordless, Kylo stood in precession and rushed to the door. At the same instant, Poe came barging into the cabin. “Captain, the artillery is being readied, sir!”

“What the hell is happening out there, Dameron?”

“It’s the Supremacy,” Poe panted. “Looks like good ol’ Armitage is wanting to play with the big boys.”

Rey felt the color drain from her cheeks. Her mind cutting to the fact Finn was onboard that very same ship. “You’re  _sure_ it’s the Supremacy?” she queried to Poe. 

Poe nodded confidently. “I’d recognize those black sails anywhere.”

Ren sneered. “Then we mustn’t disappoint,” he snarled. “Fire when ready. And for fuck sakes make him stop blowing holes in my ship!”

“Aye, sir,” said Poe, acknowledging Ren’s orders from over his shoulder, exiting the cabin. 

As Poe was taking his leave, the captain’s searing gaze flashed to Rey. “I want y—.”

“I’m coming with you,” she affirmed before Ren could voice his order for her to stay. Not that she had the intention to fight Hux and his crew. She wanted to find Finn. 

Ren blinked. “Absolutely not!”

“I can handle myself!” 

“God damn it, Rey, _no!”_ he barked. “This isn’t like your usual saloon brawl on Jakku, or whatever the hell you think this is. I can’t protect you out there!”

Crossing her arms in defiance, she narrowed her eyes at him. “I don’t  _need_ your protection! I’m perfectly capable of handling myse—.”

“I _will not_ let you put yourself in a position that’ll get you killed. I can’t and I _won’t_ lose you!”

_BOOM! BOOM!_

Yelping, she flinched at the closeness of the Silencer’s cannons firing. Men hollering from both ships resonated in the background, amidst the chaos. While the commotion was clearly indicating that the war between the Silencer and the Supremacy was rapidly progressing, Kylo was seemingly unphased. As if there was no battle unwinding between the immortals and men, just him and Rey. 

_I won’t lose you._

_I need you._

Something else was buried in there too, but he didn’t say. Reckoning it was too dangerous for a rapport so shiny and new. Something which burrowed deep into unknown territory. For the life of her, she couldn’t pin the moment she’d begun manifesting these emotions for the man who was the creature, Kylo Ren. 

Seeing him this way hauled her back to the prior moments where they had almost kissed. What it felt like to have butterflies in her stomach for the first time in her life. That whatever was happening here with Ren wasn’t unrequited.

In spite of her current avid frustration with him, she still wanted him to kiss her. 

His hand carded through the unkempt tresses hanging in her face, coaxing them behind an ear. Lingering at the base of her skull, tips stroking her neck, he tilted her chin up just right so she was forced to meet his gaze. “Stay here,” Ren commanded, firmly but gently. “Keep the door locked and stay out of sight. But if anyone gets in, do _not_ let Hux or any of his men get a hold of that compass.”

Scowling, she heaved a sigh. “Ky—.” 

“That’s an order, Rey.”

It was fruitless for her to protest. Ren would probably have Poe drag her back to the cabin kicking and screaming if she defied him. And considering she was already well acquainted with Hux and his crew, the single-shot pistol Chewie gave her could only get her so far before she was sighted by the unsavory red-head or one of his pirates. She’d just have to hope and pray that Finn wouldn’t be among the casualties…

Shifting the weight on her soles, her eyes moved to the door. “You’re incorrigible,” she muttered surly. “There, you happy?”

“You’ll get over it,” said Ren, pressing a chaste kiss to her temple before he left. She tried to center herself more on the knotting resentment she was feeling towards him as she locked the door instead of the flittering butterflies that reappeared in her gut. 

Now, it was merely a waiting game. 

Cannon fire gradually withered to gunshots and clashing swords. Guttural roars in agony replaced bellowing threats. And she prayed none of them were Finn’s. Occasionally, from the quarterdeck outside the cabin, she’d overheard the pirates’ crude banter. Although thankfully no one ever tried breaching the wood barrier to her not-so-secret hideaway. 

Having trusted in her incessant pacing to busy her thoughts, she froze upon heeding the sound of a jiggling door handle. Believing it was Kylo initially before it grew adamant. Determined. Apparent her visitor was purposely trying to get inside. Surely, if it were the captain, wouldn’t Kylo have announced his presence to her by now?

She ducked behind a table chair, out of the direct line of sight from the entrance, before the perpetrator burst open the door. Rey clapped a clammy hand over her mouth, muffling her scream. Ignoring her heart pounding in her ears as she tracked her company’s lazy footsteps scuffing across the floor, striding closer and closer, merrily whistling a tune. 

Reflecting on Kylo’s earlier warning, she knew what she needed to do. She could make a run for the door, assuming that her visitor wasn’t armed with a pistol and search for Kylo or Poe. Or settle for the alternative. She chose the latter to be safe.

Still crouching, clutching the chair seat beside her with a hand for pillar her other reached for the flintlock holstered at her backside, tucked in her belt. She winced at the harsh  _c_ _lick_ the hammer made when it was fully cocked, ready to shoot. Her visitor had to have heard it too. The halting footsteps and whistling confirmed she’d presumed correctly. 

“I know you’re in here,” hissed the masculine voice, a familiar  _click_ splitting the silence in the cabin. “Come out, come out wherever you are.”

_Do it, Rey…_

Grinding her teeth, she rose and found the pirate cautiously examining an area opposite of where she was hiding. She aimed the gun and fired, causing the pirate to collapse, leaving a hole in evidence of the bullet piercing his back. Smoke billowed from the barrel’s end, wavering as a cool gust of air gushed through the open doorway. 

Her body started to tremble after she saw blood emanating from the wound. Shame and mortification taking over. Even though circumstances had lucidly asserted that she kill or be killed. Her conscience failing to segregate murder from self-defense. 

As the panic started casting her into a downward spiral, Rey felt the dire need to escape. Curl herself into a ball someplace below deck and hide in the shadows till this nightmare ended. 

She discarded the gun and fled the cabin, beelining toward the bow to the Silencer’s stairwell for the lower decks. Spotting the Supremacy cruising parallel to the Silencer at a miniscule distance along the way. 

The air felt thin and crisp, reeking of a hearty mixture of rain and saltwater and death. All evidence pointing to a victory that’d teetered heavily in favor of Kylo and his men. On the floor, where there wasn’t debris and bodies of those who’d loyally served Armitage Hux scattered about, was a dark crimson caking the wood. Blood. So much blood had been shed that night. The morbid stench was quickly turning the pit in her stomach sour. 

Quickly, Rey cantered across the deck, her awareness trained on her destination ahead. She practically skidded to a stop the second she perceived the shape of a figure striding out from the dark stairwell. A man who was average in height but compensated for his size in muscle and the single-edged cutlass he grasped. No doubt he had been a part of the Supremacy crew and was accidentally left behind. Pity. 

Except Rey was now weaponless. Defenseless. Not a single member of the Silencer’s crew in her view. 

She shrieked when the pirate advanced, narrowly dodging his blade, his strokes vicious and sloppy, slicing nothing but air. Relentless in his pursuit. A one-time successful attack awarded him a laceration on her right bicep. However, it was because of Rey stumbling clumsily over a corpse that allotted her attacker the advantage. Neither aware of  _w_ _ho_ was approaching the pirate at the rear until the sword had already been plunged through his backside, protruding from his chest. 

“Kylo,” she wheezed, her eyes turning misty as her attacker slumped forward and fell to the ground. The captain’s sword lodged in his sternum. 

Not caring about the scarlet blotches staining Kylo’s undershirt, Rey threw her arms around his neck, gently, minding his tentacled-beard. Her tears drenching the fabric covering his shoulder long before the raindrops cascaded from above. Ren’s arms circled her waist, his claw pressed into her back, his hand cupping her underarm. Desperate and unwilling to let go. 

“Please tell me it’s over,” she pleaded. 

Ren kept quiet. His silence was all she needed to hear to understand this battle wasn’t over. Yet she was still comforted by the response he settled on. “For now.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will be heating up soon!! I know some of you are dying for the tentacle porn. ;) And I haven't forgotten about Finn. We'll be touching base with him again in the next chapter. <3


	10. Bleeding Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely @mirrastupar on Tumblr has graced us with some incredible [manips](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com/post/187494370770/finding-north-on-ao3) for Finding North, including the moodboard for this chapter. 
> 
> This is by far my favorite chapter for the story. I hope you all like it too. As always, your comments are always the butter to my jam and continue making me smile. I appreciate the love and support so much!
> 
> Come bug me on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29). And a special thanks to my beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) and to [winglessone](https://winglessone.tumblr.com) for listening to my babbles and ideas.

 

> _Finn’s love for adventure stemmed from his childhood days digging holes in the dirt. Promising himself that he would one day travel abroad. Explore the secrets of renowned civilizations and discover the assortment of riches and gold, said to be buried in the earth. Stories his father told him filled his head with curiosity, wondering if there was any truth within those pages of the old fables. Whether those sea monsters in legends and witchcraft existed or not._
> 
> _What he never thought to learn was that the latter was, in fact, true. All of it._
> 
> _Witches and their enigmatic skills in magic. The rumors of a young man who had inadvertently cursed himself to the sea after rescuing his father from an undead pirate captain and his immortal crew. And based on the information Finn managed to collect while listening to the captain and Maz, Hux - his captain - had also once held a share in that same curse. Back when the Silencer was under Snoke’s command._
> 
> _Now, supposedly, Hux was set on avenging his late superior’s death, and his target was Ben Solo._
> 
> _No, he couldn’t let Hux succeed. Wanted no part in whatever grand scheme the captain was hatching. Not after what he did to Rey. Not after watching him gruesomely torture the elderly. Though it appeared that the old woman was hilariously more than a match for the captain and it was Hux who fled. Like a master lugging his dog around by a short rope, his first mate Mitaka had been hot on his heels._
> 
> _Had Finn possessed any allegiance to the captain, he would have followed too._
> 
> _Yet it was difficult to erase the images his mind had already been shown. He couldn’t bring himself to leave the woman there on the floor. Vulnerable. Alone. Wrinkles prodigiously mapping the signs of old age on her visage bloodied from the raw incision dissecting half of her face. With the power she’d exerted over Hux, he thought her ego to be engorged. But when the woman raised her chin, her almond eyes leerily landing on Finn’s as the pirate knelt beside her and lent her a hand, helping her rise to her feet, he saw Maz’s expression was anything just._
> 
> _“You best leave now before he notices you’re gone,” she gravely admonished._
> 
> _“I’m not going back,” Finn countered. His hands dove into the pockets of his slacks, rummaging for his handkerchief so he could offer it to Maz. “Torturing the innocent isn’t what I signed up for.”_
> 
> _She studied him dubiously for a second. Her mouth quirking somewhat of a bemused smile. “Well, in that case,” she snorted and accepted the handkerchief he extended to her, “that makes you the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of.”_
> 
> _Finn chortled tersely at that. “Maybe,” he conceded. “At least going down as the worst pirate in history in that sense is better than dishing out scars.”_
> 
> _Her brows shot up in amazement. “Indeed,” she mused. Her focus fell to the handkerchief she was wrapping around her index and middle finger and began dabbing the thin fabric gingerly over her gaping wound. “You’re certainly not like the others...?”_
> 
> _“Finn,” he provided cordially. A cloud of desolation materializing aloft as he recalled the night Rey was sent to her watery grave. Guilt for having not attempted to save her kicked in and he felt that proverbial twinge of pain in his breast. “The captain, he uh…” Grimacing, his right hand kneaded the material on his chest, vainly suppressing the ache. “He killed a friend of mine. Her name was Rey.”_
> 
> _Enlivened by his mention of Rey, Maz smiled knowingly. “You know Rey?” To which a very reluctant Finn nodded. “I can assure you, your friend is alive and well-cared for.”_
> 
> _Anything sensible that was worth responding with fumbled at the tip of his tongue. At first, he was sure Maz was toying with his intelligence. Not even the best swimmer could have possibly survived those waves that night. “That’s impossible,” he scoffed. “I saw her jump overboard myself.”_
> 
> _“The Supremacy wasn’t the only ship in the ocean then, Finn,” she responded cryptically._
> 
> _The only other rational answer that crossed his mind afterward had him thinking she really was playing him for a fool. Han Solo’s son or no, there was a reason why the Silencer was the most feared ship in the seven seas. “No,” he snorted. “No offense, but if you’re suggesting she’s with him, you’re out of your mind.”_
> 
> _“Ben Solo is not our enemy,” she clarified, a finger of her opposite hand pointed sternly at him. “On the contrary, he is our key to ending this war and Rey’s destiny lies with him. And I can assure you there will come a time where the two of you will meet again. Until then, there are those of us here on Jakku who could certainly benefit from your knowledge of Armitage and his allies.”_
> 
> _Admitting to himself that Maz was telling the truth about Rey was the easiest pill for him to swallow. The other was more like gagging down one of those weevil-infested hardtacks. It wasn’t that he opposed the idea of Ben Solo redeeming himself. But what part did Rey have in it?_
> 
> _However, if there was even the teeniest chance that assisting the people of Jakku could bring her home faster, Finn was prepared to do whatever Maz was asking of him. “Alright,” he sighed, crossing his arms. “I’m listening.”_

That was how Finn found himself going to the Solo’s mansion in the countryside on this peaceful, overcast evening. Without the hubbub of villagers scuttling about, there was only the sound of horse hooves, deriving from the mount he had (permanently) borrowed, clip-clopping down the cobblestone drive. For those born into wealth and could afford to live in the rural fringes outside the rugged Jakku township, it was a luxury. Unlike the commoners’ dusty dirt roads in town.

Of course, he expected nothing less for Governor Organa and Admiral Solo. 

Both were highly respected by the people and reputable to the fight against piracy. Which was fine and dandy, if one  _wasn’t_ a pirate. He hoped his previous coalitions with those onboard the Supremacy wouldn’t discourage the Solos from listening to the messages he had for them. Hoped they wouldn’t think he was lying and present for the sole purpose of acquiring intel for Armitage. If the Governor or Admiral suspected him of treason…

...Well, he tried not to think about what would happen next.

Various greens and mangos lined the stone barrier in front of the Solos’ estate. Steering his mount through its open wrought iron gate, the colossal mansion came into view. Akin to three moderate-sized townhomes arranged side-by-side, with ferns and pygmy palms growing up around the main stairway leading to the entrance. And the structure had more windows with french panes and shutters than he could count on all ten digits. Charming, yet astonishingly  _huge_ for a few people if he counted the butler plus a maid or two. 

Dismounting, Finn patted his mare reassuringly on its rear haunch and strolled on over toward the entryway’s double doors. He knocked thrice on one and waited a minute or so before the door cracked open. 

The butler, he presumed, was approximately Finn’s height, but leaner. Adorning a marigold yellow coat with a damask pattern embellishing the fabric and breeches in a relevant solid shade; an alabaster cravat around his neck, undershirt, leggings, and black buckled shoes. Leaving his hands and clean-shaven, narrow face the only parts of his body exposing the anemic cast to his skin. 

The man stood there, rigid and silent. His expression placid as if it were physically impossible for him to smile or talk. Utilizing the clock he overheard ticking inside, Finn tallied the seconds to which a salutation by the butler had been ignored. He concluded forty-five ticks in his head. 

Perhaps he should be the one who spoke first? 

“Hey, hi!” Finn bumbled anxiously, his left hand waving a half-assed friendly  _hello_ while the other removed the hat on his head and held it low at his sternum. “I um...I’m here to see Governor Organa.” 

“And you are?” the butler poshly implored, measuring Finn. It made the pirate feel no bigger than a shrew. 

“Finn,” he affirmed. “You can tell her Maz Kanata sent me.” 

The butler curtly bowed his head and backed away, widening the gap and giving Finn enough space to enter the dim foyer. Closing the door, the butler promptly turned and addressed him. “Wait here,” he advised, retiring someplace in the home Finn wasn’t permitted to go. 

Waiting, he started browsing over the Solo’s modest furnishings. In juxtapose to the exterior beige, a smokey grey colored the walls, matching slate-tiled floors. Behind him, floor-length merlot tapestries hung above two windows flanking the doorway. A pair of oil paintings inside brass frames were mounted to the wall on his left: individual portraits of a handsome middle-aged man and his wife. 

Straight ahead, past the center table supporting a lovely flower arrangement, a grand stairwell led to the upstairs. A much larger oil painting depicting the canal in Venice decorated the wall opposite the banister. There was a grandiose chandelier suspending from the lofty ceiling, compensating for the diminishing light outdoors. 

And to his right, reserved a quiet study. A few steps sideways gave him the opportunity to slip in and out before anyone caught him snooping. Sheer draperies secreted a massive window in the room’s far back. A pair of high back leather wing chairs bracketed a small round table atop an ecru area rug. The wall parallel to their placement was composed entirely out of built-in shelving units, brandishing early literature by the dozens on each shelf from the floor to the top. 

However, it was the wooden chest, sitting on a mid-level shelf among Greek literature novels and old English textbooks, that caught his eye. Its lock, the shape of a crab, ensuring the domed lid was tightly sealed unless one had the key. Braided octopi tendrils were unprecedentedly engraved into recessed columns on the front and sides. Handles hinged at opposing ends provided a convenient means for transporting it here and there. 

With the tranquility inside the study, he heard his heart beating louder the closer he came toward the chest. _Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump._

Or was it even his own pulse?

“Finn?”

_Shit! Shit shit shit!_

Finn hurried back to the foyer at the sound of the woman’s voice. No thanks to curiosity, he was  _absolutely_ going to be in a heap of trouble; even if he hadn’t disturbed any of the possessions there while doing so. 

But the Governor appeared more inquisitive than she did angry when he emerged from the study at an embarrassing speed. And she was very beautiful, despite her seniority in age. Wearing an exquisite gown in an oatmeal shade of fabric, a floral design made of lace trimming the bodice and skirt. Her greying hair braided and stacked high into a bun on her head. 

“Governor Organa,” he greeted, buoyantly, as if the Governor hadn’t just witnessed him barreling out of the study.

The Governor smiled. Genuine, but a smile nonetheless used in place of a shield. An iron facade disguising her real emotions. A smile that never quite reached her eyes, no matter how hard she forced it to. “Please, call me Leia,” she urged, ever so gallantly. “What can I do for you, Finn?”

Finn took a breath, then said, “I have some information that may be of interest to you. About Armitage Hux.”

Leia studied him momentarily before a frown instantaneously replaced her smile, swallowing dryly. “Let’s continue this conversation in a more private setting, shall we?” she stated, canting her head to their new destination in the house as her fists gathered up her skirts. “Follow me, if you will.”   

She led him past the stairwell and a number of closed-off rooms down the main corridor to a remote sector inside the dwelling. Welcoming the pair inside the office space was a desk and shelving units similar to those inside the study, each supporting rows of numerous books, and a couple of windows overlooking the sea: one parallel to the doorway and another to the right. 

Standing by the window to the west, brooding at rainclouds brewing over the darkening horizon, was a man dressed in Jakku’s customary deep blue naval attire. His greyish hair tied back from the somber face he revealed the minute he saw Leia and Finn pass through the door. 

“Finn,” said Leia, turning, she stopped, positioned between himself and who Finn surmised was the Admiral. “I’d like to introduce you to my husband, Admiral Han Solo.”

Finn, awed by the sight of the legendary Admiral, who was smirking, half-amused, extended his hand and firmly shook his. “It is a  _huge_ honor to finally meet you, Solo. I mean, Admiral. Han, sir. ”

Han grunted. Retrieving his hand, he spared his wife a smirk. “He just called me _Solo_.”

Leia wasn’t so amused. “Please,” she snorted, casting an astringent glare at her husband. “It’s the  _least_ of what I’ve been known to call you. Finn, here, has some information to share with us, regarding Armitage.”

Han sobered at that and knitted his brows, eyeing Finn. “You know Armitage?” 

Finn nodded, his fingers anxiously worrying the brim of his hat. What he was about to admit would either earn himself a place in the fight against piracy or public execution at the townsquare. “Yes, sir,” he asserted.

The Admiral’s jaw flexed. “How?”

“I worked for him, sir.”

Husband and wife exchanged harrowing looks. Placing his weight on a heel, the Admiral put his hands on his hips and glared at Finn accusingly. “So you’re a pirate.”

“ _Was_ ,” Finn countered. “I _was_ a pirate.”

“Then you understand by wanting to help us you’ll be betraying your captain.”

“Yes, sir. I do.” 

“And you want us to believe that you won’t end up doing the same to us?”

“Yes, sir, that’s exactly what I’m asking you guys to do,” explained Finn. “Because as of right now, Hux is the closest he’s ever been to getting what he needs to kill your son. And since my friend is also on the Silencer with Ben _and_ the compass, she’s in danger, too.”

Leia gasped. “She? You said _she_?”

Finn looked at her and nodded. At that, there was a notable shift in her demeanor—and in Han’s. Less prim and averse and suddenly more willing to set decades of antipathy for pirates aside and acquiesce. 

“Alright, kid,” sighed Han. Flattening his lips, he gestured a hand for Finn to proceed. “Let’s hear it.”

For the first time that evening, Finn felt he could relax. His shoulders fell as he exhaled noisily. “Okay,” he started. “I’m gonna go out on a limb and bet that Hux won’t be stupid enough to go after the Silencer alone. A ship carrying that much artillery power, it would be suicide if he did. Not to mention its crew is literally unkillable.” 

“You’re implying that Hux may rally reinforcements first?” Leia asked.

“As I said, I can’t be certain,” Finn added. “But lately, there’s been talks among his men of this fleet in Dagobah, the First Order.” 

Han scoffed. “The First Order?” 

Leia glowered at Han. “You told me they were eliminated?” she sneered, folding her arms.

“So you know of them?” inquired Finn, his query aimed at both Leia and Han.

“Unfortunately,” Han quipped. “Mostly stragglers from old pirate regimes before the laws here on piracy were strictly enforced. Rather than oppose Snoke, they joined forces. Then after...” Pausing, massaging his chin, he stole a sidelong glance at his wife. “After losing Ben to the Silencer, we thought we had snuffed them out.”

Leia’s head shook in disbelief. ”We have the numbers,” she pressed. “If we can spare the men, we  _have_ to bide our son and the girl some time. That and he has two weeks before he comes home, Han. _Two weeks._ ”

“Leia, I know,” the Admiral groused. “But if our friend here is correct, Armitage already has a few days’ headstart to Dagobah. If it’s revenge he wants, then the best we can do to help Ben is to stay put.”

Finn figured it was best that he keep quiet and allow the Solos to call the shots. Plot out their next plan of action. In the meantime, he hoped and prayed that Maz was right about Rey. 

**

Onboard the Silencer, the crew worked tirelessly, heaving the last of the Supremacy’s dead into the sea. Blood was washed away by the raindrops showering the deck. Debris was swept and tossed aside. What damage was dealt in its hull had begun repairing itself. Similar to how damaged coral would, little by little and piece by piece. Alive like an actual reef. Come sunrise the next morning, there would be no indication of war having transpired there. 

However, not all memoirs of that night were so easy to erase. 

While Kylo was tending to the wound on her arm, seated across from her, his legs spread apart for her knee to comfortably rest in between, Rey was fixed on the blood staining the cabin floor where her attacker had fallen. Guilt rising in place of her shock. Her stomach still felt nauseous. And she was struggling to keep that strong urge to vomit at bay. 

Did war have this effect on everyone? Or was it weakness drowning her in its misery?  

Then, there was Kylo. Feeling the captain’s hand grip her beneath her bare bicep, two of his tentacles wringing out a now crimson-dyed cloth into a bucket as he finished wiping the blood from her skin, reminded her it was Ren who had saved her life earlier. He was so calm about it now. So well put together. Unaffected, whereas she was striving to cope. Like he had been culling wheat fields all evening rather than enemy pirates. 

“Does it get easier?” Rey quietly asked.

His forehead crinkled in response, more centered on stretching a tentacle for the clean fabric strip splayed out on the table. Since there were no proper bandages available to dress her injury, Ren made use of the fabric on her torn sleeve. “Is what easier?” he nonchalantly replied. 

“Killing,” she whispered. 

Ren didn’t reply immediately. For someone who had spent years plundering the Caribbean, his muteness surprised her. He motioned for Rey to hold her arm steady instead as he began dressing her wound, alternating his grip on the frayed material with a tentacle and hand. “In a perfect world...” he finally said, wincing. “Yes. If it comes down to your life being on the line versus your opponent’s, it’ll  _always_ be your own ass you choose to save. War is messy. Complicated. No moral grey where it’s every man for himself. Makes it easier to forget when they’re haunting your memories years down the road.”

It was—not the most uplifting thing he’d ever said to her. But if there was one quality she’d come to understand and accept about Kylo Ren, he was brutally honest. Spoke precisely what was on his mind and sugar-coated nothing. As Poe had told her once before. She appreciated it as much as she also hated that it made him such an asshole sometimes. Yet in his eyes, in his touch, however simple it may be, there was a gentleness often compensating for the harshness in his words. 

And  _sometimes_ , his tact wasn’t so aloof.

“Rey,” he softly entreated after sitting for a minute in silence. “There was no other option. You did what you had to do. He would have killed you if you hadn’t.”

Rey tucked her bottom lip under her front incisors and nodded. “I know,” she murmured. Believing herself and him. “You’re right.” 

Ren smirked, knotting the ends of the cloth together. “I know,” he preened.

Rey rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Always so sure of yourself, aren’t you?” she chided lightly. “I’ll be surprised if your head doesn’t pop one of these days.” 

“Runs in the family, unfortunately,” he snorted, his forearms resting on his thighs, fingers brushing her knee. “Though my mother would say that I’m more like my father.”

Rey tilted her head, surveying him. “Are you?”

He thought about that for a moment. “It’s hard to say. Both are engrossed in professions they’re passionate about. And both can be stubborn as fuck.”

She laughed at the snide remark. “You’d mentioned you and your father had been in the navy,” she drawled, leaning forward in her seat, her fingers, interlaced, barely touching his right knee. “Is that where you learned to sword fight?” 

“No,” he scoffed. “My father had me training when I was ten, two hours a day in the afternoon. Three, as I grew older. Said it was only fair that I learn to use and appreciate a weapon early that’ll one day be my lifeline.”

“Seems your father was a wise man,” she smiled. 

Ren nodded. “I could teach you if you want,” he coyly suggested. “Chances of survival for a novice with minimal training is better than someone who’s never wielded a sword before.” 

Rey drew in a shallow breath, eyes falling to her hands. “I don’t know…”

“What if I’m not there to save you next time?”

“We can just hope there won’t be a next time,” she countered surly. 

“Not likely,” he muttered bitterly. “Hux wants the compass. And I’m positive he knows we have it. Once he’s built himself another crew, he’ll be back.”

Their gazes connected again. “Why does he want it so bad?” asked Rey, furrowing her brows. 

“Revenge,” he lowly rasped. 

Her frown deepened. “As in he wants to kill you?” she queried, aware that it wasn’t impossible. Having loopholes within immortality made sense, actually. And Ren had informed her a night ago, stabbing the former captain’s heart had been the only way for him to kill Snoke. She scrunched her nose, puzzled. “I—don’t understand. Why would Hux be looking for the compass if it's your heart he needs?”

Ren was quiet, emotionless. Like he was  _there_ but in the same sense, he  _wasn’t_ there. As if his body was here, present in the flesh, a hairbreadth from her fingertips and his heart was somewhere else. 

_Somewhere else. Somewhere..._

“Oh my god,” she breathed, the unthinkable hitting her square in the chest. “No! No, because if Hux is looking for it, then that means you’ve—.” Her palm covered her mouth. She couldn’t say it.  _Refused_ to finish that despicable sentence. Because saying Kylo had removed his own heart, intentionally, out loud, meant it was true. Even though the blaring silence from him made it painfully clear. “ _Why_?”  

His eyes averted, downcast. “I was ashamed. Angry and bitter. _So_ fucking bitter and I lost hope. I knew there was a possibility I’d be here forever and I couldn’t handle it. Knew that once the curse had taken its toll, I could never be who I was.” He looked at her and frowned. “This life—it’s easier when you’re numb. Easier when you don’t have to think or feel and you can just—exist and not give a shit.”

Everything was suddenly becoming more transparent now for Rey. Reasons she’d thought him pretentious and arrogant only to discover those reasons ran deeper. “I called you a heartless bastard that first night,” she murmured through the fingers on her lips. Blinking so to lessen the sting behind her eyes. “Kylo, I’m  _so_ sorry. I didn’t know you then and those things I said, I didn’t mean them. Not really.” 

Ren sneered at that. “No, don’t you dare apologize. I was an ass and I deserved everything you handed to me that night,” he asserted. Disgruntled, her hand falling to her lap, Rey opened her mouth to protest but Kylo leaned forward and pressed his forefinger pad to her lips, silencing her before proceeding in his rant. “What I _didn’t_ deserve was how you made me feel when I first saw you.” His eyes darted to her mouth then back to her eyes. “Having you here, Rey, you’ve made me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling. Things I didn’t know I was capable of feeling without a heart and yet for some ungodly reason, I still do. And damn it, it’s killing me. It’s killing me because you deserve the person I used to be—not _this_.” 

Rey didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know if she should tell him she was having similar feelings about him or if this was his way of saying that whatever was happening between them shouldn’t be pursued. Her body and her mind were pulling her in two different places. One saying this was Kylo Ren, the cursed pirate captain who was still very much a lethal killing machine. But her heart...Her heart was saying otherwise. That inside the beast who was Kylo Ren was the son of Han Solo clawing his way to the surface. 

She couldn’t say who ended up making the first move. She was staring into his eyes one minute and the next they were closing, her head lolling back as Ren lowered his hand from her lips to her hands folded in her lap and he leaned forward to kiss her. It wasn’t earth-shattering or a breathtaking sort of kiss. Matter of fact, it was the complete opposite. Like he was breathing new life into her rather than stealing her breath away. Filling a part of her up she hadn’t realized was barren and empty. His lips were so warm and soft where they should have been cold without a heart pumping the blood flow. And under them, she felt whole and complete, safe and at home. 

He was pulling back while she was still blissfully hovering on Cloud Nine. As she peered at him through hooded eyes, Ren was staring at her expectantly. Waiting for her to say something - _anything_ \- about what had just happened. Instead of commenting on the kiss, she asked him the first question that came to mind. “The man before the curse, who was he?”

He hesitated, then the faintest of smiles graced his lips. “I was—,” he cut himself off. Squeezing her hands, he abruptly added, “Am...I am Ben Solo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll, I think it's time we put those tentacles to better use. _*grins slyly*_  
>  So, are we thinking Finn found Ben's heart? And what's up with that First Order now...


	11. North

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A weekend update for you all! A little shorter than I'd anticipated but I'll explain in the end notes. As always, thank you for the continued love and support for the story. <3 And a special thank you to @mirrastupar for the amazing manip of Rey in the moodboard!
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) for giving this a quick read through for me. Also, feel free to come bug me on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29).

Rey awoke early at sunrise the next morning, a soft haze of natural light pouring through the cabin’s rear window. Candles that were once burning brightly now had tufts of smoke rising from their wicks, narrow streams of melted wax spilling down from their caps. Not the usual view she’d grown accustomed to seeing upon waking on the Silencer every day. 

The tubular creatures were missing from the overhead rafters. Peace in the room wasn’t disturbed by obnoxious loud snores. And she wasn’t in her hammock downstairs, swaying side to side. Instead, there was a steady rhythmic rise and fall of the sleeping figure’s chest she was lying against. Sitting on his lap, her back supported by a muscular arm as her feet dangled over the chair arm with a familiar claw draping across her thighs. 

 _Ben…_ She was inside the cabin with Ben. 

Her memory foggy from sleepiness, Rey forgot she had asked him the night before if she could spend the night with him. Without a bed in the cabin, a desk chair had sufficed. Even if it was a tad uncomfortable and cramped for two people to share, Ben hadn’t cared; neither had Rey.

Allowing space for her head to rest on his right shoulder, his tentacles had migrated left, meticulously weaving themselves over and under, in and out, as a loom would have functioned. Operating as if each was wired with a mind of its own. She found that fascinating. 

Her skin prickled at the memory of how his fingers had lovingly caressed her ribs while they talked, tracing mindless loops and curves over the material of her vest. As both drifted into their own quiet slumber later in the night, Rey dreamt of their kiss. 

Before Ben, nobody on Jakku had ever held her interest. Never came close to experiencing this type of intimacy or emotional connection with someone. To Rey, the feeling was so new, so unorthodox. She hadn’t the faintest idea what she wanted to do with these emotions bubbling inside.  

Like now, for instance, since she was wide awake, was she supposed to wake him up also? Or did she let him sleep a little longer? Having accepted Ben’s offer to teach her a few basic sword-fighting skills, practice was set to begin this morning. She was desperate to change her clothes sometime before then; however, waking the captain was inevitable if she were to move.    

Deliberating her options, Rey eventually found herself enamored by the constellation of beauty marks on his face. Beneath the black bandana that he wore under his hat, was a mole directly above his left browline and a trio where his nose would be. The discoloration and flaws on his skin made them fairly difficult to see, but they were there if anyone cared to observe closely. She may have been  _slightly_ jealous of the long eyelashes on his lids. 

Smiling, she wondered what else there was to Ben Solo’s true identity. 

As it were currently, she only had enough pieces to create this vague picture of who he was in her head. Someone that was strong in both stature and mind, a man who loved and cared so deeply he had cut his own heart out after becoming what he and his family despised. His honey-brown eyes, eyelashes, and beauty marks. And his  _voice_ —God, she’d begrudged that sultry voice of his since the first day she met him. 

At this point, it should have been easy to admit she was crazy about him. If she were to read between the lines, Ben had all but confessed his love for her the night before. Yet she still couldn’t decide if the palpitations he made her feel were acceptable or not. It felt so right being here with him, but what if her instincts were serving her wrong?

She wished she could talk to someone. Someone who could assure her it was okay to feel so strongly for this man; who also happened to be responsible for instilling fear into the hearts of many. 

_Shit. How did this get to be so complicated?_

Exasperated, Rey sighed as she pressed her cheek to his shoulder again and closed her eyes. Thinking maybe the extra sleep and relishing in his closeness would do her some good. Or maybe she just needed to stop thinking altogether…

Her eyes sprung open then as she felt a thumb lazily stroking her side. Lifting her gaze higher, she saw Ben peering down at her, fatigue brimming his eyes. “Morning,” he greeted, huskily. 

“Good morning,” she hummed sleepily. Pushing the prior thoughts of him aside, she leaned upright and met him midway for a kiss. Warmth flourishing inside her chest, she felt as if her heart was being squeezed. “I hope I didn’t wake you?” she whispered as he drew back. 

“No.” He gave her a tired smirk. “I’m a light sleeper. You doing alright?” 

Worrying her bottom lip, she briefly considered sharing her prior doubts with him. But considering he was already warding off hoards of his own inner demons, she quashed the idea and figured it was best she didn’t pile more onto his shoulders. 

Anyhow, she’d gotten this far in life alone—coming to terms with these feelings for him was nothing she couldn’t tackle by herself, right?

_Alas._

Nodding, she smiled reassuringly and put her hand on his claw. “Yeah...I’m okay. Thanks for letting me stay last night.” 

“Sure.” His smile broadened—roguish, almost. “Safe to say, I think it's something I could get used to.” 

Pink coloring her cheeks, Rey averted her eyes, deliberating to ask if he really meant that. Before she could comment further on staying here with him again, he began shifting his hips in the seat, grimacing. It must have been his way of implying that his ass was numb after sitting in the same spot for hours but wasn’t bothering to ask her to move. 

Which was fine, she reasoned, her limbs needed to be stretched too.  _And_ she could go change without feeling guilty for waking him. 

She apologized and told him as much. Grasping his shoulder for leverage, Rey swung both of her feet from the chair to the floor, ignoring the captain’s feeble pleas for her to wait. It grew into this awkward transition of her having to plant a boot on the ground for stability and wriggling her buttocks over a hard lump on his groin; which she  _initially_ thought was that fancy buckle on his belt. He sucked in a breath as she pulled herself upright, oblivious as to why she heard him stifle a moan. 

She faced him the instant she was on her feet. Scoffing, she noticed he was oddly redder than a beet peel in the face, knuckles a pale sage from his hand firmly clasping the chair arm. Her mouth parted to ask if he was okay till her eyes dipped lower and landed on the tented material at his crotch. 

_Oh...Oh! W-Was that? Had she…? Oh._

Rey dry swallowed and pulled her gaze from what was  _definitely_ a severe case of morning wood. Fighting the urge to laugh, she cleared her throat, cheeks flaming, and began stretching her arms behind her shoulders, fixated on a knot in the floorboard beside her left boot. As Ben stood to readjust his—problem, she reminded herself it was most certainly rude to stare when temptation thought it was funny to taunt her with stealing another peek at him. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen a dick before!

But, _damn…_

“I, uh—Lessons. This morning,” he stammered. Rey took it as a sign that it was safe for her to look. His face didn’t appear to be quite as flushed though judging by how his now unraveled tentacles were fidgeting and the clenched fist at his side, he was clearly humiliated. He stood there at an arm’s length, grounded beside the chair like he had some sort of deadly viral disease he didn’t want her to catch. “We’re still on, right?”  

Rey nodded and wet her lips. “Yeah! Yeah, absolutely,” she assured, casting a thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the Silencer’s bow. “I just wanted to change real quick. If that’s okay?”

His browline furrowed. “Right, of course.” He proceeded then to add, “Take your time. There’s no rush.”

**

Closing the cabin door behind her, Rey puffed out a breath in the cool morning air. The vacancy of the upper deck was peaceful at this hour. Perfect for harnessing her thoughts of the morning while crew members down below in the barracks were still rising from their sleep. 

Rey knew this training was important and that Ben had every reason to be concerned for her safety should the Supremacy return. She  _had_ to focus and give it her hundred percent today. Even if it meant her feigning awareness of the captain suffering a massive boner and to stop questioning what he was doing now that she was gone. 

It wasn’t helping her earlier predicament any, either. Above all else, if anything, it would result in her doing something embarrassing around the captain. She couldn’t let that happen: for both their sakes.  

Striding across the quarterdeck to the stairs, she heard a man’s voice calling her name. She craned her neck toward the sails as she was stepping off the bottom step and found Poe climbing down the closest mast, leading straight to the crow’s nest. Bee-Bee, clambering ahead of his master, leapt to the ground and landed on all fours in front of her. 

Rey grinned at the creature screeching wildly. Grateful for a distraction from her lascivious thoughts about Ben, she knelt before the cursed monkey and greeted him, her hand extended for his to slap. “Hey there, buddy.” 

“You my relief for the day?” jested Poe, joining the pair.

“Ha!  _No_ ,” she snorted and rose to full height. “Since when did you start holding night watch?”

Poe shrugged his shoulders loosely. “I volunteer on occasion. When you’ve been on a ship for nearly a decade, you gotta spice up the old routine somehow.” Crossing his arms, he squinted at a sail. “Gives me a chance to think about shit, too.”

Rey frowned and nodded. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” she conceded softly. Seeing this could be an opportunity for her to seek some advice, she nibbled on her bottom lip and folded her arms. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he affirmed, knitting a brow at Rey. “What’s up?”

“It’s...kinda personal. I understand if you don’t wanna answer.” A pause lingered in precedence then. “Before the curse, did you have anyone back home? You know, that you were seeing?”

Taken aback by the query, Poe spent a minute or more scanning the sails. “Um...no,” he said, blinking. “Well, yeah, there was  _someone_ but not on Jakku. It’s been a long time. A _really_ long time. Like, back when I was younger and very stupid.” Pinching his lips, he shook his head and sighed. “We didn’t exactly leave on good terms last time I saw her either.”

“Oh…” she scoffed. It wasn’t what she had been hoping to hear; apparently, Poe was as good as Rey at this whole relationship thing. “I’m sorry, I was just wondering…”

Poe studied her intently. “Why do I get the feeling this has to do with you and the captain and not me?” 

Her nose wrinkled at that and began toeing the floorboard with her boot. “I’ve never been through this before.” Thinking, her tongue slid across her top molars. “The problem is, I don’t know if I _should_ be doing it?”

Poe hesitated. “Because of what?” he gently pressed. “Of what he’s done? Of who he is?”

Rey flattened her lips and nodded. Yet by doing so, she felt ashamed, hypocritical for letting her knowledge of the captain’s horrific past to betray what her heart was informing her of Ben in the present. 

“I won’t ask you to forget his crimes,” said Poe in earnest. “I was there through the worst of them and not a day goes by where the guilt doesn’t eat at you. You constantly feel like you’re falling down this black hole but you never come close to reaching the bottom, and you wonder what will happen when you finally do. Until you realize, one day, you never want to find out cause you’ve been given a reason to fight for something that’s bigger than your hatred. Or in his case, _someone_.”

Allowing a minute for his words to process, a warm smile curled on her lips. “Has anyone ever told you you should’ve been a scholar instead of a pirate?” 

Poe chuckled. “I do have my moments. Did it help at least?”

“Yeah, pretty sure it did.” Still smiling, she bowed her head. “A lot, actually.”

“Good.” At that, Bee-Bee scrambled up the pirate’s sleeve, assuming his perch on his master’s shoulder as if the gnarly creature had sensed beforehand that Poe was readying to leave. “Anyways, I better get. Even the undead must sleep. Got any plans today?”

“Training,” she mumbled. “Ben insists that I learn to use a sword after last night.” 

Poe grinned at her mentioning the captain’s given name. It didn’t occur to her that the captain had always been referred to as Kylo Ren, by the crew and first mate, till a second afterward. “Can’t say that I blame him either. Ben’s got a good arm,” he winked. “Don’t let him be too hard on you.”

Rey chortled a little and bid him farewell for the morning. As Poe retired to the officer’s chamber at a level underneath Ben’s cabin, she turned and hurried toward the bow stairwell to retrieve her clothes from the crew quarters. Swapping her ruined apparel for the khaki trousers and white linen tunic she’d worn the first day she came aboard. And the compass she’d tucked away inside her pocket. 

_The compass…_

Of course, how had she forgotten about the only gadget in the universe that was capable of showing her where her heart truly lies? Could guide her to what she had been desperately wanting to find. 

Love. Family. Her belonging in all of this craze.  

Weeks ago, Rey had believed the compass was leading her to her parents. To the cure which would free Ben Solo of his curse and bring him home. Yet when she emerged onto the Silencer’s upper deck, compass in hand, its needle pointing north, she had never been more certain of her feelings for the captain when the gadget confirmed she had already found her belonging. 

Her home. 

And Ben was waiting for her there on the quarterdeck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised some tentacle kink in this one...BUT we needed Rey to come to terms with some of her insecurities and doubts and get her to the same level as Ben. Next chapter, TENTACLE KINK I SWEAR! And Ben's POV too. ;)
> 
> P.S. This also gives us some extra Reylo fluff before the pain train comes in...  
> P.P.S. You guys trust me right? Yes? Okay, good! :)


	12. Bared Souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 words...TENTACLES and SMUT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO it's finally here!!! As promised <3 If smut isn't your thing or if tentacle kink makes you squirmy, well...you might wanna skip the last scene. ;) 
> 
> Thank you to my awesome beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) for giving this a read through after a long day!! 
> 
> Come bug me on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29)

The crew watched Rey and the captain fight on the Silencer’s main deck. As their blades collided, Ben parried Rey’s attack. Blocking her, he forced her back and ended with his blade inches from her throat. Disgruntled to have lost to him again, she surrendered.

Smug, Ben smirked and lowered the weapon to his side. “And again,” he crowed, announcing himself the winner for that round.

Breathless, Rey flexed her grip and grit her teeth. “Damn it,” she sneered. Loud enough for Ben to have heard over the boisterous whistles and cheers. 

“You ready to quit, Turner?” he asked. “Or shall we go another round?”

After Ben taught her the sword fighting basics that morning - footing, techniques, and whatnot - Rey had suggested that she and Ben spar together. He’d gladly accepted, establishing the rules so she needed to disarm him in order to win. Several sparring rounds later in the Caribbean heat, her skin was dampened by a sheen of sweat and she had wispy stragglers coming loose from her ponytail sticking to her face.

Giving herself a moment to recoup, Rey shook her head and snorted. “Give up? Not a chance,” she retorted. “I _almost_ had you!”

 _Almost_ was merely an understatement. 

For the last few rounds, Ben had made a habit of handing Rey the advantage, realizing his error he would immediately recover the upper-hand. It wasn’t that he had done it on purpose. Rey had fiercely proven herself a worthy opponent and a fast learner. He had just been—distracted. 

Inconveniently, years of him starving for a woman’s affection were catching up to him. To say he had been humiliated during the earlier incident inside his cabin couldn’t begin to cover his level of embarrassment. Because  _nothing_ was worse than having an erection and feeling like a newborn virgin all over again, in front of a woman he was madly crazy about. 

And not only had Rey let him kiss her once in less than twenty-four hours...but  _twice_. Twice the amount he thought he deserved. 

His dick seemed to have traitorously thought otherwise. 

Thankfully, not  _all_ of him had been altered by the curse. Needless to say, it surprised him Rey had appeared the slightest bit curious. Or so he had thought, at least. Perhaps it had been the hormonal imbalance in his brain that made him think Rey was resisting the urge to look while he talked himself out of a full-blown erection. He didn’t blame her though if that wasn't so. 

He did resemble a goddamn squid, after all!

But even when he was more human than beast, Ben had always been self-conscious of his size. Women who were labeled the stereotypical virginal type (like Rey) hardly ever ventured past second base with him; whereas those at the tavern, the every-size-is-welcome sort of type, preferred shillings on a nightstand next to marriage and raising a family. He may or may not have known that based on experience.

Now that his long-lost inner virgin had awakened again, he blamed his failure to focus on Rey’s sweat-drenched tunic exposing her pert nipples underneath. His usual coordinated moves and attacks were substituted with wicked fantasies of him tearing the fabric from her lithe figure. 

Okay, so her anatomy  _might_ have been to blame had the captain actually lost…

Remembering that it was  _he_ who was playing Rey’s teacher then, he needed to enlighten her of her mistakes that round. “Almost?” he echoed, his elevated browline wrinkling his forehead below the bandana he donned. “I spotted numerous breaks in your form where I could’ve easily killed you and your swings were too wide.” 

Scoffing, Rey scowled at the reprimand. “In all fairness, you have—what, _years_ of experience over my two hours’ worth?”

“Years don’t mean jack shit to your enemy, Rey,” he snarled. “In the real world, there is no room for second and third chances in battle. You fuck up, you die, plain and simple. But  _everyone_ has a weakness. Your highest skilled fighters are no exception.” 

“Everyone besides you, you mean,” she muttered, ridding her forehead of perspiration with the back of her hand. Clearly tired and losing steam. 

Taking a breath, Ben stepped forward and brought his face closer to hers, catching her gaze. “How many years did you survive alone on that island? I have no doubts that you could kick my ass if you wanted to.” He smirked at the faint chuckle the comment extracted from her, and she nodded in agreement. “ _Focus_. Visualize me as your enemy and do _not_ hold back.” 

Nodding, Rey spared the men to her right a glance and exhaled deeply. “Okay.”

“Ignore them,” he grimaced. “It’s just us. Clear your head. Find an opening and use it to your benefit. Whatever it takes.”

“You make it sound so easy,” she quipped lightly.

“You’d be surprised just how easy it is once you understand your enemy,” he countered. Seeing this had apparently given her confidence a boost, Ben paced several steps back from her. Both assuming the correct posture for the beginning pose: knees bent and legs evenly spaced apart, swords extended and angled, elbows in line with their designated shoulders. 

“Do not hold back,” he repeated for good measure. 

Intentionally hurting Rey was undoubtedly out of the question, but what she didn’t know didn’t hurt. It gave her the gumption she needed to finish what they had started. To beat him whilst giving Ben a peace of mind that she could hold her own against a man of his expertise and build. If anything ever happened to her…

Well, there would be hell to pay. 

“I won’t,” Rey promised with a straight face. Noting the seriousness in her expression and tone, Ben knew she was sincere in her threat. 

 _Good_. It was precisely what he had been hoping for. _No holding back._

After a few moments had passed where neither appeared willing to budge, Rey advanced. Her aggressiveness automatically putting the captain on a defensive front. As opposed to her consistent negligence in the previous fights, her movement and strikes were more facile and precise this time. His feet maneuvered over the floorboards according to her steps, eluding her lunges and jabs. 

He had to admit, witnessing this side of Rey was quite...invigorating. 

Blocking Rey’s attack at the first sign of an outlet, he pushed her back toward the ship’s nearest ledge. Closer and closer, she came to pressing her backside against the Silencer’s siding and yet she exhibited no signs of yielding. Not until she had been barricaded between himself and the hull. 

Hurling his blade down from above, Rey successfully blocked the captain’s attack. The metal on their weapons clashing the instant her hazels met his brown. For how long they had stood there that way, Ben couldn’t say. Finding the longer he stared into her eyes, the longer he couldn’t breathe. 

She was so beautiful, this scavenger girl from Jakku. And why she looked at him this way, he hadn’t the slightest idea. The purity in her heart and soul made her everything he wasn’t in this world. 

And he was so fucking in love with her. 

In unison, they lowered their swords. Placing her free hand at the crook of his shoulder and neck, Rey rose up on her toes and kissed him soundly. Charged with an implicitly raw and unexpected passion. Something that made the life inside him stir and his body sing a harmony as equally sweet as her honeyed taste. 

Grips loosened on their weapons, metal clanged upon contact with the wood flooring as the swords fell to the ground at their sides. His hand clasping the back of her skull, holding her in place as Rey held onto his shoulders, pressing her chest as close as she could to his without damaging his tentacled beard and deepening the kiss. The ocean waves calmly thrashing, the wind cutting through the sails, the hoots and whoops from his men - Poe ushering them away to give the couple privacy - all of it faded to black. To the farthest recesses of his mind. 

The only thing that mattered to him was Rey.

It wasn’t till they parted for air, Ben realized he was without a weapon. “You cheated,” he admonished hoarsely. 

Pleased with herself, Rey’s smile feigned innocence. “Whatever it takes, remember?”  

Amused by her answer, he snorted and moved his hand to tuck a sweaty mass of hair behind her ear. “You _do_ realize though you couldn’t get away with this during a real fight.” 

Huffing, she looped her arms around his neck. “How about you shut up and kiss me, Ben?” 

**

Ascending the quarterdeck stairs was a lot trickier when Ben was half-blind and more centered on kissing Rey. But with her arms and legs clinging to him for dear life, it was difficult to resist when her lips were  _right there_ within reach. 

God, he was pathetic. 

Relying on his claw for grabbing the rail for balance, his hand provided her backside support. Clumsily, he took one step at a time, stumbling and almost falling over the last. Her laughter revealing the cherubic dimples on her cheeks. He’d trip a million times more just to see them again. 

Once they were inside the cabin, Rey uncrossed her ankles and the captain settled her onto her feet as he turned to lock the door. “That would’ve been a lot easier if you had just let me walk, you know,” she flippantly remarked. 

“It was worth it,” he rasped. Turning, his back to the door, his hand reached for her hip and he pulled her flush against him, her fingers gripping the fabric at either side of his creamy white tunic. “I wouldn’t have let you fall.”

“I know,” she whispered, a smile playing at both corners of her mouth, red and swollen. “And I trust you with my life,” she said rising up on her tiptoes and capturing his lips. 

For what hours remained of the day, Ben would’ve been perfectly content kissing her, touching her. _Fuck._ He absolutely  _loathed_ working with one hand when there was so much of her he wanted to explore. To commit those subtle rises and dips of her curves to his memory, every gasp and sigh included. 

Just in case...

Abandoning her lips, he showered kisses along the slender column of her neck. Cradling her jaw, he followed the shell of her ear, leading a straight path to her pulse. He lingered there the longest, his teeth nipping ever so gently then reverting to licking and sucking the blemish left in his wake. Marking her so every mortal on both land and sea would recognize her as his. The mere aspect of others seeing the evidence of him there was making him hard. 

“Ben,” she breathed, the worry threaded in her tone giving him pause. Drawing back, he perceived a pale blush dusting her cheeks, reluctance dappling her orbs and her lips were parted like she didn’t quite know how to address the issue. His mind went to the most obvious answer before she could even express what was wrong. 

Rey was a virgin. 

 _Nice one, ass fuck._ Fearing his selfishness had already blown his chances with her. He had been taking as he well pleased for years and not once did it occur to him he should be asking her this stuff. 

“Shit—Rey, I’m so sorry,” he entreated, his thumb caressing her under her jawline. Hoping it wasn’t too late to start backpedaling because Christ he was bad at this whole apologizing thing. “I got ahead of myself and I shouldn’t have. We don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want to.”

Hearing himself speak the implications of them _maybe_ having sex was seriously astonishing. Even if all the riches in the world were being waved in his face, he still couldn’t fathom looking at his own reflection. Yet for reasons unbeknownst to him, Rey was always looking at him like he was normal. 

Rey blinked. “Oh! I um…” Snorting nervously, she glanced down at her hands fingering the bottom hem of his shirt. “That’s—not what I was gonna say, actually.” Lifting her gaze, her face was a shade deeper of red. “I um...I was just wondering if I could see you—without _this_.” At that, she gave a slight tug on his shirt. 

Ben stared at her in bewilderment. Had he just heard her correctly? She  _wanted_ to see him shirtless? “You—You’re sure?” he sputtered, unable to vocalize anything bigger than single-syllable words. “I’m...You’re not missing much, really.” 

Furrowing her brows at him, Rey frowned and cocked her head. “You’re  _not_ a monster, Ben,” she stated softly. “Not to me. And I’m asking you to trust in me as I do you.” 

How was he supposed to argue that? 

If only she were aware of the things he had laying at her feet. That it was her love he needed for the spell to break and he was throwing himself at her one splintered piece at a time. He could tell her he loved her and pray there was a possibility she felt the same. But telling her the cure then confessing his love seemed—wrong. Manipulative. Like he was guilt-tripping her into speaking it sooner, out of pity, than waiting till she was ready and saying it from the heart. 

At this point, he knew all about waiting. And knowing him and how terrible he was at expressing words, he would probably fuck it up anyway. 

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Ben nodded and his hand fell from her face, his eyes flicking down to her hands, grasping his shirt. Allowing her to help push the garment up and over his head. Carefully, she pulled the neck opening passed his tentacled beard, depositing the shirt on the floor. For a minute or perhaps longer, Rey did nothing but stare. Taking him in. Meanwhile, his eyes were scanning hers for signs of disgust. Anything that signified she should’ve taken his advice and ran. 

He found none. 

Working her bottom lip, she pressed her palm flat to his left pec, then did the same to the other on his right. Ben held his breath and shivered in response to the heat of direct skin on skin contact. Her gaze veered up at him and she cracked the smallest hint of a smile. He smirked in return and proceeded to observe as curiosity carried her away. Not once mentioning his skin’s flaky appearance. It was the first time he had ever been remotely at ease with this version of himself. 

Using the pad of her index finger, she outlined the muscle grooves indicating his pecs. Descending to his abdomen, she toyed her nail beneath his navel and grazed the band of his trousers. Her touch causing his skin to prickle and his nipples to pebble. Rey also seemed to like that. 

If Ben had to be bluntly honest, his dick did too. _A lot._ If she kept exploring him this way, he wasn’t going to survive without busting internally. 

“Rey,” he groaned, the strain in his voice earning her awareness. Though instead of meeting his gaze, what grabbed her attention was the serrated scar half-hidden beneath his tentacled veil, dividing the plane above his left breast. He  _knew_ she understood what it was without needing him to explain. 

Rey frowned and looked at him. “Does it hurt?” she asked quietly. 

It had hurt like hell, at first; the numbness aftereffect hadn’t been immediate. Leaving his heart behind on land had been more excruciating than the gruesome procedure removing it. Like he had continuously been punched by an ironclad fist with barbed wire for knuckles. The longer he stayed close to land, the worse it got. Now, the incision had been healed for a while and the pang from his absent heart had ebbed.  

“Not anymore,” he told her. 

For a moment, the cabin fell silent before either made a move. Her right hand still on his scar, Rey slid the other to his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. So delicate it was like she was whispering to him her deepest secret. Ben was afraid this was all a dream. A figment in the back of his mind projecting the image reels of everything he was longing to have onto the backs of his eyes. Terrified of opening them and finding she had been torn away. 

No, Rey wasn’t a specter that resided in his dreams. She was real and kissing him and reminding him he was given a purpose in this life worth living for. 

Shifting her tactics some, her right hand slid down his arm to his claw, resting her other upon his bare chest. Kisses replacing her hand, she drifted along the distorted flesh. Any man on earth would have crumbled when provided such care, but for Ben—she made him feel whole. 

Finished, she kissed him deeply. As Ben was reaching for her his breath hitched, releasing a guttural moan into the kiss when she tried groping his cock through his slacks. Hindered by the act, he broke the kiss and grabbed her hand instead. Rey peered up at him, confusion carved on her face. 

“Rey,” he frowned. “It’s okay...I—I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable and like you owe me this.” 

Rey waved him off. “If I were uncomfortable, you would know,” she affirmed. “I’m very well aware of what I can and can’t handle. Ben, what we’re doing here, I _want_ to do it with you.”

“I’m not saying you’re incompetent in making your own choices. I want this as much as you do. It’s just…” Scoffing, Ben averted his gaze, studying their now intertwined fingers. “It’s been—a  _very_ long time since I’ve done this with anyone. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

It wasn’t the  _whole_ truth, per se. But it wasn’t lying either when he had solely omitted the embarrassing facts. Anyhow, he was dead set against making love to her and claiming her virginity while he was cursed. He’d reserve that for the future. A future where she was in love with him as much as he was in love with her.

Rey smiled in understanding and shrugged. “Well, lucky for you, I have no one else to compare to.” Wetting her lips suggestively, she extended her opposite hand to his beard and fondled one of his many tentacles. “And I happen to know of an excellent teacher who can help me.” 

 _Oh, she was good._  

His cock twitching was the conviction he needed to let her go. He nodded to her the  _okay_ and watched as her deft fingers unfastened each clasp on his trousers. His gaze flitting down then directly back up, alternating from her hands to the tiny micro-expressions on her face as she tugged the undergarments below his waist, his erection jutting proudly above the apparel. A cold draft emanating from the cracks within the Silencer’s framework sent a cold chill crawling up his vertebrae. 

Or perhaps it was nerves from having those vulnerabilities on full display. 

For roughly a millisecond her eyes rounded, fleetingly surprised. Whether or not Rey was nervous from there onward, she never let it show. Ben couldn’t help but suspect she was having second thoughts, weighing better options. But as if he had accidentally voiced his concerns, she proved him otherwise. 

Deliberate and slow, she ghosted a finger up the veiny underside of his cock, gliding from the hilt and stopping below the tip. Intrigued by his arousal leaking from its bulbous end, she paused, a smirk splitting her face. One by one, she curled all five digits around him, her thumb smearing the clear bead of pre-cum over it. 

If it were at all possible that his heart was running relays at home, he hoped to god that the damned thing wasn’t causing a racket in its chest. 

“Am I doing this correctly?” she asked, knitting her brows. Had he not been so fixated on losing his shit right then and there, he may have laughed at the irony of her looking so innocent fisting his dick. And Ben hadn’t laughed in years. 

Ben nodded, gulping. “Yeah,” he croaked. “You can—it’s like this.” His fingers enveloping hers, he helped her find a pace rather than describing it and sounding dumber than he already did. 

She was so calm and patient as he reacquainted himself with those sentiments he had kept so tightly bound for all these years. And to have them unraveling in a matter of minutes was incredibly overwhelming. Her strokes started out slow, then progressively grew faster. Constricting her fingers and plying delicious pressure as his hips rutted into her grasp, her motions coinciding with his shallow thrusts. 

“Christ, Rey…” he praised, a moan resonating low in his chest. Cupping her cheek, he bowed his head and caught her mouth again. Aware of that familiar warmth building within his abdominals, he imagined Rey being underneath him on a warm bed - inside their own home on earthy soil - and buried balls deep inside her than on this grungy ship. 

“I’m so close,” he groaned. “So fucking close.”

“Let go, Ben,” she purred. “Let go and don’t hold back.” 

“I’m gonna come but Rey, there’s...there’s something I need to hear you say,” he pleaded in a gravelly voice close to her ear. “Please, please tell me I make you feel the same way as you do for me.”

He was begging her like a lovesick fool but Ben didn’t care. What he hadn’t foreseen was Rey taking him by the wrist and applying his first and middle digits firmly to the moist fabric at the apex of her thighs. Elated, he gave her hypersensitive nub there a tentative massage, her little gasp in exchange instating the final push that sent him over the edge. Trembling under the orgasm’s intensity, he stood rigid and came undone, reciting her name and a slew of unintelligible curses all in the same breath. 

It was  _the best_ fucking handjob he had ever received! 

Now, Ben was so keyed up his carnal instincts were in full bloom. The minute his post-orgasmic haze receded, he resumed his ministrations at her core. Flustered and seemingly butterfingered, Rey made it as far as tucking him inside his trousers before she uttered  _fuck it_ and flung her arms around his shoulders. Her kisses hot and needy—and he was marveling at the fact that her cunt was _soaked_ because of him. 

 _Why?_ was a question that his sub-conscience was always asking him. 

Half-encompassing her waist with his crustacean-arm, his hand clutched her thigh as Rey hoisted herself up and he carried her to the dining table, setting her down on top. Her legs bracketing his hips. If Ben couldn’t say he loved her, he sure as hell was going to show her. But first…

“If there’s anything you don’t want me to do,” said Ben, his thumb caressing her jaw. “I want you to tell me, okay?”

“I will,” she nodded, a reassuring smile preceded. “But I trust I won’t have to.”

“You say that a lot,” he noted. 

“The compass wouldn’t have led me to you if it weren’t the case,” said Rey assuredly. “Then again,” her nose wrinkled, “there  _was_ this asshole who once told me I have a terrible sense of direction. So, who knows? I may be heading south when I should be going north.”

Ben smirked, suppressing a laugh. “I hope you told this asshole off.”

“I did,” she beamed. “Wanna hear something funny? I kept running into him thereafter and eventually, he kinda grew on me.” 

“Is that so?” he grunted. “You still seeing him?”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed. “Thing is...I kinda like him, too.”

His grin broadened. “He’s a very lucky son of a bitch, then.” 

Snickering, Rey cradled his face and kissed him. “And I do, Ben,” she whispered to his lips. “I like you a lot and I wanted you to know that. Even if you never tell me what the cure to your curse is, I won’t stop helping you. You deserve to go home and I want to be there when you do.” 

Ben bit his tongue to restrain himself from unloading the truth. Despite the intimacy between them, it was her words that latched onto the last remnant of emptiness inside him. She cared about him; she  _wanted_ to go home with him. And  _like_ was beneath  _love_ on the grid. 

If it meant waiting another year or two for Rey to admit she loves him, he would certainly do that. 

Untying her hair tie single-handedly, her auburn locks fell to her shoulders in loose waves. He loved it when she wore her hair down, and it wasn’t until recently he was allowed to feel its softness, memorize its smell—a marvelous blend of the tropical breeze and yellowish sun rays. He admitted as much to her also. 

Then he kissed her. 

Somewhere during that period of heated kisses and roaming hands, Rey’s tunic came off and was laying rumpled behind her on the table. For a moment, Ben had unabashedly relapsed to his awkward eighteen-year-old self. Save for the identical tan lines down her arms midway, she was flawless. From the freckles peppering her shoulders and chest to her visibly defined stomach muscles. Her breasts were a league of perfection on their own. 

“Fuck, Rey,” he breathed. “You’re so fucking beautiful it hurts.”

Face reddening, Rey bit her lip and tipped her chin down. “They’re—I mean, they’ve always been a little on the small side,” she winced. “But if you insist…”

“I do insist,” he said assertively. “Maybe they are to you but to me, no.” He skimmed his fingers across the swell of her left breast before giving it a tender squeeze, making her keen. Grinning wolfishly and repeating the gesture, he bent at the waist and took her right nipple into his mouth, sucking and nipping gently at her skin, coaxing her rosey bud to a peak. Satisfied, his lips releasing her with a lewd pop, he moved onto the next, bestowing its twin equal affection as he did the other. 

“So beautiful,” he groaned into her warm flesh. “So perfect.” His sweltering lips marking a trail as he moved to the valley between her breasts. 

“Ben,” she mewled, hearing his name breach her lips played like church bells ringing inside his head. He would never get over the fact it was barely over a month ago when Rey despised him and now, she was letting him touch her in ways some had only lived in their wildest fantasies. Arching her spine, her head reclined back as she dragged her nails along his shoulder blades. Sliding his palm from her backside to her thigh Ben sunk to his knees, descending to the taut muscles on her abdomen and pausing just above the waistband of her slacks.

He peered up at her through dark eyes, seeking permission to explore her nether and to which she nodded in earnest. While Ben proceeded to remove her boots, she anxiously shimmied out of her slacks and underwear, dropping them to the side on the floor. His gaze returning to Rey, Ben sucked in a breath when it was her slick folds and a light patch of curls that his vision had landed on, and  _fuck_ he was totally getting hard again. 

This girl was going to be the death of him…

He took his time, easing himself and Rey back into the moment at a leisurely pace. To begin, he kissed her slowly and softly down each leg, ankle to thigh, hooking one leg then the other over his shoulders. His claw behind her, a pair of thick tentacles circled her thighs, their itty-bitty suckers lining their undersides meaning to anchor her in place. Pursing his lips, he blew a cool breath at her entrance before inserting a finger inside her.

“Oh god, yes,” she gasped breathily, hands flat on the table she instinctively bucked her hips. 

Stroking and rubbing his pad along her velveteen interior walls, he withdrew the one to insert two before the unthinkable occurred to him. _She wouldn’t go for it, would she?_ She certainly enjoyed fiddling with his beard whenever given the opportunity. And each of them  _was_ relatively the same circumference in breadth as two fingers at the ends. 

After a moment of hum-hawing, Ben took the risk and went for it. Certain he was going to get kicked or punched or kneed in the face but instead, Rey threw her head back and cried out a throaty _holy fuck_ to the rafters as he ever so gently slid a tentacle inside her. Stilling, he regarded her with rapt attention, anticipating the daggers to start flying but to his surprise, they never came. 

Spurred on by her hips canting and pitiful pleas, he began to thrust. Slow and gentle at first so to give her a chance for her to accommodate his width and becoming enraptured by the sheer ecstasy on her face as the tentacle moved inside her. 

With his hand at her hip, he pressed soothing kisses up her inner thigh and ending at her clit. His tongue flicked and teased at the sensitive skin over her entrance before sealing his lips around her and sucked, groaning as the exquisite flavor of her assaulted his taste buds. His actions driven by her labored breaths and encouraging words, alerting him she was drawing closer to finding her release. 

“Ben,” she panted. “I’m gonna...Oh, shit, I’m gonna come.” 

Humming his acknowledgment to her, Ben blindly reached his hand for hers on the table and gave it a squeeze. Digging her heels into his back beneath his shoulder blades, her body shook and fluttered when the tip of his tentacle hooked inside her, hitting her pleasure spot and she came chanting his name like a prayer.

Pulling his tentacle out and releasing those on her thighs, vigilantly, he let go of her hand and held onto her hip as he lowered her legs from his shoulders. He stood then and kissed her. Her mind inebriated still, her response was slower when she finally returned the kiss. 

“And you were worried that you’d disappoint me,” Rey pointed out with a blissful smile on her face. 

Ben preened. “Is it a bad time for me to ask if you’ll stay with me again tonight?”

Pretending to ponder his request, she lazily arched a brow and said, “I would love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben loves her... *sobs*


	13. Ghosts of Our Past: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe we're officially 5 chapters away from the end?? *sobs* I'm not ready! Thank you to the wonderful [mirrastupar](https://mirrastupar.tumblr.com) for the manip of Rey and Ben (DJ) in the moodboard. <3
> 
> Come bug me on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29). And a special thanks to my beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com).

> _Sunrise brought along a light fog over the Atlantic that morning. As Rey was leaving Ben’s cabin to tend to her daily chores, she caught the pale glow of a lighthouse revolving slowly in the distance. Pausing, her hand gripping the doorframe, she watched as the waves crested then smashed into the island’s rugged cliffside before mountains and trees materialized in the background beyond the mist._
> 
> _It was her first view of anything green in weeks._
> 
> _The air in this region was more humid with a misty rain licking the skin on her face and neck as opposed to the cool breeze on the vast ocean blue, similar to those dreary days on Jakku. But the scenery on this island was of lush greens and hills instead of towering palms and sandy beaches._
> 
> _At the sound of heavy footsteps from inside the cabin, Rey turned her head to see Ben approaching. There was no denying it, her feelings for him had irrevocably grown stronger. The tug on her heartstrings suggesting the root of her emotions burrowed deeper inside her heart than what she had admitted to him that afternoon a few days ago._
> 
> _But what was it that differentiated like from love?_
> 
> _The captain stopped beside her, his hand at the small of her back and kissed her temple. Rey swept those notions aside for pondering at a later date as she melted into him. “Which island is this?” she asked him. With well over a hundred islands in the Caribbean, it was difficult to discern one from the rest when there was fog thrown into the mix._
> 
> _Glancing at the island in question, it took Ben no longer than a second for him to identify their location. “Batuu,” he replied._
> 
> _Rey knitted her brows. “Batuu?”_
> 
> _Ben nodded. “A close neighbor of Jakku,” he said. “And precisely where we’re making port for the day.”_
> 
> _Blinking, Rey shot him a quizzical look. “Making port here? Why?” she prodded, crossing her arms and taking a few steps onto the quarterdeck as the captain proceeded to close the cabin door. “I thought you couldn’t go on land?”_
> 
> _“I can’t. Not yet, anyway,” he asserted. “Even if I could, I wouldn’t waste my one day here.” Rey quirked her brow at him. He was acting as if coming here had been intentional, though his passiveness stated the contrary. Letting the thought slide from her shoulders, it was after they had paced several steps forward when he finally enlightened her on his agenda for the day. “However...you can.”_
> 
> _A hand reaching for the crook of Ben’s arm, Rey halted both him and herself in their tracks. “Ben, what are you talking about?” she pried skeptically._
> 
> _“I’d promised you weren’t a prisoner here,” he grimaced. “We’ve been at sea for weeks, and you deserve to see more than this fuckin’ ship all the time. My mother preferred visiting the market here whereas most gave business to the designers in London. I can’t personally show you around, but I can let you see it for yourself. You’ll find almost anything here.”_
> 
> _Rey was at a loss for words. Not only was he giving her free reign to wander this island alone, but he was trusting her that she wouldn’t try plotting an escape from the Silencer. Once upon a time, she might have entertained the thought of running away from the cursed captain and his crew._
> 
> _Now things had undoubtedly changed between her and Ben._
> 
> _“It sounds lovely,” she said wistfully, folding her arms. “But unfortunately, I haven’t a shilling to my name. I doubt they’re any more generous here than the villagers on Jakku.” She shrugged, wetting her lips. “Which is fine, because if there’s one thing living humbly has taught me, it’s that you can’t buy what matters most in life.”_
> 
> _His mouth curved upright at a corner. “About that…” Parting his beard to the left, a rear tentacle came forth through the layers and revealed a small leather pouch that jingled as he shook it abruptly. “For some reason, I’ve held onto this for a decade. But thanks to a certain critter onboard who happens to be exceptionally good at pickpocketing enemies, there’s extra for you to spend.”_
> 
> _“Ben…” she sighed, wincing. “That’s yours. I couldn’t possibly acce—.”_
> 
> _“Rey,” he interrupted, “I meant when I said you wouldn’t go without again, and I have no need for money here.” Her mouth opened to argue that having him in her life was all she needed to be content before the captain’s hand reached for hers. Flipping her palm upward, he dropped the coin pouch into her fingers. “There are no strings attached here, okay? Just...please, let me do this for you.”_
> 
> _She studied the little pouch in her possession, chewing her bottom lip. For the life of her, Rey couldn’t recall any moment in the past where she had received anything for free—not without having a payback of sorts. And seeing as to how the captain was nowhere close to reneging on his offer, she whispered an appreciative thank you to him and shoved it into her empty trouser pocket._
> 
> _“One more thing,” he added. “If you make it back before sunset, there’s something I want to show you.”_

It was those exact words of his that kept Rey plodding down the boardwalk and not retreating to the rowboat she had left behind at the dock. His voice the lone reservoir of reassurance in her head that Ben wouldn’t abandon her here as her parents had done on Jakku. 

Still, in a weird sense, it felt like deja vu all over again. 

Fear had flared in her gut the moment she set foot on solid ground. And before she took another step onward, Rey peered over her shoulder at the bay. Her eyes landed on the Silencer idling a few hundred yards out from the shallows, and  _not_ the ghost of a ship she once knew as the Stardust. 

 _Ben isn’t them, Rey,_ she chided herself. _It’s alright, he won’t leave you._

Before her departure from the Silencer, Ben had made certain that her sword was holstered at her hip as well as the one-shot pistol Chewie had given her for protection. He’d kissed her, short and sweet, not quite a goodbye but the kind of which conveyed _I’ll see you later._ And he swore he would be waiting for her there when she returned. 

She needed to do this, needed to be strong—for him  _and_ for herself. Considering he was bound to the ocean, Rey knew he would enjoy listening to her speak of her experience here, providing her incentive to swallow that nagging anxiety and push forward.

A stone stairwell, flanked by banana trees and ferns, led Rey from the docks to the already bustling township. Beyond the main square, near the heart of Batuu, towers upon buildings steepled above trees and rooftops and into the dying clouds of fog, revealing a sapphire sky. If there ever came a time where it was necessary for her to describe this place to anyone, it was practically London crammed into the midst of jungles and mountains.

In all honesty, it was  _a lot_ for her eyes to consume in one sitting. Seeing it was best that she began here in the outskirts and navigate towards the middle, she started at the line of shops closest to her left. 

Baskets and wooden crates containing recently harvested produce were sitting upon tables beneath canvas awnings. Propped on the ground alongside table legs, away from the puddles and pedestrians down the busy street were feedsacks packed full of grains and equestrian feed. Bakers were among the food merchants, peddling fresh out of the oven rolls and pastries on carts. Rey happily indulged and purchased a blueberry muffin from a gentleman offering an assortment of gourmet bread and desserts. 

It was  _delicious._

Throughout her leisure stroll, she noticed there was an indescribable vivacious buzz in the air. Unlike the townsfolk of Jakku, the residents here were much more pleasant—everyone prattled on with just about anyone who so much as said  _hello._ And while Jakku was nowhere close in size to the metropolitan cities like London, even there Rey had been a faceless number among the masses. 

 _No wonder Ben’s mother fancied this place,_ she mused. 

As morning rolled into early afternoon, Rey found herself touring the streets farther inland, browsing carts that carried an extensive variety of flowers and herbs. Trekking passed the potters and weavers, she came upon the alleyways of infinite clothing vendors. 

A canvased enclosure with two side walls and a posterior was the first booth she stopped at around the corner. Dresses and evening gowns that had to have cost a pretty sum of shillings were strung up on clothing racks, inside and outdoors. Frilly bloomers, stockings, and other odds and ends of lingerie were neatly arranged in stacks across one of two tables; which were simply six-foot planks supported by a barrel at each end underneath. Included within the apparel mounds were several very stiff-looking undergarments that Rey hadn’t seen before, designed in multiple patterns with ribbon lacing their backs. 

 _Interesting._ Her eyebrow quirked at one, in particular, that was a dusky-shade of mauve with an off-white lace trimming the top.

“I was told it’s the latest fashion trend in London,” said a woman’s voice behind her. Removing her gaze from the garment, Rey turned to the young woman standing at the entrance.

She looked to be the approximate age as Poe: mid to late-twenties, Rey assumed. Hugging her lithe figure was a dress made of teal fabric and white zig-zag print on the bodice, its skirt a marigold yellow. Her skin naturally tanned with brilliant green eyes and curly russet-brown hair drawn up in a messy-styled bun. “It’s a corset,” she pointed out. “It’s supposed to improve your figure but let’s just say women in London must have learned not to breathe.”

Rey chortled, examining said garment on the table. “It does look uncomfortable,” she remarked. Sweeping her fingers across the silky material, her face wrinkled when she discovered how unyielding its rigidness was underneath. _Women are actually wearing these things?_ Try as she might, she couldn’t comprehend why a woman would put herself through such agony just to appear skinny.

“It is, trust me,” said the young woman, smiling. “I’m Zorii.”

“Rey,” she offered, casting a grin to the other woman. 

Zorii cleared her throat. “So what brings you to Batuu?” she asked. Clasping her hands, she sauntered towards Rey. “I’m usually pretty good with faces but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here before.” 

Rey furrowed her brows, grimacing. It wasn’t as if she could blurt out the fact she had been on the Silencer for the last month or so, and that its captain was funding her visit here. “I don’t get out much,” she answered, begrudging herself the minute she uttered the lie. “Jakku is kinda hard to leave once you’re stuck there and you don’t have the means to travel. But someone…” her sentenced tapered off as she began grasping for words. “Someone told me this was the place to visit if the opportunity ever presented itself.” 

“Oh, Jakku!” Even in the shade, Zorii’s irises shone vividly like emeralds in sunlight. “So you’re a neighbor. You must know Leia Organa then?” 

“Leia…” Rey drawled, her interest piqued by the woman’s sudden inquisitiveness. “As in Governor Leia Organa?”

“Mmhmm,” Zorii hummed. “Back when I was only helping my mum manage the store, she used to come here every so often with her son. It’s been a long time since I last saw her, though. Her son...he um,” her expression fell sullen. “He went missing years ago.”

Rey frowned and shifted on her feet. “Her son?” 

“Yeah, Ben Solo,” she affirmed. Taking a breath and folding her arms, she said, “He and this...guy I was dating at the time were best friends. Wasn’t conventionally attractive like your other naval cadets around here but—he was charming. Kinda reminded me of Leia, I guess. He was good at listening when you needed someone to talk to.” Shaking her head, she snorted. “And I may have been a little jealous of his hair because it was seriously fabulous.”  

Rey was processing the woman’s words as a sponge would have absorbed torrential rainfall in the Sahara desert. Replaying the conversation she held with Poe a few prior days ago, she pinned Zorii as the woman he had been referring to. And she  _knew_ Ben, pre-curse. 

But did she  _really_ think it was as simple as Ben having gone missing? Or was she aware he had become the unruly captain of the Silencer for all those years and if so, did she also know Poe was with him? 

“I’m sorry,” Zorii sighed. “You don’t know me and here I am blathering on about my woes to you. So!” Unfolding her arms, she clapped her hands together, her newly adopted enthusiasm not the least bit convincing. “What about you—you buying for anyone special?”

Rey bit her bottom lip. “The guy you dated—he was Poe, wasn’t he?”

Zorii blinked, momentarily taken aback by her abruptness. “Y-You know him?”

“He’s…here,” said Rey quietly. “I mean, not ‘here’ here. He’s onboard a ship in the harbor—with Ben.”

Gaping in utter bewilderment, Zorii’s mouth opened but failed to deliver the words she was wanting to say. Her stunned silence was all the assurance Rey had needed to come clean about the Silencer and the curse. How Poe had followed Ben onboard despite knowing the severity of those consequences and of their ten-year banishment from land. 

The pair seemed to have talked for hours after the cat was let loose from the bag. Zorii asked questions and Rey clarified what she was able to. She explained how fate had led her to the Silencer, spoke of her friendship with Poe—the sadness in Zorii’s eyes at the mentioning of him anew hadn’t gone unnoticed but Rey didn’t pry. 

And lastly, moseying about the diminutive space to the clothing rack where several dresses were hanging on display, she told her about the seriousness of her relationship with Ben. Her feelings for him and how she hoped to free him of the curse one day. 

“Do you love him?” Zorii asked softly. They say inquiring minds think alike because in that instant, staring absently at an ivory peasant dress with cropped, lace sleeves, Rey was asking herself the very same thing, for the hundredth time that day.

“I don’t know…” she frowned. “My family was absent most of my childhood so you could say I never had much of an example to go by growing up. I get the concept I just—don’t know if this is it or not.”

Zorii pinched her lips in thought, crossing her arms. “Well, you obviously care deeply for him and judging by the things you’ve told me, the same goes for him,” she smiled. “The Ben Solo that I knew—he’s a good guy. Family was always his priority. I imagine when he loves, he loves fiercely and doesn’t just want the sex that comes along with it. Those guys are hard to come by nowadays. Sometimes you can’t put emotions into words and by the time you _think_ you’ve figured it out, it might be too late.”

Rey gave her a small smile and nodded, wondering how much of that was from Zorii’s own experience. “That’s fair,” she agreed, but only time would tell if it was love she was feeling or something else. And she knew whatever it was, it couldn’t be rushed.

Her attention drifted back to the dress she had been eyeballing for some time now. There were fasteners running up its front, securing it shut with a tasseled rope at the waist, tied into a bow. Lace embellished the sleeves and its bottom hem adorned a delicate, gossamer trim. “I love this,” she whispered, more to herself than for the other woman to hear, her forefinger and thumb worrying the tassel fringe. 

Rey had never owned anything new before—let alone  _fancy._ Bearing in mind the surprise that Ben had in store for her this evening, she figured it wouldn’t hurt to look nice for him. Even though regarding the price tag made her cringe.

While Zorii was packaging the dress safely inside a champagne and cream boutique box for Rey, an identical pair of silver lockets with beaded chains on the jewelry table beside her caught her eye. Both circular molds maintained the engraving of a phoenix with its wings spread above its head, its tail feathers spiraling downwards. Legends called it the bird of eternal life, symbolized rebirth and overcoming darkness.  

 _And Lord knows we’ve both endured our fair share of lows in life,_ Rey thought. 

“Those just came in yesterday,” Zorii announced. “Perfect timing, right? They play music when you open them.” 

Rey added them to her purchase without hesitating. 

After all had been said and done, tucking her box of goodies beneath her arm, Rey turned to Zorii as she accompanied her outside. “You could come with me?” suggested Rey, jerking her head in the direction of the sea. “If you want to see _him,_ I mean.”

Zorii frowned and took a sharp breath. “My responsibilities have me tied here, I’m afraid,” she breathed. “Please say  _hi_ to Ben for me. I’m glad he’s okay. But if it’s not too much trouble—could you tell Poe that I forgive him?”

**

Back on the Silencer, Ben’s duties as captain had kept him occupied as Rey explored the town. For the most part, it got the job done during the day. Come twilight, though, when the sun was sinking in the west and the crew had begun filtering below deck, time seemed to have been held at a standstill.  

What if Rey wasn’t coming back?

It shouldn’t have bothered him. She’d been hesitant to go, had promised to return by sunset. But calming his inner demon once the fear of losing her had lodged itself in his head was damn near impossible. The apocalypse could have been bringing the world around him to its knees and yet his perception still wouldn’t have strayed from the docks in Batuu’s harbor. 

Waiting for her was pure and absolute torture. 

“Relax,” said Poe, strolling up from behind the captain and clapping a hand to his shoulder. “She’ll be here. With the way that girl inhales food, she’s probably getting her last-minute fill of curry goat and rice at Plo’s. That shit was amazing when we used to come here back in the day.” 

Ben side-eyed his first mate. “I’m sure curry goat isn’t all that’s on your mind, Dameron,” he snarked.

Poe’s lips flattened. “This isn’t about Zorii,” he groused, his pained expression upon mentioning her name made it clear Ben had reopened an old wound. “We’re talking about _Rey._ You seriously think she’s gonna leave you after spending an entire afternoon holed up inside your cabin with you, doing fucking God knows what? The same Rey who said she cared about you and wanted to help you?”

Ben scoffed. He knew Poe was right, and he hated himself for constantly doubting Rey’s affection for him. Waking these past few mornings with her curled like a feline in his lap should have made this easier on him. And recalling those intimate moments they shared in the morning or late at night before sleep. He remembered then he had done this for her because he loved her, to prove that he trusted her. 

This scavenger from Jakku had utterly bewitched him—mind, body, and soul. Now that she was in his life, he just couldn’t imagine it without her. “You’re right,” the captain winced. 

“I know I am,” Poe smirked. “Isn’t that why I’m here—to make sure your ass stays in-line?” Ben snorted and nodded. He had always been a sound voice of reason, even when his own relationship had taken a plunge into the garbage heap. “I’m gonna get myself some grub. Quit worrying, alright?”

 _Easier said than done,_ Ben thought, watching Poe leave. Although no sooner than his friend was enveloped by shadows in the stairwell, that little rowboat he had been waiting so anxiously for came into view, its passenger rowing towards the Silencer from the port. 

_Rey…_

A sigh of relief escaped him before the smile surfaced on his lips. He met her at the ledge where a rope ladder was dangling from, offering assistance when she gave him the box containing her purchases from the Batuu marketplace. Setting it aside on the floor, he helped her clamber over the ledge. The second her soles were planted on the floorboards, his hand cupped her jaw and he kissed her as if years had gone by without her rather than hours. And every time he found it was becoming increasingly harder  _not_ to say he loved her. 

Looping her arms around his neck, she sighed contentedly and purred against his lips. If it hadn’t been for the fact he was planning a romantic evening under the stars with music for the two of them, once the sun had set completely, he would have carried her to the cabin and enacted on those sinful thoughts crossing his mind. 

It was Rey who caved first and broke the kiss, panting. He was thankful at least one of them had mustered the strength to do so then. “Miss me?” she asked, almost teasingly. 

“You have no idea,” he crooned in response. To what extent, however, he decided to keep to himself. He wasn’t  _that_ stupid to admit he had been on the brink of suffering a nervous breakdown earlier. 

Grinning ear to ear, Rey pressed a soft peck to his lips and pulled away. “Saw an old friend of yours today,” she declared, bending her knees to retrieve the boutique box Ben had propped against the hull. Leaning back on her heels, she lifted the lid far enough off so that only she was able to peer inside. “She said to tell you _hi_ and that she’s happy you’re okay.”

Ben grunted. “I take it you met Zorii then,” he noted. They had known each other ever since he and his mother started visiting Batuu, precisely when he had been that lanky sixteen-year-old boy, with a nose and ears he hadn’t grown into yet. And it was Ben who had introduced Zorii to Poe. “God,” he blinked. “It’s been...years since I’ve seen her.”

“She was nice, helped me pick some things out in her shop. And she also might have mentioned a thing or two about you,” said Rey, sparing a glance up at him through her lashes as she slipped a hand inside her trouser pocket for his coin pouch. His wonder as to what she was doing was swapped with dread. Wearing a scowl, he begged, under his breath, to whatever gods were watching over them that Zorii hadn’t divulged anything too embarrassing. 

“ _Anyways,_ I um…” Sealing the lid onto the box, Rey rose to her full height and handed the leather pouch to Ben. “I bought you something. And before you say  _no,_ I got myself one too. But it also goes along with your second surprise for tonight,” she beamed. “Open it.”

Ben was apprehensive, but he accepted it. She’d already given him more than enough as it was, and the last thing he had wanted her to do was to spend money on  _him_ when he had gifted it to  _her._ A dozen or more suspicions churned in his head while his claw uncinched its leather drawstring: none of those guesses had been of a silver locket that tumbled into his palm, shaped like a phoenix. 

“There’s a music box inside that plays when you open it,” she gleefully explained. “I suppose it might sound a bit cheesy to a guy, but...I know you love music. I figured with what we’ve been through in our lives it was kinda—I don’t know. _Us_?”

Ben smiled. With his thumb, he opened the locket and the soothing lullaby began to play. It reminded him of the melodies his mother would sing to him whenever he woke from a nightmare as a boy. He missed her terribly. “It’s not cheesy,” he said, his voice laden with an emotion he couldn’t quite peg. “It’s—it’s perfect.”

“Yeah?” she queried softly. “So you like it?”

“I do,” he assured. He let the music play a little longer before closing the cap, allowing a front tentacle to grab the trinket and pass it to a tentacle in the back, ending up next to the appendage clutching the key to his heart. “Thank you,” he whispered, ducking his head for a kiss, hand reaching for hers. 

“You’re welcome,” she murmured, stealing another kiss. “I have one more thing to do before you show me what it is you wanted to show me tonight but first, I have a message for Poe—from Zorii. Give me a few minutes, okay?”

“Sure,” Ben nodded. “You still have plenty of time.” 

And perhaps, while waiting, he could assemble the courage to tell her later he was in love with her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we getting a BATB dance? Yes, we are!! I'll be hitting the BATB elements pretty hard in the next couple of chapters, which means the pain train and angst is right around the corner. :*( We'll be finding out a whole lot of what Hux has been up to (yeah, unfortunately, he isn't going away just yet). Everything will be okay though, I promise!! We're SO CLOSE to the curse being broken right now, ya'll have no idea!! And my goal is to have this finished by the time _The Rise of Skywalker_ comes out. <3


	14. Ghosts of Our Past: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry to have kept you guys waiting. I really wasn't looking forward to writing this chapter but...*sighs*  
>  **KLEENEX ALERT!!!**
> 
> Come bug me on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29). And a huge thanks to my beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) for giving this a quick read for me.

Unlike Batuu’s beautiful landscape and flourishing marketplace, Dagobah was known for its marshes. For the dozens of different species of reptiles and birds inhabiting its cypress forests and swamps. 

Mangroves thrived with Spanish moss drooping from their limbs. Crocodiles prowled the bayous beneath murky waters. Egrets and blue herons waded down grimy riverbanks, perusing the shallows for crayfish and smaller aquatic lifeforms during the humid daytime hours. 

At nightfall, twinkling fireflies pranced above sodden embankments. Frogs croaked and crickets sang as the sun disappeared from a watercolor sky. Save for the moon emitting its reflection upon the Nymeve River’s surface, there was nothing except darkness guiding Armitage Hux and Mitaka toward the First Order’s secluded hideaway. 

“D-Do you think they’ll help us?” asked Mitaka, breathily after rowing miles from the bay to their new destination upstream. Seated behind him, the captain tightened his pursed lips, his keen eyes narrowing at a pair of torches blazing in the distance ahead. 

Truthfully, Hux didn’t know _what_ to expect. 

In subsequent to Snoke’s death and the Supremacy falling under Kylo Ren’s command, the First Order had scattered like roaches fleeing a light source across the Caribbean. Their power to ward off the Jakku navy nosediving as a result. Months later, those who had been fortunate enough to elude persecution had fled to the swamps of Dagobah, dwelling in seclusion as mere ghosts from the past. 

One of those survivors had been the First Order’s iniquitous commander, Captain William Phasma. Relentless and cunning, Phasma did just about _anything_ to ensure he got his own way. Even if it meant going against his own kind. Needless to say, Hux’s trust in the captain was no greater than trusting a viper not to strike while standing an arm’s breadth away. 

But Hux was officially at a loss for alternatives. If he wanted to defeat Kylo Ren, he would need Phasma’s assistance and all who had persevered from the First Order fleet.  

“They will help us,” Hux replied coolly. “Or, they will kill us.” Mitaka’s response to that was an unintelligible squeak _._

It really was a miracle this little mouse of a man was still inhaling the same moldy fumes as him.

Near the mouth of the river, a shabby bungalow, nestled within sprawling cypress trees and muck, presented itself as the pirates’ hideaway. Their laughter roaring from indoors discernible over paddle oars sloshing in water as Mitaka maneuvered the craft towards the dock, torches on posts steadily ablaze. Wobbling, Hux clambered out of the dinghy, onto the dock, before his first mate had the vessel secured.

“Wait here,” ordered Hux. “Do not go back to the Supremacy until I return.” As the captain pivoted on a sole and began marching down the boardwalk, he heard Mitaka quietly stutter _y-yes, sir._

_And I will be back,_ Hux pledged to himself. Even if the chances were extremely high that the First Order would kill him for just being an outsider. Nobody would recognize the former first mate to the late Captain Snoke. Not when he held no resemblance to the cursed individual he had been before turning his back on Kylo Ren. 

_Luck._ His survival tonight depended on whether Lady Luck was on his side or not. He hated it—hated being so mortally fragile and weak. Hated how he’d already wasted so much time searching for Kylo fucking Ren’s heart when he could have been more patient and stayed on the Silencer all those years ago and waited for that opportunity to strike. 

It was a mistake he swore he would never make again.

Several pirates, slurping ale or rum from their steins, were sitting at circular tables in front of the front windowpanes, decidedly tipsy and drowning in clouds of smoke from puffing cigars. Too engrossed in their valiant tales of yesteryear, none of them, or the dozens of others standing about, noticed Hux slip inside. 

Tables were situated at random, candles for centerpieces and five to six chairs circling each. Burning wall sconces hung on support pillars, which rose to the second floor and a vaulted ceiling. And it smelled...horrible. So rank it made the swamp smell like a goddamn lupin field in the summer days. A compound of stale alcohol and nicotine and piss and—

—Christ, were these animals living here or people? 

“Well, well, well...” uttered a pirate approaching the captain’s left, his voice familiar, deep and eerily mellow. He was tall, pale-skinned and middle-aged, the muscles in his arms and chest exceedingly toned underneath an olive green shirt, its short sleeves rolled twice to his shoulders. His head shaven except for a sandy-blonde stripe down the middle. Crisscrossing his chest was a leather holster, sporting a dagger above his right hip and a flintlock at the other. He stopped in front of Hux and studied the captain intently, his blue eyes piercing. “Armitage Hux,” he chuckled, folding his arms. “You’re sure as hell not a snake anymore, but fuck—it’s impossible to miss the arrogance in that stench of yours.” 

Hux was too flabbergasted to take offense. “Captain Phasma,” he frowned. “How the hell did you—?”

“I have my ways,” Phasma cut in, smirking. Hux thought his reply unsettling. “So I heard you had quite the run-in with the Silencer recently,” Phasma remarked, turning to claim a seat at a vacant table nearby. “Going after the undead _alone?”_ Shaking his head, he pulled up a chair and sat down as Hux took another opposite his. “I gotta hand it to ya, that’s some pretty ballsy shit right there.”

Hux grit his teeth. “That’s why I’m here,” he scoffed. “I need your help.” 

Phasma’s brow quirked. “You’re really hellbent on killing him, aren’t you?” Hux responded with a subtle inclination of his head and the amusement on the other captain’s face slowly dimmed. Forearms braced on the table, Phasma took a breath and leaned over towards the redheaded captain. “In case you weren't already aware, Armitage, Ren _isn’t_ gonna be an easy man to kill.” 

Hux sneered at this. “Ren has the compass,” he affirmed. “Find him _and_ the compass and I can assure you we’ll have no problem finishing him off.”

“Why the hell do you need the compass for? All ya gotta do is put a knife through the fucker’s heart.” 

“Ren may not be the leader Snoke was, but let’s just say he was more clever in dissimilar aspects,” growled Hux. “He cut his heart out and hid it someplace on land.”

Phasma’s brows shot up to his hairline. “This...is definitely news to me,” he admitted as if he should have already known that tidbit of info beforehand. 

“So will you help or not?”

Phasma reclined in his chair, considering this. “That all depends,” he shrugged. “You killing Kylo Ren means you intend to take his place. You want the First Order’s help, then what reward is in it for us?”

Hux grinned knowingly. “How about a share in immortality?” he suggested. “Two immortal fleets: we would _own_ the ocean, Phasma. Lords of the sea. I keep the Silencer and you stay captain of the Finalizer.”

Phasma took a few moments to contemplate the other captain’s offer, and Hux waited with bated breath. “Alright,” said Phasma, directing a finger at Hux. “But double-cross me and I swear to Hades I’ll fuckin’ kill you myself.” 

Hux didn’t doubt that either. “I’m a man of my word.” 

“And if I’m gonna help you, we’re doing this _my_ way,” Phasma proceeded to explain. Hux’s brows furrowed in confusion. “We’re not gonna find Kylo Ren. I can tell you there’s another way to obtain his heart without that bloody compass.” 

Hux stared at him blankly. “How do you suppose we do that, exactly?”

Phasma snorted and rose from his seat. “You’re not the only man that has a witch he can look to for guidance,” he replied, gloatingly. 

_What the hell was he talking about? He has a witch…?_

Well, it explained how the First Order captain was so knowledgeable about Hux and his not-so-successful-tango with the Silencer.

Without Armitage having to demand an answer, Phasma led him to a backroom on the bottom floor. Shrouded in darkness and displaying minimal decor on its sooty walls. A cauldron was fixed inside a stone hearth on the wall parallel to the entrance of the antechamber, steam rising from its liquidy content. 

Whoever the witch was, it was clear she wasn’t morally ambiguous like Maz Kanata. 

“Rescued her a few years ago from the gallows on Naboo,” Phasma explained. “Long story but anyhow, since then, she’s helped me by keeping tabs on everyone in the world here. I hope you didn’t think you were _that_ special to believe people were talking about you, did you, Armitage?” The smug grin Phasma threw at Hux had him tasting the metallic flavor of blood from biting his tongue. 

The ginger’s perception went past the captain to a woman sitting at a table on a long, narrow bench in the left corner of the room. “Captain Hux, I want you to meet Bazine Netal,” Phasma announced, stopping three or four paces shy of the witch who went by the name Bazine.

Glancing from over her shoulder toward Hux’s vicinity, Bazine set aside the inky mug she was holding before she stood and turned to face the two men. She was...quite beautiful. _For a witch,_ Hux noted. Young and very much resembling a woman of her nature that exercised the blackest of black magic. 

Her skull was entirely clean-shaven with one, long swirly tattoo in Sanskrit, beginning at her crown and vanishing underneath her obsidian dress, revealing more skin in places on her slender figure than Hux had seen women wear at brothels. Below the large bindi centered on her forehead, she glowered at the captain through black orbs, measuring him up then down.

“Relax, sweetheart,” Phasma crooned, next to her. “We just need your assistance in locating something of great value to us.”

Bazine cast a long look at Phasma and then crossed her arms, returning to Hux. “Alright, and just so I make myself clear, Armitage,” she advised, “my services do _not_ come free of expense. For whatever it is you seek, there is a cost that must be paid.” 

Hux’s grin turned sinister. All those years of scouring beaches and townships for a compass he was beginning to think was nonexistent were finally over. The clock was ticking for his adversary and it was now only a matter of days before Kylo Ren would be dead. 

And the best thing about it—Ren would never know what had hit him in the end. 

“Trust me, you _will_ have your payment one way or another,” Hux promised. Still grinning, his hands clasped behind his back, the captain inched closer to Bazine. His cold blue eyes fixated on the witch’s equally cruel gaze. “Now, tell me where I can find Kylo Ren’s heart.” 

**

Rey emerged from the bow stairwell within minutes of the moon rising into a sky full of stars. If Ben had needed a reason to believe there were angels among them on earth, he certainly did now.

Her hair was framing her face in loose waves. The dress resembling a bridal gown with delicate lace for cropped sleeves. Four of the top clasps in front were unfastened, baring the slightest hint of cleavage plus her own matching locket. 

His tentacle squeezed the locket she had given him prior in the night. Watching her ascend the quarterdeck stairs, with the moon’s iridescence her personal spotlight, it occurred to him how much she looked like a bride meeting him at the altar. He wondered then if there could ever be a real wedding for them in the future. 

But before he wandered off thinking marriage, he needed to tell her tonight that he loved her. Easy peasy, right? 

Wrong. 

So fucking wrong. His stomach felt as if it had twisted itself into a pretzel just by standing there. 

“It’s not too much, is it?” Rey asked, a tendril of doubt filtering through her query. Drawing her bottom lip beneath her upper incisors, hands at her sides clutching her skirt, she tipped her chin and peered down at the toes of her boots peeking out from under the lace, adorning its hem. Such a simple act made her appear more innocent and pure than she did already. 

It made Ben smile. 

Of course, that wasn’t anything new. Rey had this impeccable knack for making his stormiest of days shine without putting forth the effort. 

“No,” he said softly. “You look beautiful.”

“Yeah?” She peered up at him and Ben nodded in affirmation. 

“You always look beautiful,” he rasped, arms encircling her waist. Grinning as she pressed her palms to his chest, he caught her lips and kissed her tenderly. “Although,” he uttered with his mouth looming above hers, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t imagining you wearing nothing right now.”

A part of him - a very, _very_ small part of him - was tempted to say there was no surprise and spend the remainder of the night worshipping her body inside his cabin, murmuring praises and listing those million reasons why he loves her. Good thing he didn’t though because Rey scowled in mock annoyance and playfully swatted his shoulder. 

“You are such a scoundrel sometimes Ben Solo, you know that?” 

Ben smirked. “Seriously, though, you look amazing.” 

Rey beamed at that. “Much better. And thank you,” she said shyly. While he couldn’t see if her cheeks were blushing or not he was willing to bet there was red underneath the shadows on her visage. “I’m glad you like it ‘cause it’s the second half of your gift.” 

A gift he didn’t mind unwrapping…

_Fuck._ Why was it such a chore all of a sudden to keep his cock and his brain running on the same frequency?

She slid her hands upward and threaded her fingers behind his neck. “Since you said you had something planned for us tonight I figured it was a good excuse t—.” The faint song of kettle drums and guitar playing in the wind ceased her train of thought, calling her awareness toward the island. “Hey...” her eyes darted to him then again to Batuu, scanning the shore in hopes of identifying the melody’s source. “Do you hear that?”

Ben nodded, his vision transfixed on Rey. _“That_ is actually your surprise.” She furrowed her brows in reply to his confession and looked at him, head slightly tilted to the side. For a fleeting moment, he forgot what he had wanted to ask her.

No measure of time could ever help him get over the way she perceived him. 

Clearing his throat, butterflies tickling his gut and his clammy palm splayed across the small of her back, Ben lifted his claw for her to take. “Will you dance with me?”

Rey blinked and took half a step back. “I—Are you sure? I mean, of course, you are. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked.” She breathed a nervous laugh. “Sorry, I just...I’ve never danced a day in my life.” 

Ben chuckled. He loved her rambling tendencies whenever she was anxious. “It’s just a slow waltz. You’ll be following my lead while I do all the work.” 

Rolling her lips, Rey exhaled loudly through her nose. “Okay…” she sighed. Relaxing a smidge, she accepted his extended claw, cupping the bottom cleft; her left hand grappling his right shoulder. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

“You did,” he assured, his palm urging her closer. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take and I accept that I’m wholly responsible for any injuries I might receive. You can play nurse for me though in the aftercare,” he concluded with a mischievous grin, waggling his browline, twice. Rey flung her head back and laughed.

“You’re ridiculous,” she scolded lightly. 

He took that as a _y_ _es_ for later activities _._

As the music arrived at its crescendo, Ben guided her through the steps. Muttering rhythmic counts quietly for Rey and reminding her to concentrate on his eyes rather than worrying about not stumbling over his or her feet. She caught on quickly and soon, they were moving as one. Connected and perfectly insync. Lost in the cosmos sparkling within the other’s gaze. When the tempo slowed he spun her outward and Rey gracefully twirled back, her dress fanning out as peacock feathers would. Her laughter frivolous and carefree.

“See? You’re practically a natural,” he praised. “And no injuries.”

“Yeah, so it’s not as scary as I thought,” she replied excitedly. “Who taught you how to dance?” 

“My mother, surprisingly. Didn’t have much of a choice though. With her high profile in the community, I was drug to a lot of galas and social events.”

Rey wrinkled her face, cocking her head. “Is that really a bad thing?”

“The dancing, no,” he groused. “When you’re a wallflower corralled inside the smallest room with every bootlicker in town, you’re a hare amongst wolves. Women were there solely to appease their parents, to find a suitable husband. The wealthier your family was, the better off you were. Dollar signs over love kinda bullshit.” 

Rey nodded, her levity fraying a smidge. “I can relate. But when you’re a little girl and forced to live alone among those wolves, you tend to view them a bit differently than just people starving for money,” she gave him a sorrowful smile. “You were fortunate to have had the family you did growing up, Ben. From all that you’ve told me, they seemed to have always had your best interests at heart. And in spite of the awful things that have happened since then, I know they still love you.”

Guilt flared inside his chest. His childhood paled in contrast to the deplorable tragedy that was Rey’s and it hadn’t been until the forthcoming years when he was hit by that doom and gloom in life. And in reference to his parents’ love for him still, Rey was probably right...Han and Leia would forgive him before Ben could even think about forgiving himself for his sins. 

_How_ his parents would react to seeing the creature their son had become, however, was a question he had been afraid of learning the answer to, and perhaps why he had been holding back from asking Rey to go home with him in less than a week. 

“They were foolish for abandoning you,” Ben noted evasively. “You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever known and I think my family would agree. Whenever the day comes for you to meet them, I know they’ll love you too.” 

Her head tipped sideways. “You think so?” 

He gave her a lopsided smile. “I know so.”

Rey considered him then nodded in response, a wan smile curling the corners of her lips. Her left hand slipping between Ben’s arm and ribs to the back of his navy and gold-trimmed overcoat, she pressed her cheek to his right breast. With the music nearing its final chords they held one another close, swaying in place. He deliberated telling her then and there that he loved her but the frog lodged in his throat wasn’t letting the words pass. 

Turns out, nothing was more nerve-racking than telling your first love you were in love with them.

“I wish my family was here to introduce you,” Rey said, despondently. “I think about my parents and it’s like...every day that passes, it's getting harder to remember them. I’ve barely any recollection of their faces or voices but I can remember the irrelevant things. Stupid things like the color and design of their ship flag,” she muttered bitterly. “It had this—this purplish-blue background with stars in a crescent shape. And the bottom point had a bigger cluster, kinda like a star bursting.” 

On second thought, some things were more terrifying than love confessions. Because that was the moment Ben felt as if the world had suddenly shifted off its axis. The music resonating from afar had stopped. Rey may have been talking still but all he detected was tinnitus ringing in his ears and the ache inside his chest from an absent heart had awoken after years of dormancy.

_That flag…_

Three years into his service on the Silencer, roughly a year before Ben removed his heart, he and the crew had come upon a merchant ship sailing a couple hundred miles from the American panhandle. Billowing in the wind above its center mast was a flag identical to Rey’s description. His orders had been explicit that afternoon, utilizing terms in plain and simple English: do _n_ _ot_ engage. And yet it was Armitage Hux who deliberately defied Ben’s orders, applying his seniority’s influential hold over the Silencer’s original crew and ordering round after numerous rounds of cannon ammunition into the hull of the lowly merchantman. 

_The Stardust._ They had been close enough to the Silencer for Ben to have heard those that miraculously survived the onslaught shouting to abandon their ship. Up until now, he had forgotten their screams. Had forgotten them pleading for mercy before thirty of his men rendered that patch of ocean red.  

_Fuck!_

“I keep thinking back on everything that’s happened,” said a woman’s voice. Blinking from what he hoped was a horrible dream, Ben was met by a familiar pair of hazels staring up at him admiringly. Rey’s arms were looped around his waist and his, at some point, must have mindlessly wrapped around her shoulders. “It’s almost as if all of this was meant to be. The compass. Our meeting. Me taking _Solo_ for a surname when I snuck onboard the Supremacy, without having met you or your father.”  

Ben couldn’t help frowning. An unshakable feeling nagging his gut that the very same force which brought them together was about to drive them apart. If it had been written in the stars for him to be captain of the crew that murdered her parents and witness their demise, then fate apparently held a morbid sense of humor. Or was this the universe’s method of punishing him for slaughtering those hundreds of innocent lives over the seven-year duration afterwards? 

“Ben?” asked Rey, craning her head for a better glimpse of him. “Are you okay?”

_No._ Frankly, he was wishing the floorboards would open from under him so the ocean could swallow him whole. But he needed to tell her no matter how bad the truth was going to hurt. “Rey…” he choked. “They’re gone.”

Rey batted her lashes rapidly, brows furrowing. “You’re not making any sense. Who’s gone?”

“Your parents. Their ship was a merchant class called the Stardust, wasn’t it?”

Rey’s breath hitched in her throat. Disentangling herself from their embrace, she stepped back with her eyes rounding in utter dismay. Avoiding Ben’s hand reaching impulsively for hers. “How…?”

“Rey, please. It’s not what you—.”

“I’ve never told you that name. How could you know?” she demanded sharply. “It was Stardust, yes, but _how_ do you know that?”

She was staring at him like she did when their first dinner together had begun to flop, and he hated it. Hated being made to feel he was as much a heartless monster now as he was then. Unfit for love or to be loved whereas today he’d readily give his life for Rey so long as it meant she would be safe. 

Christ, this was so unfair. He _hated_ that bastard Hux with a reinvigorated passion. Hated he hadn’t killed him when given the chance.

He closed his eyes and swallowed, willing the ire that was building inside him to ebb and he gave Rey the answers she had been asking herself for a decade. Excluding the gorier details. Hux’s insurgency that resulted in the uprising of thirty other men who had yet to be so willing to adapt to his principles, minus Poe and Chewie. 

By the time he had finished, tears were cascading down her flushed cheeks. And every time he reached for her, she slipped further and further away from him. “You could have stopped him,” she castigated, hiccuping. “You were the captain why didn’t you stop him?”

“I tried. Okay? You gotta believe me when I say that I tried. But once I realized what was happening, it was already too late. That fight was over before it had even started and those men below deck right now—it’s taken me years to earn their respect. Years to make them _want_ to change.”

“You could have tried harder!” she cried, gesticulating a hand at the crew quarters’ stairway behind her, the other held across her chest. “All that power you had over them, over Hux. What the hell was holding you back?”

“Rey…”

“My parents could have been coming back for me!”

“They _weren’t_ coming back!” Ben exclaimed. Rey stood there, frozen, chest heaving. And he regretted the outburst the minute he realized she was not only crying about her parents—but because of _him._ “They _weren’t_ coming back,” he repeated again, softening his voice. Two paces were required of him in order to bridge that rift between himself and Rey yet doing so was like trudging a mile through tar just to get to her. 

When he reached for her hand this time, she didn’t even flinch, didn’t even budge. Just stared at him, trembling. “The Stardust was England-bound. They were _never_ coming back,” he continued hoarsely. “I’m sorry. I’m _so._ ..so sorry for what happened. If it was possible to go back and change the outcome of that day, I would. But Rey, _they_ left you. I _won’t.”_  

A pause. 

During that lull in their discussion, Ben lifted her hand and a tentacle presented Rey the key to his heart. Her bottom lip quivering when she looked down at the bronze object in her palm informing him it wasn’t necessary that he explain what it was.

“I can’t begin to emphasize how much I care about you,” he said, releasing her hand. “There’s so much I want to tell you but the easiest way for me to say it is that I want you by my side. Tomorrow. Next week. Hell, seventy years from today. I would _never_ leave you. And I’d give you anything you could ever want if you would just tell me how I can fix this.”

Rey kept quiet for another minute, examining the key. Although eons could have flown by and it wouldn’t have been long enough for him to prepare himself for what was to come. 

“I want to go home,” she whispered. Her words knocking the air out of him as he struggled to respond with anything that didn’t resonate as a strangled _what_ from his throat _._

Rey bit her lips and peered up at him through watery, bloodshot eyes. “I need some time,” she sniffed. “I know that I made a promise to help you and I’m sorry. All of this is just...It’s too much for me to process at once. And I care about you, too.” Fresh tears began to gush from her clenched eyes at that. “I do, Ben. I care about you so much. More than you probably think right now but I just need some time alone for a while.”

Pressure welled behind his eyes that stung like needles. Confirming that even though his heart was missing he was still susceptible to emotions he hadn’t felt since his fall into darkness. A blend of sorrow and anger and pain. His anger directed more at himself than at Rey for the fact that not even his love had been enough for her to stay. Had she not attempted to return his key to him, he may have been more attentive to the lone tear trailing a wet streak from the corner of his eye, down his cheek, disappearing somewhere in his beard of appendages. 

He should have taken the key, hailed a falcon or a raven or a fucking _pigeon_ and had it delivered to Hux. Called it a day and say maybe, in another time, in another life, things could be different between himself and Rey. But instead, his hand pushed hers away. 

“No, it belongs to you,” he said, his voice faltering at the end. “It will _always_ belong to you.” 

She hesitated to move, to speak. And it wasn’t until after he pressed a kiss to her forehead, Rey firmly squeezing his hand, that he did what had to have been the hardest thing anyone had ever asked of him. 

He let her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peeks out from behind my rock* I better get started on that next chapter, huh? I'm taking bets on who gets to kill Hux first: Rey or Ben?!
> 
> Also, Bazine was inspired by the witch, Shansa, in the POTC: Dead Men Tell No Tales.


	15. Home Bittersweet Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear Reylos,  
> I am so, SO sorry for not updating in a couple months. This was... **extremely** hard to pick up after TROS and I can't thank you all enough for being so patient with me. I actually reverted to reading _The Cruel Prince_ series and let me just say that Jurdan has helped my broken Reylo heart heal. I'm really thinking about writing fics for them too. ;) 
> 
> Anyhow, I wish there was some fluff in this chapter but, there isn't. It's very Rey-centric with no Reylo. :( I'm sorry!! After deliberating really hard over this I decided to split the chapters up but I promise we're SO SO CLOSE to the curse breaking!! Hang in there with me for a little longer. <3
> 
> As always, thanks so much to my beta [drnucleus](https://drnucleus.tumblr.com) for giving this chapter a quick read through for me. Also, you're all welcome to come bug me on [Tumblr](https://nite0wl29.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nite0wl29).

Leaving the Silencer without a plan as to how she’d make it to Jakku wasn’t the smartest choice she had made, but Rey had been fortunate when she found a fisherman who was going there that night in Batuu’s harbor. Returning to the island where her parents had abandoned her years ago made her feel as if she had been living inside an hourglass for the last couple of months. 

How could she have been so happy one minute, only to have it all slip through her fingers the next? It was a terrible dream. It had to have been. 

A few hours later, though, when she arrived at the front door of the shack Rey had called home, reality showed her that it wasn’t a dream she was living in, but a nightmare. A nightmare she wouldn’t be waking from anytime soon. She cried for the majority of the night until sleep claimed her just hours before dawn. 

Rising at daybreak, she prowled the beach for _anything_ worth food and supplies at the market, instead of going to Maz’s as usual. Maz would have had questions. Questions she would have wanted answered. Explaining to the old woman why she had come back was inevitable, and all Rey wanted to do for now was simply forget. 

Thank God the universe seemed to have been on her side for once. 

She slid into that routine again the following days afterward. Looking for objects buried in sand anchored her thoughts, curbed the need to ask herself why her parents threw her to the gutters. She’d gone over that with herself many times before, the outcome shouldn’t have surprised her.

Yet, hearing the truth had managed to undo every stitch on her heart. And no one was to blame but herself for foolishly thinking that her parents could still come back for her when she’d known it wouldn’t happen.

So what did that mean for her and Ben? Did her subconscious feed her lies about him as well? What if the compass led her to him so she could discover the truth about her parents—to give her peace knowing they were gone forever, to let her finally move forward in life. Nothing more, nothing less.

Rey blenched. 

She knew that wasn’t true. Whatever this was - this feeling cemented deep in her heart - it felt real, like a part of her was missing. Ben had cared about her, despite her imperfections, despite the fact she was an orphan, a nobody. Life without him was...empty. And painfully hollow.

She missed feeling whole, missed _not_ being alone; even though being alone was what she had wanted. She missed _him._ His eyes. His voice—she missed that rumble in his voice more than words could describe. 

It had only been four days since she left the Silencer and without Ben beside her, four days on Jakku felt more like a hundred. And her loneliness never ceased to worsen whenever the moon began its evening ascent. 

Sometimes, even the brightest and starriest skies weren’t able to keep darkness completely away. 

Lounging on a cot in front of her shanty’s window, her locket singing its lullaby on the windowsill, Rey mulled over Ben’s words to her. How impossible it was to ignore the hurt in his eyes, the desperation in his words, as he begged her to stay. 

How could he have wanted her still when she’d called him weak just minutes before? Held him responsible for the Stardust’s casualties when that ire should have been directed at Hux. 

_Always, always blaming Ben. Always barging in with guns ablazing, and never asking questions beforehand._

Her eyes watered, blurring the skeleton key that her forefingers and thumbs held pinched in between. A key that appeared as an ordinary chest key to anyone else but unlocked something meaningful to Rey. Something valuable but priceless, and more precious than all the diamonds and rubies that money could buy in the world. And she wondered, briefly, where his heart was hidden. 

Days. Weeks. Whatever measure of time had passed before they reunited again, would Ben still feel she owned his heart? Perceived her as his true north as she did him? 

_Fuck. So much for not thinking, Rey. Bravo._

She counted her losses on sleep and watched the sunrise the next morning. Come time for her mid-afternoon stroll to the market, Rey was running solely on fumes. Her brain comatose, she hardly registered the second she nudged shoulders with a man she’d presumed dead after the Supremacy’s assault on the Silencer. 

“Rey!” 

Behind her, the voice shouted her name again, louder this time, and she froze mid-stride in the middle of the walkway. The last person she had expected to see when she threw a glance over her shoulder was Finn, a naval uniform replacing shoddy pirate garb. 

_“Finn?”_ she gasped, wondering if he was merely an apparition of her head games until he grew closer. “Oh, my God it is you!” Relieved to see him alive, she pulled Finn into a warm embrace. “What are you doing here?” 

“I was gonna ask you the same thing!” He backed up a step from Rey, eyes bulging and perceiving her as he would a ghost. “I thought you were dead until I heard you’ve been on the Silencer all this time. But, since you’re _here_ and not there, what the hell happened? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

Put off momentarily by the fusillade of questions, Rey blinked in response. “What? N-No! No, I swear it _wasn’t_ like that at all. Ben never tried to hurt me. He’s…He’s not that monster, Finn. Not anymore,” she frowned, arms folding over her chest. Impossible as it seemed, she needed him to understand that Ben Solo wasn’t the evil pirate captain that legends had depicted. “That man who gave his life to save his father’s, I’ve seen him. He’s _still_ Ben Solo and he’s...he’s wonderful.”  

He considered her words, brows quirking. “You sure there isn’t more you want to tell me? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it almost sounds like you fell for this guy while you were there.”

There it was. Again. The assumption that Rey was in love with Ben. First Zorii had called her out on her feelings for him, and now Finn. If her feelings really were _that_ transparent on the outside, perhaps she did love him?

“Holy shit,” Finn snorted, taken aback. “I’d actually meant it as a joke. But you _are_ in love with him, aren’t you?”

Too bad she didn’t trust her heart’s intuition enough to confirm or deny it.

 “It’s a little more complicated than that,” she sighed, avoiding the question. In all fairness, the marketplace wasn’t exactly the ideal setting for discussing her relationship with the pirate captain, either. Too many busybodies lurking about and word tended to spread like wildfire here, and farfetched rumors concerning herself and Ben was the last thing she wanted to deal with now. “To tell you the truth, a lot has happened since we saw each other last,” she went on, lowering her voice a notch. _“A lot._ I do have feelings for him, yes. What they are and where I should put them, I’m still trying to figure out.”   

Finn grunted, indicating he wasn’t buying her story. _Okay. Fine. Whatever._ Not like denial was written on her forehead or anything, right? She rolled her eyes. 

Somewhere, she overheard women cackling. Squealing pigs and hens clucking. Steel hammering steel from inside a blacksmith’s shop around the corner. It was a full, awkward moment’s pause that granted her opportunity to remark on the apparent makeover Finn had received before he could press any farther. 

“Anyhow, I see you ditched the pirate look. Does Hux know you’re here?” she prodded, wrinkling her nose. _Maybe it was more likely that Finn hadn’t been on the Supremacy during the attack than she thought?_

He shrugged. “Not that I’m aware of, no. Took him a few days to even notice you onboard. But I can wager that my being gone is the least of his cares right now.” 

“True,” she scoffed, curiously tilting her head. “Of all the islands you could have gone to then, what made you come here?”

Finn bit his bottom lip. “A few weeks ago, Hux came here and met with this elderly woman named Maz. He’s been looking for a compass that can point him to Solo’s heart, and I think he’s figured out where it is.”

Rey’s mouth went dry. “Maz Kanata, the pawnshop owner here?” Finn nodded, and she instantly felt sick to her stomach. If Hux suspected the compass was in her possession, then _she_ was most definitely his prime target. 

However, the rational part of her attempted to reason that Maz would never betray her—or Ben. For that, she was certain. Soothing the bristling hairs on her arms and neck, declaring otherwise, was another story. A storm was brewing, a storm irrelevant to the weather outside, and she couldn’t pin how or when.   

“There’s more…” he winced. “I was with Hux that night and after he left, I made a choice. I saw some pretty messed up shit and I knew there was no way in hell that I could ever be like him. I wasn’t going to help him, and the So—”

“I don’t recall giving you permission to stand around and yack all afternoon, Big Deal,” the gruff voice cut in rather brashly, startling Rey. Snapping her head, she glimpsed the naval commander joining them on her right. To her surprise, unlike other military officials she had passed every so often there, he acknowledged her with a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it lopsided grin, then pointedly fixed his eyes on Finn. “Hope I didn’t interrupt anything too important?’ 

Clearing his throat, Finn corrected his posture. “No, sir. I, uh—I was just heading to the fort before I ran into my...friend, here.” Apologetic, his gaze flicked over to Rey. “I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”

Nodding, she smiled at him weakly. While Finn quickly took his leave, the commander did not. In fact, for some reason, he quietly hung back, brows puckering towards the direction her friend had scuttled off to.  

“I’m sorry if I caused him any trouble,” she offered, and the commander looked at her, somewhat befuddled by her comment. “There was this...incident...a while back and I thought I’d never see him again. Then on top of it, the other day, I found out my family was killed after they left me stranded here years ago and I deeply hurt someone who I really care about as a result and it’s like,” she huffed, _“everything_ in my life is suddenly falling apart.”

Rey blinked, realizing she’d got a bit carried away in her musings. Eyes panning down to her boots, splotches of dried mud caked on their toes, she meant to apologize during those some-odd seconds of utter silence when the commander spoke. 

“You got a name, kid?”

Lifting her gaze to the commander’s, she found no judgment on his face. Just the impression he was someone who understood what it was to have suffered a tremendous loss. Someone well-versed in the terminal effects of war. His eyes, fatigued and sad. His smirk, catawampus and forced. Quirks that reminded her of Kylo Ren, before Ben Solo burst through those chips in his outer shell. 

“I’m Rey,” she responded softly. “Rey Turner.”

Something changed in him, then. His smile vanished as if learning her name had obliterated every ember his soul had nourished. “You’re Rey?” he rasped. 

A pause. Furrowing her brows, Rey struggled to regain the use of her vocal cords. “You-You’ve heard of me?”

He nodded. “Your friend might have mentioned you once or twice. Periodically. Alright, you’ve done me a favor cause now I won’t have to deal with him worrying over you every damn minute of the day.” Rey couldn’t help but snicker under her breath at his dry humor, and she murmured an apology for any grievances Finn had caused him. He snorted, though she could hardly deem it a laugh.

“Listen, Rey,” he grimaced, pushing all prior lightness between them aside. Shifting on his soles, the commander brought his hands to his waist and took a sharp breath. “My wife and I...we were told that you saw our son.” 

Who this man was, precisely, didn’t occur to her in that instant. Not until the dust had settled inside her brain did the significance behind his final two words click. _Our son. Our son._

_Our.Son._

_Han Solo._ He was Admiral Han Solo. Ben Solo’s father. And Rey, there was so much she needed to tell him.   


End file.
